兒時
Childhood

瞿秋白
Qu Qiubai

| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國散文選二》

生命沒有寄托的人,青年時代和“兒時”對他格外寶貴。這種浪漫諦克的回憶其實并不是發(fā)見了“兒時”的真正了不得,而是感覺到“中年”以后的衰退。本來,生命只有一次,對于誰都是寶貴的。
One who lives a life without high aspirations will treasure all the more the memory of his own youth and childhood. As it is, sentimental recollection marks his awareness of post-middle age decline rather than his discovery of anything truly remarkable in the bygone days.Life is of course precious to anyone because he will pass through it but once.

要點
1,生命沒有寄托的人,青年時代和‘兒時’對他格外寶貴?!币饧础耙粋€沒有崇高抱負的人會格外懷念他的青年時代和兒時”,故譯為One who lives a life without high aspirations will treasure all the more the memory of his own youth and childhood.
① high aspirations此處表達“寄托”之前在《今》中我們也見到過這個表達,屬高頻表達啦~
② treasure=cherish,此外表示懷念時,也可以用到我們在《今》中見到過的be nostalgic for來表示哦
2,“其實”注意一下此處譯為as it is,可以更好地起到承上啟下的作用~
3,“浪漫諦克”此處譯為sentimental,而非romantic,因為前者更偏重“傷感”之意,而后者更多的是“不切實際”的意思,因此sentimental更好~
4,“生命只有一次”譯為he will pass through it but once.其中but once為副詞短語 ,意即“只有一次“

綜述:句式無難點,注意譯者“不走尋常路的出彩表達“~

但是,假使他的生命溶化在大眾的里面,假使他天天在為這世界干些什么,那末,他總在生長,雖然衰老病死仍舊是逃避不了,然而他的事業(yè)──大眾的事業(yè)是不死的,他會領(lǐng)略到“永久的青年”。
But one will long remain fresh and vigorous, if he identifies himself with the broad masses of people and day in, day out does his bit for the good of the public. Although, being subject to the law of nature,he too will eventually become aged and die, yet his cause—the public cause—will be everlasting. He will enjoy perennial youth in spirit.

要點
1,“假使他的生命溶化在大眾的里面“意即”如果他與大眾打成一片“故譯if he identifies himself with the broad masses of people。其中identify with 意為”認為…與…等同“
2,“假使他天天在為這世界干些什么“譯為(if he )day in, day out does his bit for the good of the public,其中day in,day out=天天,”為這世界“即”為公益“,do one’s bit 意為”做貢獻“~
3,“他總在生長“乍一看這句話的確不好懂,根據(jù)下文”衰老“”‘永久的青年’“可以推斷出”生長“即”充滿活力“故譯為one will long remain fresh and vigorous
4,“衰老病死仍舊是逃避不了“此處反話正譯,將”逃避不了“譯為being subject to the law of nature(順從自然規(guī)律)
5,“他會領(lǐng)略到‘永久的青年’“這里”‘永久的青年’“加了引號,說明并不是實際上的,而是精神上的,翻譯時要給讀者講明白,因此譯者增譯了in spirit,即”精神上,內(nèi)心中“

綜述:本段需要理解意思而后下手,注意最后一句此處對于引號的翻譯

而“浮生如夢”的人,從這世界里拿去的很多,而給這世界的卻很少,──他總有一天會覺得疲乏的死亡:他連拿都沒有力量了。衰老和無能的悲哀,像鉛一樣的沉重,壓在他的心頭,青春是多么短呵!
Those who dream away their life without doing anything useful are taking from this world much more than they are giving to it until at last they are too enfeebled to take any more and die of weariness.Consequently, a sad feeling of getting senile weighs heavily on their mind like a lump of lead. All they do is bemoan the transience of youth!

要點
1,“‘浮生若夢’“即”虛度時光“故譯為those who dream away their life without doing anything useful~其中dream away 也可換為dawdle away等詞(我在《中年人的寂寞》的分析文中有過對于”虛度時光“的總結(jié)~
2,“從這世界里拿去的很多,而給這世界的卻很少“意即”拿的比給的少“用一個much more than就足以達意,簡潔明了~
3,“──他總有一天會覺得疲乏的死亡:他連拿都沒有力量了?!白g為until at last they are too enfeebled to take any more and die of weariness
① 本句破折號表示語氣轉(zhuǎn)折,依舊可以不譯。
② 原文”死于疲乏““和”連拿都沒有力量“以冒號連接,后者是對前者的解釋,二者具有潛在的因果關(guān)系,以and連接的兩個謂語常常用來表達此關(guān)系,如:Lack of adequate lubrication promotes wear and shortens component life.譯為:如果潤滑不足,則會加快原件磨損,從而縮短使用壽命
4,“像鉛一樣的沉重,壓在他的心頭”譯為a sad feeling of getting senile weighs heavily on their mind like a lump of lead. a lump of意為“一塊”,是增益成分,使得譯文更加形象~
5, “青春是多么短呵!”意即“他們只好感嘆青春是多么短暫”,譯為All they do is bemoan the transience of youth!注意這個感嘆句前面是逗號,也就是說這個“感嘆”的發(fā)出者并非作者本人,而是那些“浮生若夢”的人,因此沒有直接用how引導(dǎo)的感嘆句

綜述:要注意本段的引號,破折號,冒號,逗號…的翻譯,中文標點符號的作用不可小覷,而英文標點符號就沒有這么多功能,在翻譯時需要尤其注意~

“兒時”的可愛是無知。那時候,件件都是“知”,你每天可以做大科學(xué)家和大哲學(xué)家,每天都在發(fā)見什么新的現(xiàn)象,新的真理。現(xiàn)在呢?“什么”都已經(jīng)知道了,熟悉了,每一個人的臉都已經(jīng)看厭了。宇宙和社會是那么陳舊,無味,雖則它們其實比“兒時”新鮮得多了。我于是想念“兒時”,禱告“兒時”。
Childhood is lovely in terms of our erstwhile childish ignorance. In those early days, everything was new to us. Every day we were something of a great scientist of philosopher. Every day we discovered something new---new phenomena or new truth. What about now? Now we know everything only too well. We are tired of seeing every familiar human face. The whole universe and society seem stale and boring to us though, in fact they have a lot more new things now than when we were in our childhood. Hence I feel nostalgic for my childhood and pray for it.

要點
1,“‘兒時’的可愛是無知”即“兒時的可愛之處(兒時之所以可愛)在于那時候我們年幼無知”故譯Childhood is lovely in terms of our erstwhile childish ignorance.其中in terms of意為“在…方面,就…方面來說”
2,“你每天可以做大科學(xué)家和大哲學(xué)家”譯為Every day we were something of a great scientist of philosopher,其中something of 把原文“多少有點”或“在某種意義上”的隱含語氣表達了出來,以緩和語氣~
3,only too=all too譯為“非常,極其,很”文學(xué)翻譯中這類程度副詞大家多少要掌握一些

綜述:注意本段譯者對于原文語氣情感上的還原~

不能夠前進的時候,就愿意退后幾步,替自己恢復(fù)已經(jīng)走過的前途。請求“無知”回來,給我求知的快樂??膳潞?,這生命的“停止”。過去的始終過去了,未來的還是未來。終竟感慨些什么──我問自己。
When we cease to advance any more, we are inclined to fall back a few paces and indulge in reminiscences of the path we have already trodden. We pray for the return of “childish ignorance” so as to re-experience the joy of knowledge-seeking. O this cessation of life! How horrible it is!What is gone is gone, and what is to come is to come. What are my innermost feelings of it?

要點
1,“過去的始終過去了,未來的還是未來”譯為What is gone is gone, and what is to come is to come. 這兩句譯得多么妙~
2,“終竟感慨些什么──我問自己。”意即“(我不知道)我內(nèi)心深處的情感到底是什么”可以譯為否定,但譯為疑問句語氣更強烈~

綜述:最后兩段比較簡單,本篇文章雖然短小,但知識點很多,可謂句句珠璣~

聲明:本雙語文章的中文評析系滬江英語原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容,轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處。中文評析僅代表作者個人觀點,僅供參考。如有不妥之處,歡迎指正。