1. Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: Getaway car too small for heist

馬來(lái)西亞吉隆坡：車太小、搶來(lái)錢也不夠裝

A lesson in the importance of planning ahead: Two Malaysians stole US$1.3 million but had to leave half of it behind because their van was too small to stash the loot. “The bags are quite big. I consider them quite stupid. Their planning was very shortsighted,” said the deputy police chief, Shakaruddin Che Mood.

凡事都要做好準(zhǔn)備，以下故事就是好教訓(xùn)：一對(duì)馬來(lái)西亞竊賊在盜取一百三十萬(wàn)美金之后被迫留下一半，原因是他們事先準(zhǔn)備運(yùn)鈔的貨車太小、根本裝不下這些現(xiàn)鈔。后來(lái)抓住他們的值班警員說(shuō)：“他們的包挺大的，我覺得他們實(shí)在笨透了，他們的準(zhǔn)備也太不充分了！”

滬江小編：那誰(shuí)說(shuō)的“不打無(wú)準(zhǔn)備的仗”，真是好有道理啊！

2. Kemaman, Malaysia: Spirit imprisons burglar for three days

馬來(lái)西亞登加樓：鬼怪來(lái)幫忙、小偷得手也別想出門

Who needs a home alarm when you’ve got a ghoul for security? A Malaysian couple returned from vacation to find a serial burglar lying on their floor, famished, dehydrated and clasping his hands in apology. The criminal insisted that after he broke into the house, a spirit blinded him and would not let him move or scream for 72 hours.

如果你有鬼怪看門、誰(shuí)還需要門警系統(tǒng)？一對(duì)馬來(lái)西亞夫婦度假歸來(lái)發(fā)現(xiàn)一個(gè)連續(xù)作案的竊賊躺在他家的地板上，已經(jīng)餓得奄奄一息、還脫水。這名罪犯后堅(jiān)稱他破門之后被這家人屋里的鬼怪困住、整整72小時(shí)不許他動(dòng)、也不準(zhǔn)他叫。

滬江小編：連鬼都看不下去了，可真是天網(wǎng)恢恢、疏而不漏?。?/font>

3. Hubei province, China: Robber flushes diamond rings down the toilet

中國(guó)湖北：強(qiáng)盜把到手的鉆石沖下馬桶

Zhou broke into a wealthy home and found two huge diamond rings. He decided they were too good to be true, so, like anyone with half a brain (yes, only half) he flushed them down the toilet. The robber didn’t realize that the jewels were real until after he was caught. Poor thing was “unable to stop sighing repeatedly.”

這位周姓盜賊闖進(jìn)一家富人家、發(fā)現(xiàn)了兩枚巨大鉆戒。他當(dāng)下認(rèn)定它們太好、看起來(lái)不像真的，所以，就如同所有只有半邊腦子的人那樣（是，只有半邊腦子），他把它們沖下了馬桶。直到這名盜賊被抓、他才知道這些珠寶都是真的。這可憐的家伙“禁不住不停嘆息”。

滬江小編：想這笨賊自己肯定都恨死自己了，別的我們也不用多說(shuō)。

4. Ningbo, China: Persistent burglar hides under bed for two days

中國(guó)寧波：笨賊毅力驚人、藏于床下兩天！

Burglar Li is not one to give up easily. He snuck into a woman’s apartment and found nothing of value. So he hid under her bed for two days, surviving on the sole apple in her fridge, until she returned. Li waited until she was asleep, stole her cell and money, and was promptly arrested.

李姓竊賊可不是那種輕易放棄的人。他溜進(jìn)一間女子的公寓、發(fā)現(xiàn)沒(méi)什么值錢東西。于是他躲藏在房間的床底、靠冰箱里一個(gè)蘋果撐整整兩天。直到主人歸來(lái)，他才從床底爬出，偷了主人隨身帶的手機(jī)和現(xiàn)金。不過(guò)緊跟著就被抓住了。

滬江小編：有如此毅力，背GRE考研究生、你干什么不好、非得干這個(gè)？

5. Laohekou, China: Drive-by robber nabs dog poo

中國(guó)老河口：飛車賊走了狗屎運(yùn)

Mrs Chen was waiting to withdraw money when her dog needed to deposit a “number two.” She wrapped up his business in newspaper and was ready to throw it away when two motorcyclists screeched to a halt, wrestled the warm package from her grasp and sped away. Police investigated the case while “l(fā)aughing at the stupidity of the robbers.”

話說(shuō)陳女士正準(zhǔn)備取錢，她的寵物狗要便便。于是陳女士就順手拿了報(bào)紙包裹起小狗的贓物。正當(dāng)她要把這堆報(bào)紙扔掉，一對(duì)飛車賊從旁呼嘯而過(guò)，將她手里的報(bào)紙一把搶走！警察隨后抓住了飛賊，并笑得直不起腰來(lái)。

滬江小編：這可是實(shí)實(shí)在在的狗屎運(yùn)啊！不過(guò)運(yùn)氣在警察這邊咯。