Chapter 12 THE MINISTER'S VIGIL
第十二章 牧師的夜游

WALKING in the shadow of a dream, as it were, and perhaps actually under the influence of a species of somnambulism, Mr Dimmesdale reached the spot, where, now so long since, Hester Prynne had lived through her first hours of public ignominy. The same platform or scaffold, black and weather-stained with the storm or sunshine of seven long years, and foot-worn, too, with the tread of many culprits who had since ascended it, remained standing beneath the balcony of the meeting-house. The minister went up the steps.
丁梅斯代爾先生當真是在一種夢幻的陰影中行走,或許實際上是在一種夢游的影響下行走,他一直來到當初海絲特.白蘭第一次公開受辱數(shù)小時的地點。還是那一座平臺或刑臺,由于七年悠長歲月的風吹日曬雨淋已經(jīng)變得斑駁黎黑,而且由于又有許多犯人登臺示眾已經(jīng)給踐踏得高低不平,不過它依然矗立在議事廳的陽臺之下。牧師一步步走上臺階。

It was an obscure night of early May. An unvaried pall of cloud muffled the whole expanse of sky from zenith to horizon. If the same multitude which had stood as eye-witnesses while Hester Prynne sustained her punishment could now have been summoned forth, they would have discerned no face above the platform, nor hardly the outline of a human shape, in the dark grey of the midnight. But the town was all asleep. There was no peril of discovery. The minister might stand there, if it so pleased him, until morning should redden in the east, without other risk than that the dank and chill night-air would creep into his frame, and stiffen his joints with rheumatism, and clog his throat with catarrh and cough; thereby defrauding the expectant audience of to-morrow's prayer and sermon. No eye could see him, save that ever-wakeful one which had seen him in his closet, wielding the bloody scourge. Why, then, had he come hither? Was it but the mockery of penitence? A mockery, indeed, but in which his soul trifled with itself! A mockery at which angels blushed and wept, while fiends rejoiced, with jeering laughter! He had been driven hither by the impulse of that Remorse which dogged him everywhere, and whose own sister and closely linked companion was that Cowardice which invariably drew him back, with her tremulous gripe, just when the other impulse had hurried him to the verge of a disclosure. Poor,miserable man! what right had infirmity like his to burden itself with crime? Crime is for the iron-nerved, who have their choice either to endure it, or, if it press too hard, to exert their fierce and savage strength for a good purpose, and fling it off at once! This feeble and most sensitive of spirits could do neither, yet continually did one thing or another, which intertwined, in the same inextricable knot, the agony of heaven-defying guilt and vain repentance.
那是五月初的一個朦朧的夜晚。一望無際的云幕蒙住了從天頂?shù)降睾蹙€的整個夜空。假如當年海絲特.白蘭忍辱受罰時站在那里圍觀的人群能夠重新召集起來的話,他們在這昏黑的午夜依然無法分辨臺上人的面孔,甚至也難以看清那人的輪廓。不過,整個城鎮(zhèn)都在睡夢之中,不會有被人發(fā)觀的危險。只要牧師愿意,他可以在那兒一直站到東方泛紅。除去陰冷的空氣會鉆進他的肌體,風濕癥會弄僵他的關節(jié),粘膜炎和咳嗽會妨礙他的喉嚨之外,絕無其它風險可擔;果真染上這些癥狀,也無非是讓翌日參加祈禱和布道的聽眾的殷殷期望落空而已。沒有誰的眼睛會看到他,盡是要除掉那一雙始終警覺的眼睛——那人已經(jīng)看到過他在內室中用血淋淋的鞭子捆打自己了。既然如此,他為什么還要到這里來呢?難道只是對仟悔加以嘲弄嗎?這確實是一種嘲弄,但是在這種嘲弄之中,他的靈魂卻在自嘲!這種嘲弄,天使會為之脹紅著臉哭泣,而惡魔則會嬉笑著稱慶!他是被那追逐得他無地自容的“自責”的沖動驅趕到這里來的,而這“自責”的胞妹和密友則是“怯懦”。每當“自責”的沖動催促他到達坦白的邊緣時,“怯懦”就一定會用顫抖的雙手拖他回去??蓱z的不幸的人??!象他這樣一個柔弱的人如何承受得起罪惡的重負呢?罪惡是那種神經(jīng)如鋼鐵的人干的,他們自己可以選擇:要么甘心忍受;要么在受壓過甚時便運用自己兇猛的蠻力,振臂一甩,以達目的!這個身體贏弱而精神敏感的人兩者都不能做到,卻又不停地彷徨于二者之間,時而這,時而那,終將滔天之罪的痛苦與徒勞無益的悔恨糾纏在一起,形成死結。