再見(jiàn)罷，我不幸的鄉(xiāng)土喲
“Good-bye, My Ill-fated Motherland!”

巴金
Ba Jin

| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國(guó)散文選二》

踏上了輪船的甲板以后，我便和中國(guó)的土地暫別了，心里自然裝滿(mǎn)了悲哀和離愁。開(kāi)船的時(shí)候我站在甲板上，望著船慢慢地往后退離開(kāi)了岸，一直到我看不見(jiàn)岸上高大的建筑物和黃浦江中的外國(guó)兵艦，我才掉過(guò)頭來(lái)。我的眼里裝滿(mǎn)了熱淚，我低聲說(shuō)了一句：“再見(jiàn)罷，我不幸的鄉(xiāng)土喲!”
The moment I set foot on the deck of the ship, there began my temporary separation from Chinese soil and a feeling of parting sorrow welled up in my heart. At sailing time, I stood on deck watching the ship receding slowly form the bank until I was out of sight of the towering waterfront buildings and the foreign warships on the Huangpu River. Thereupon I turned round with hot rears in my eyes, murmuring, “Good-bye, my ill-fated motherland!”

要點(diǎn)：
1，本文題目“Good-bye, my ill-fated motherland!” 是一首叫做《斷頭臺(tái)上》的歌的第一句，據(jù)說(shuō)是舊俄政治犯蜜蠟科夫所做
2，“踏上甲板以后，我就…”譯者在此將其轉(zhuǎn)化為“從踏上甲板的那刻起，我就….”，譯為the moment I…,相較于直接譯為After更具文學(xué)性
3，“心里自然裝滿(mǎn)了悲哀和離愁”可譯為my heart was filled with the natural sorrow of parting、I was seized with the sadness of parting、a feeling of parting sorrow welled up in my heart等，現(xiàn)采用最后譯法，因前兩者側(cè)重“狀態(tài)”，最后譯法側(cè)重“動(dòng)作”，能更好地表達(dá)作者踏上甲板時(shí)隨即產(chǎn)生的情緒。其中seized with的用法，我們?cè)凇峨x別》中也見(jiàn)到過(guò)，“我有一種說(shuō)不出的感動(dòng)“譯為I was seized with violent emotion, tears welling up in my eyes and blurring my eyeglasses.
4，“望著船慢慢地往后退離開(kāi)了岸”也可譯為watching the ship moving slowly backwards to tear itself away from the bank或watching the ship receding slowly from the bank。《離別》中“…當(dāng)我倚在高高的船欄上，見(jiàn)著船漸漸的離岸了，船與岸間的水面漸漸的闊了…“譯為L(zhǎng)eaning over the high railing, I watched the ship tearing itself away slowly from the shore, leaving a widening expanse of water in between.此處的”離岸“也用了用tear away
4，“岸上高大的建筑物”可譯為the tall riverside buildings或the towering waterfront buildings，現(xiàn)選用后者。其中towering意為“高大的，高聳的”即extremely tall or high and therefore impressive，較tall更有畫(huà)面感

綜述：《離別》和《再見(jiàn)罷》題材類(lèi)似，二者對(duì)比起來(lái)學(xué)習(xí)，將會(huì)有不錯(cuò)的提升

再見(jiàn)罷，我不幸的鄉(xiāng)土喲，這二十二年來(lái)你養(yǎng)育了我。我無(wú)日不在你的懷抱中，我無(wú)日不受你的扶持。我的衣食取給于你。我的苦樂(lè)也是你的賜與。我的親人生長(zhǎng)在這里，我的朋友也散布在這里。在幼年時(shí)代你曾使我享受種種的幸福；可是在我有了知識(shí)以后⑤你又成了我的痛苦的源泉了。
Good-bye, my ill-fated motherland! I owe what I am to the upbringing you have given me during the past 22 years. I have spent every day of my life in your warm bosom and under your loving care. You have given me joy and sorrow as well as food and clothing. This is where my close relatives were born and brought up and where I have friends here and there. You gave me a wide variety of happiness in my early childhood, but you have also been the source of my sorrow ever since I began to understand things.

要點(diǎn)：
1，“這二十二年來(lái)你養(yǎng)育了我”譯者轉(zhuǎn)換主語(yǔ)，譯為I owe what I am to the upbringing（養(yǎng)育） you have given me during the past 22 years，其中I owe what I am是增益成分，既表達(dá)原文的內(nèi)涵，又傳達(dá)了作者的感激之情?！稄垺分幸步o出了兩個(gè)可選的翻譯方案，I have been under your loving（充滿(mǎn)愛(ài)的） care for 22 years或You have been rearing（養(yǎng)育） me for 22 years，但皆不如第一種譯法貼切。但這三句的表達(dá)都是值得借鑒積累的好句型~
2，“我無(wú)日不…”是一個(gè)雙重否定句，譯者在此譯為肯定句，即“我每日都…”
3,” 我的衣食取給于你。我的苦樂(lè)也是你的賜與?！焙献g為“你給了我衣服食物，給了我快樂(lè)傷悲”，原文中“取給于你”“是你的賜予”都帶有被動(dòng)含義，譯文變被動(dòng)為主動(dòng)~值得借鑒
4，“在我有了知識(shí)以后”不宜直譯為since I began to have knowledge，因這句的意思應(yīng)為“自從我懂事以來(lái)”，故譯ever since I began to understand things。

綜述：不管文學(xué)還是非文學(xué)，翻譯時(shí)都應(yīng)盡量避免被動(dòng)句（刻意要突出新信息或動(dòng)作施動(dòng)者時(shí)除外）

在這里我看見(jiàn)了種種人間的悲劇，在這里我認(rèn)識(shí)了我們所處的時(shí)代，在這里我身受了各種的痛苦。我掙扎，我苦斗，我?guī)状螢l于滅亡，我?guī)Я吮轶w的鱗傷。我用了眼淚和嘆息埋葬了我的一些親人，他們是被舊禮教殺了的。
Here I have witnessed all sorts of human tragedy. Here I have come to know the times we live in. Here I have undergone untold sufferings. I have been struggling, fighting and, time and again, found myself on the brink of destruction and covered all over with cuts and bruises. I have laid to rest, with tears and sighs, some of my close relatives—relatives victimized by old feudal ethics.

要點(diǎn)：
1， 本段出現(xiàn)了兩次“種種，各種”，第一次譯為all sort of,第二次譯為untold（數(shù)不盡的，難以形容的，未敘述的）
2， “我掙扎，我苦斗，我?guī)状螢l于滅亡，我?guī)Я吮轶w的鱗傷?！敝形臑榱送怀鰪?qiáng)調(diào)，增強(qiáng)氣勢(shì)，采用了并列的句式，翻譯時(shí)要進(jìn)行合譯?！拔?guī)Я吮轶w鱗傷”即“我全身被傷所覆蓋”譯為I have been covered all over with cuts and bruises.
3， 文中將“埋葬”譯為lay to rest,”殺了”譯為victimize，都是采取了委婉的說(shuō)法，文學(xué)翻譯中常見(jiàn)~

綜述：
注意untold的用法，體會(huì)文學(xué)的委婉~

這里有美麗的山水，肥沃的田疇，同時(shí)又有黑暗的監(jiān)獄和刑場(chǎng)。在這里壞人得志、好人受苦，正義受到摧殘。在這里人們?yōu)榱藸?zhēng)取自由，不得不從事殘酷的斗爭(zhēng)。在這里人們?cè)诔运耐?lèi)的人。——那許多的慘酷的景象，那許多的悲痛的回憶!
Here, besides beautiful mountains and rivers and fertile farmland, we have ghastly prisons and execution grounds as well. Here bad people hold sway while good people suffer and justice is trodden down underfoot. Here people have to wage a savage struggle in order to win freedom. Here man eats man. O the numerous terrible scenes! O the numerous sad memories!

要點(diǎn)：
1，“這里有…同時(shí)又有…”譯作besides…we have …as well
2,”得志“即“掌權(quán)”譯為hold sway,“摧殘”即“踐踏”，譯為tread down
3, “在這里人們?cè)诔运耐?lèi)的人”亦即“在這里人吃人”，故譯Here man eats man。

綜述：
本段原文采用了“在這里”的排比，抒發(fā)了作者強(qiáng)烈的情感，頗有氣勢(shì)，譯者也采用了here 開(kāi)頭的并列句，在最大限度上還原了原文的意思和情感~

喲，雄偉的黃河，神秘的揚(yáng)子江喲，你們的偉大的歷史在哪里去了?這樣的國(guó)土!這樣的人民!我的心怎么能夠離開(kāi)你們!再見(jiàn)罷，我不幸的鄉(xiāng)土喲!我恨你，我又不得不愛(ài)你。
O the grand Yellow River! O the mysterious Yangtze River! Where on earth are your glories of the past? O my native land! O my people! How can I have the heart to leave you?Good-bye, my ill-fated motherland! Much as I hate you, I’ve got to love you as ever.

要點(diǎn):
1，“你們的偉大的歷史在哪里去了?”意即“你們過(guò)去的輝煌哪里去了?”，故譯Where on earth are your glories of the past?。
2，“我的心怎么能夠離開(kāi)你們?”意即“我怎么舍得離開(kāi)你們?”，故譯How can I have the heart to leave you?或How can I find it in my heart to leave you?。其中have the heart to do和find it in my heart to do都是“忍心做某事“的意思
3，“我恨你，我又不得不愛(ài)你”如譯I love you as much as I hate you或I love you though I also hate you，會(huì)讓人感到迷惑，到底是愛(ài)還是恨？(╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻
其實(shí)作者的情感其實(shí)是“哀其不幸，恨其不爭(zhēng)“，因此譯為Much as I hate you，I’ve got to love you as ever，其中Much as作“雖然”解，等于Although；as ever作“照?！苯猓碾m無(wú)其詞而有其意。

綜述：
最后一句作者情感較為復(fù)雜?，要根據(jù)上文，進(jìn)行深刻解剖之后再譯~

聲明：本雙語(yǔ)文章的中文評(píng)析系滬江英語(yǔ)原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容，轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處。中文評(píng)析僅代表作者個(gè)人觀(guān)點(diǎn)，僅供參考。如有不妥之處，歡迎指正。