美國晚間脫口秀一周笑話精選(7月24日)
"But the governor of South Carolina, Governor Sanford has lately been seen not wearing his wedding ring. And I was thinking, geez, I hope he didn't lose it while he was hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Then he'll never find it." --David Letterman
但是據(jù)觀察,最近南卡羅來納州的州長,桑福德州長已經(jīng)沒有戴婚戒了。我那會想,老天,我希望他不是在阿巴拉契亞山遠足的時候丟掉的,要是那樣的話他就永遠也找不回來了?!笮l(wèi)·萊特曼
"President Obama throws out the first pitch at the All-Star Game. And people are criticizing him because he had the big baggy jeans on…I want to tell you something. In all honesty, if we had wanted a president who looked good in pants, we'd have elected Hillary." --David Letterman
奧巴馬總統(tǒng)在全明星賽上投出了第一個球。人們都在批評他因為他穿了一條松松垮垮的牛仔褲——我很想跟你們說一句話,發(fā)自肺腑的,要是咱們想要一個穿褲子穿的好看的總統(tǒng)的話,咱們當初就應該選希拉里?!笮l(wèi)·萊特曼
"A new book reveals that George Bush's twin daughters Jenna and Barbara were a nightmare for Secret Service to keep tabs on. The girls responded, 'That's not true. We had tabs at every bar we went to.'" --Jimmy Fallon
一本新書披露說喬治·布什的雙胞胎女兒吉娜和芭芭拉曾是特勤部監(jiān)視工作的惡夢。女孩們回應說:“那不是真的,我們在去過的每一家酒吧都留了賬單。”——吉米·法倫
"I know where I'm going to go on my next break. I'm going to the C Street House in Washington, D.C. You know what this is? It's kind of a frat house for Christian congressman, where they live and pray together and counsel each other on how to adhere to the nine commandments." --Bill Maher
我知道我下次休假去哪里了,我要去華盛頓特區(qū)的C街,你知道那是什么嗎?這是一種基督徒國會議員們的兄弟會房區(qū),他們住在那里,一起祈禱互相勸導如何遵守九誡?!葼枴ゑR赫
基督教義本來是摩西十誡的,這里變成了九誡,少了哪一個呢?咱們往下看。
"I say the nine commandments because Gov. Sanford hung out there, John Ensign, the Senator from Nevada who was banging his chief of staff's wife, he lives there. And now a third alumnus, a former Republican congressman named Chip Pickering, has also been exposed for cheating on his wife, apparently actually in the house. It kind of makes you miss those innocent days when Republicans just tried to blow a stranger in an airport bathroom." --Bill Maher
我說九誡是因為桑福德州長在那里混,內(nèi)華達州的參議員約翰·恩賽,這個因為和下屬的妻子亂搞丟掉了工作的家伙,他住在那?,F(xiàn)在第三位“志同道合”的人也來了,這個前共和黨議員奇普·皮克林被爆對妻子不忠,他也在那里。這有點讓人懷念那個純真年代,那時候共和黨人只是試圖在一個機場的衛(wèi)生間性騷擾一個陌生人?!葼枴ゑR赫