美國晚間脫口秀一周笑話精選(8月2日)
"Sarah Palin resigned a year-and-a-half before her term ends because
she didn't want Alaska to have a lame-duck governor. Now, she has a
book deal presumed to be worth millions. And I cannot wait to read it.
I believe on the tenth page, she decides since the book is going to end
anyway, to leave the last two hundred pages blank." -Stephen Colbert
莎拉·佩林在她任職期滿的前一年半辭職了,因?yàn)樗f她不想讓阿拉斯加有一個(gè)跛腳鴨州長?,F(xiàn)在,她有一份價(jià)值上百萬美元的出書生意。我等不及要讀這本書了,我相信在第十頁她會決定,這本書反正都會寫完,就把剩下的兩百頁留白好了?!沟俜摇た茽柌?br>
"If conservatives get to call universal healthcare 'socialized
medicine,' I get to call private, for-profit healthcare 'soulless,
vampire bastards making money off human pain.'" --Bill Maher
如果保守主義者把全民醫(yī)保叫做“社會化醫(yī)療”,我就把私人的、營利的醫(yī)療叫做“沒心肝的,依托于人類痛苦賺錢的吸血鬼?!薄葼枴ゑR赫
"Big news up in Alaska. Sarah Palin will formally step down as governor on Sunday, leaving us completely unprotected from the Russians." --Jimmy Kimmel
阿拉斯加的大消息啊,莎拉·佩林周日正式下臺了。留下我們在俄羅斯人面前毫無防備。——吉米·卡莫
"Members of the Senate are considering a tax on cosmetic surgery. When they brought it up, you should have seen the look that Nancy Pelosi's face tried to make." --Conan O'Brien
參議員的成員們正在考慮對整容征稅,當(dāng)他們提起這件事的時(shí)候,你真應(yīng)該看看南?!づ迓逦飨胱龀龅谋砬??!履稀W布萊恩
"Opponents of President Obama's healthcare plan point out that people in other countries sometimes have to wait in line for healthcare, which Americans would never accept. Here, we only wait in line for stuff that's important, like iPhones and "Grand Theft Auto 4." --Jimmy Kimmel
奧巴馬總統(tǒng)醫(yī)療計(jì)劃的反對者們指出其他國家的人有時(shí)不得不排隊(duì)看病,這是美國人民不能接受的。在美國,咱們只為一些重要的東西排隊(duì),比如iphone和俠盜獵車手4.——吉米·卡莫
"Yesterday, of course, on Fox News commentator Glenn Beck said that he believes President Obama is a racist. Well, to be fair, every time you watch Glenn Beck, it does get a little easier to hate white people." --Conan O'Brien
昨天,當(dāng)然是在??怂剐侣勁_,新聞評論員格倫·貝克說他認(rèn)為奧巴馬總統(tǒng)是個(gè)種族主義者。好吧,公平點(diǎn)說,你每看格倫·貝克一次,就很容易更討厭白人一點(diǎn)。——柯南·奧布萊恩
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