夏丏尊·《白馬湖之冬》
Xia Mianzun·Winter in White Horse Lake
| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國(guó)散文選二》
在我過(guò)去四十余年的生涯中，冬的情味嘗得最深刻的，要算十年前初移居白湖的時(shí)候了。十年以來(lái)，白馬湖已成了一個(gè)小村落， 當(dāng)我移居的時(shí)候，還是一片荒野。春暉中學(xué)的新建筑巍然矗立于湖的那一面，湖的這一面的山腳下是小小的幾間新平屋，住著我和劉君心如兩家。此外兩三里內(nèi)沒(méi)有人野。一家人于陰歷十一月下旬從熱鬧的杭州移居這荒涼的山野，宛如投身于熱帶中。
I am now over forty, but it was not until ten years ago that I got a feel of what winter was really like soon after I had moved my residence to White Horse Lake, a place beyond my home town. Since then, it has grown into quite a village, but it was an expanse of wilderness at the time when I moved in. The new buildings of Chun Hui Middle School then stood tall on the other side of the Lake while on this side were several newly-built small one-storey houses tucked away at the foot of a mountain where lived two families separately, the family of mine and that of Liu Xinru. The neighborhood was totally unpopulated far and wide except for the two households. Having moved from Hangzhou to this desolate countryside late in the month eleven of the lunar year, we felt like getting bogged down in a polar region.
要點(diǎn)：
1，“白馬湖”是湖名，也是地名，可用音譯法或意譯法翻譯，在這里用的是意譯法。
2，“冬的情味嘗得最深刻的”即“令我真正體會(huì)冬天的…”譯為I got a feel of what winter was really like, feel意為“體驗(yàn)”。
3，“a place beyond my home town”是增譯部分，體現(xiàn)了作者對(duì)于家鄉(xiāng)的熱愛(ài)。
4，“湖的這一面的山腳下是小小的幾間新平屋”譯為while on this side were several newly-built small one-storey houses tucked away at the foot of a mountain，“平屋”即“平房”，與bungalow(平房)不完全相同，tuck away屬增益成分，意為“隱藏在…”更加強(qiáng)調(diào)了周圍環(huán)境的寂靜，更增添了幾分原文的味道。
5，“沒(méi)有人野”=unpopulated
6,“宛如投身于熱帶中”譯為we felt like getting bogged down in a polar region.其中，“投身于”譯為get bogged down in（陷入…困境）更加符合原文情景。
綜述：
夏丏尊的散文我們之前也分析過(guò)不少了，比如之前的《我之于書(shū)》《中年人的寂寞》，其文章以感情真摯著稱，本文中分別對(duì)向馬湖的寒風(fēng) 、風(fēng)光和積雪進(jìn)行了抒情式的描寫(xiě)．文章構(gòu)思嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)周密，平淡樸素的用語(yǔ)中，卻蘊(yùn)含了作者對(duì)舊地故屑的眷眷之情，為了充分表達(dá)這種感情，需進(jìn)行適當(dāng)?shù)脑鲎g。
那里的風(fēng)，差不多日日有的，呼呼作響，好像虎吼。屋宇雖系新建，構(gòu)造卻極粗率，風(fēng)從門(mén)窗隙縫中來(lái)，分外尖削，把門(mén)縫窗隙厚厚地用紙糊了，椽縫中卻仍有透入。風(fēng)刮得厲害的時(shí)候，天未夜就把大門(mén)關(guān)上，全家吃畢夜飯即睡入被窩里，靜聽(tīng)寒風(fēng)的怒號(hào)，湖水的澎湃?？可降男『筌?，算是我的書(shū)齋，在全屋子中風(fēng)最少的一間，我常把頭上的羅宋帽拉得低低地，在洋燈下工作至夜深。松濤如吼，霜月當(dāng)窗，饑鼠吱吱在承塵上奔竄。我于這種時(shí)候深感到蕭瑟的詩(shī)趣，常獨(dú)自撥劃著爐 灰，不肯就睡，把自己擬諸山水畫(huà)中的人物，作種種幽邈的遐想。
The wind there blew almost every day, bowling like a tiger’s roaring. The new houses were of poor quality, with a biting wind coming in through every chink in the doors and windows. And our efforts to have all the cracks sealed with paper nevertheless failed to stop it from breaking into the house. When it was very windy, all we could do was to shut the front door before dark and go to bed after supper, listening quietly to the whistling of the sharp wind and the surging of the Lake waters. In the small rear-room close to the mountain, which, least affected by the wind, was my study, I often worked by the light of an oil lamp late into the night, with my woolen cap pulled down, while the pines were singing in the wind, the white moon shining on the window, and hungry rats squeaking and scurrying in the neighborhood of the ceilings. Seized with a poetic mood generated by the scene of bleakness, I would stay up late and sit alone poking the charcoal fire, imaging myself a figure in a traditional Chinese landscape painting and indulging in deep reveries.
要點(diǎn)：
1，“粗率”即“粗略草率，不精確，不周到”涉及到房屋可譯為were of poor quality。
2，“風(fēng)從門(mén)窗隙縫中來(lái)，分外尖削”意為“凜冽的風(fēng)從縫隙中吹來(lái)”，biting wind簡(jiǎn)潔生動(dòng)。
3，“靠山的小后軒，算是我的書(shū)齋，在全屋子中風(fēng)最少的一間…”譯為In the small rear-room close to the mountain, which, least affected by the wind, was my study…原文把“在全屋中風(fēng)最少的一間”放于句末，而譯文中卻把其作為插入性成分放入句中。強(qiáng)調(diào)的是“風(fēng)最少”譯者深刻地意會(huì)到了原文 作者的用意，將其作為插入成分放到了譯文中。 因?yàn)樵谟⑽闹胁迦氤煞质强梢云鸬綇?qiáng)調(diào)和引也讀者注態(tài)的功能的. 很好地表這了原作者的意圖，不僅使譯文自然流暢而口準(zhǔn)確地傳達(dá)了原作者的用意。
3，“松濤如吼，霜月當(dāng)窗”譯為while the pines were singing in the wind, the white moon shining on the window，注意“當(dāng)窗”即“正對(duì)著窗戶”。
4，“饑鼠吱吱在承塵上奔竄”譯為hungry rats squeaking and scurrying in the neighborhood of the ceilings，其中“承塵”作“天花板”解是我國(guó)特有的文化詞之一。 如果直譯恐外國(guó)人不知所云，譯者在這里用了“the neighbor-hood of the ceilings”，語(yǔ)義清晰明了。
5，“把自己擬諸山水畫(huà)中的人物，作種種幽邈的遐想”即“想象自己是山水畫(huà)中的人物，并沉浸在自己的遐想中”譯做imaging myself a figure in a traditional Chinese landscape painting and indulging in deep reveries.
綜述：本段語(yǔ)言優(yōu)美，文學(xué)性強(qiáng)，注意譯者在表達(dá)原文意思的基礎(chǔ)上對(duì)于作者情感的把握。
現(xiàn)在白馬湖到處都是樹(shù)木了，當(dāng)時(shí)尚一株樹(shù)木都未種。月亮與太陽(yáng)都是整個(gè)兒的，從上山起一直照到下山為止。太陽(yáng)好的時(shí)候，只要不刮風(fēng)，那真和暖得不像冬天。一家人都坐在庭間曝日，甚至于吃午飯也在屋外，像夏天的晚飯一樣。日光曬到哪里，就把椅凳移到哪里，忽然寒風(fēng)來(lái)了，只好逃難似地各自帶了椅凳逃入室,中，急急把門(mén)關(guān)上。在平常的日子，風(fēng)來(lái)大概在下午快要傍晚的時(shí)候，半夜即息。至于大風(fēng)寒，那是整日夜狂吼，要二三日才止的。最嚴(yán)寒的幾天，泥地看去慘白如水門(mén)汀，山色凍得發(fā)紫而黯，湖波泛深藍(lán)色。
White Horse Lake is now rich in vegetation while at that time it was totally treeless. When the sun shone bright on a windless day, it would be nice and warm. The whole family would then sit in the courtyard to bask in the sun, and even have lunch in the open air like we did in summer. Where there was sunshine, there we would move our chairs. When the cold wind came, however, we would scamper indoors like refugees, each carrying a chair or stool and hastily closing the doors behind us. The wind usually began to howl towards evening and last until midnight. In the case of a severe storm, it would rage for two or three days and nights on end. At the height of the bitter cold, the fields would for several days look deathly pale like cement, the mountains would turn dirty purple with cold, and the ripples of the Lake would be of a deep blue.
要點(diǎn)：
1,“現(xiàn)在白馬湖到處都是樹(shù)木了，當(dāng)時(shí)尚一株樹(shù)木都未種”譯為White Horse Lake is now rich in vegetation while at that time it was totally treeless. in that time it was totally treele用．此處的 vegetation 指“植被”是包括樹(shù)木在內(nèi)的總稱， 為概略化的轉(zhuǎn)換，其譯文意為植被繁盛．有英文散文的韻味。
2，“太陽(yáng)好的時(shí)候，只要不刮風(fēng)，那真和暖得不像冬天”整合句意為“沒(méi)有風(fēng)的日子，陽(yáng)光是很溫暖的”譯為When the sun shone bright on a windless day, it would be nice and warm.
3，“日光曬到哪里，就把椅凳移到哪里”即“哪里有陽(yáng)光，我們就把椅子移到那里”譯為Where there was sunshine, there we would move our chairs.這個(gè)句式類似于Where there's a will, there's a way.(有志者事竟成)
4，“慘白如水門(mén)汀”譯為deathly pale like cement，“水門(mén)汀”即“混凝土”，“慘白”=deadly pale ,其中deadly也可換為deadly，ghastly。
5，“山色凍得發(fā)紫而黯”即“山因寒冷而變?yōu)榘底仙保g為the mountains would turn dirty purple with cold；“湖波泛深藍(lán)色”即“湖泊的漣漪呈現(xiàn)出深藍(lán)色”，譯為the ripples of the Lake would be of a deep blue。
綜述：依舊是難理解的一段，句式較為復(fù)雜，需要細(xì)細(xì)分析。
下雪原是我所不憎厭的，下雪的日子，室內(nèi)分外明亮，晚上差不多不用燃燈。遠(yuǎn)山積雪足供半個(gè)月的觀看，舉頭即可從窗中望見(jiàn)?？墒蔷烤故悄戏剑慷卵?不過(guò)一二次。我在那里所日常領(lǐng)略的冬的情味，幾乎都從風(fēng)來(lái)。
I had no aversion to snowfall because it was much brightened up my room, so much so that I could almost do without lamplight at night. The distant mountains would remain snow-capped for at least half a month—a scene I could easily enjoy from my window. However, it was a pity that, living in the south, we could have snowfall only once or twice each winter .Hence it was from the wind only that I could in my daily life get a taste of winter.?
要點(diǎn)：
1，“下雪原是我所不憎厭的，下雪的日子，室內(nèi)分外明亮，晚上差不多不用燃燈”譯為I had no aversion to snowfall because it was much brightened up my room, so much so that I could almost do without lamplight at e和so that 的運(yùn)用，不僅準(zhǔn)確表達(dá)原文的話義內(nèi)容，而且使譯文銜接更加緊密，自然流暢。
2,“晚上差不多不用燃燈”譯為I could almost do without lamplight at night，do without意為“沒(méi)有…也行”。
3，“遠(yuǎn)山積雪足供半個(gè)月的觀看，舉頭即可從窗中望見(jiàn)。”譯者將其轉(zhuǎn)述為“遠(yuǎn)山的積雪可持續(xù)半個(gè)月，這是我一抬頭就能看見(jiàn)的風(fēng)景”，譯為the distant mountains would remain snow-capped for at least half a month—a scene I could easily enjoy from my window.不僅還原了原文的意思，這樣譯也使得譯文更加簡(jiǎn)潔。
4，“可是究竟是南方，每冬下雪 不過(guò)一二次?！弊g為However, it was a pity that, living in the south, we could have snowfall only once or twice each winter.譯者增加主語(yǔ)we，使得行文變得流暢。
白馬湖的所以多風(fēng)，可以說(shuō)有著地理上的原因。那里環(huán)湖都是山，而北首卻有一個(gè)半里闊的空隙，好似故意張了袋口歡迎風(fēng)來(lái)的樣子。白馬湖的山水和普通的風(fēng)景地相差不遠(yuǎn)，唯有風(fēng)卻與別的地方不同。風(fēng)的多和大，凡是到過(guò)那里的人都知道的。風(fēng)在冬季的感覺(jué)中，自古占著重要的因素，而白馬湖的風(fēng)尤其特別。
White Horse Lake is windy for geographical reasons. The place is surrounded by mountains except in the north where there is a gap as wide as one fourth of a kilometer, like the wide open mouth of a bag, ready to accept the wind. It is the wind that differentiates White Horse Lake from other scenic spots. Anybody who has been to the place can tell how frequent and violent the wind is there. The wind has, since time immemorial, been an important factor in characterizing winter, particularly so in White Horse Lake.
要點(diǎn)：
1，“半里”即250米，譯為one fourth of a kilometer。
2，“風(fēng)在冬季的感覺(jué)中, 自古占著重要的因素…”意為“風(fēng)是凸顯冬季特色的一個(gè)重要因素”，譯為T(mén)he wind has, since time immemorial, been an important factor in characterizing winter…
現(xiàn)在，一家僦居上海多日了，偶然于夜深人靜時(shí)聽(tīng)到風(fēng)聲，大家就要提起白馬湖來(lái)，說(shuō)“白馬湖不知今夜又刮得怎樣厲害哩！”
Now it is quite a few days since I and my family moved to Shanghai. Whenever the wind blows in the stillness of the night, we will all mention White Horse Lake, saying, “White Horse Lake must be terribly windy tonight!”
要點(diǎn)：
1，“白馬湖不知今夜又刮得怎樣厲害哩！”?意即“白馬湖今夜想必又刮大風(fēng)了”，譯為White Horse Lake must be terribly windy tonight！
綜述：散文翻譯不外乎三個(gè)原則，真實(shí)表達(dá)原文之意，保持原文之“形”，呈現(xiàn)原文之神，本文是遵循這三個(gè)原則的范例，值得好好揣摩。
聲明:本雙語(yǔ)文章的中文評(píng)析系滬江英語(yǔ)原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容,轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處。中文評(píng)析僅代表作者個(gè)人觀點(diǎn)，如有不妥之處，歡迎指正。
