Letting go of yesterday (1/2)


On Saturday, February 12 two thousand, two things happened that changed everything in my life. The first was that on this day my baby sister was married.

She was twentysix this day, and yet to me she was still my baby sister. I suppose that I pictured her as a little girl, and treated her like one in order to hold onto and preserve my own youth. Until I saw her in her wedding dress I still had a vision of her with chubby little cheeks and long, darkbrown pigtails blowing in the wind, perhaps even a permanent smudge of chocolate around her pink lips. I guess it's true that you see only what you want to see. Where did this beautiful woman with the glowing complexionand gentle _____1_____ come from?

I was happy that day, and also sad. Gone were the days of me bossing her around and telling her what she should do with her life. My bossy behavior had earned me the nickname Lucy. If you are a Peanuts fan then you can clearly imagine my behavior as an older sister. To me it wasn't an ____2_____; I rather like the nickname Lucy. I happen to think that Lucy is strong and has incredible selfconfidence, although she is a little overbearing at times. I did my best to live up to the standards set forth by this dynamic cartoon character.

I left the _____3____ to get some air because suddenly I was overcome with grief at the realization that I was no longer a child. I went outside and walked to a nearby playground
where there were children playing on the slide, the swings and digging in the dirt. There?was a little girl twirling around on a bar, one knee wrapped tightly around the bar and fashioned behind her knee. It was all I could do to sit there and just watch, for I too wanted to get on that bar with her and see if I could still hold the all-time twirling record (ninety-nine times in fifth grade).Somewhere inside I knew that I would break my neck, and I was wearing a bridesmaid dress. Not exactly play ground material. And so I sat watching the children play. I'm not sure how long I sat there before my sister came and joined me. We talked about how we are grown up now and shed a few tears for our childhood days gone by. As she wiped a tear from my eye she lovingly said, "________4_________."
We hugged.