美國晚間脫口秀笑話一周精選(6月26日)
美國南卡羅來納州州長馬克·桑福德前一周失蹤了,重新出現(xiàn)之后召開了記者招待會,說自己在過去一年和一名阿根廷女性有了婚外情。并說自己當初“太天真”。
"Gov. Mark Sanford disappeared...and it turned out he was in South America. And then it turned out he was down there because he was sleeping with a woman from Argentina. Once again, foreigners taking jobs that Americans won't do." --David Letterman
州長馬克·桑福德不見了……后來大家發(fā)現(xiàn)他去了南美,然后大家又發(fā)現(xiàn)他去那里是因為他和一個阿根廷女人有染。外國人又一次做了美國人不會去做的工作?!笮l(wèi)·萊特曼
"Gov. Sanford may have broken the law because he left the country without transferring power to his lieutenant governor. Yeah, apparently Sanford violated South Carolina's sacred bros before hoes law." --Conan O'Brien
桑福德州長可能已經(jīng)觸犯了法律因為他離開了國家而沒有把權(quán)力移交給助理州長。是啊,很明顯桑福德在觸犯法律之前就觸犯了南卡羅來納的神圣兄弟?!履稀W布萊恩
"Today the governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, who's the head of the Republican Governors Association, held a press conference to reveal he had an affair with a woman from Argentina. People were shocked because Republicans traditionally don't do well with Hispanic women." --Conan O'Brien
今天南卡羅來納州的州長、共和黨州長聯(lián)合會主席馬克·桑福德,舉行了一場記者招待會,承認他和一名阿根廷女性有婚外情。人們都很震驚因為共和黨一直和說西班牙語的女人相處不來?!履稀W布萊恩
這里不知道有沒有影射奧巴馬提名的新大法官索尼婭·索托馬約爾。索尼婭出身美屬波多黎各,屬于西班牙語裔。自從奧巴馬提名以來,共和黨人就一直在質(zhì)疑她、揪她的小辮子。
"Good for her I say! Good for you! Finally! I never understood why
these women had to stand by their douchebag at the press conference.
He's like, 'Oh I did this I did that then I took off her dress and then we went to Hooters'...I think what the wives should do is just
wear a t-shirt that says 'I'm with stupid.'" --Craig Ferguson, on Mark
Sanford's wife not appearing at his press conference
要我說真有她的,真有你的!真是,我一直不懂為什么這些女人非得在記者招待會上站在混球的旁邊。他就“我做了這個我做了那個然后我脫掉了她的衣服然后我們
去了貓頭鷹……”我想這時候妻子們應(yīng)該做的事情是穿一件T恤,上面寫著“我和一個笨蛋在一起。”——克萊格·弗格森評論馬克·桑福德的妻子沒有出現(xiàn)在他的記者招待會上
"Did you hear about Mark Sanford, the governor of South Carolina? He
mysteriously disappeared last week and nobody knew where he was. Today,
Sanford admitted to having an affair in Argentina. I'm like, great, now
we'reoutsourcing mistresses." --Craig Ferguson
你們聽說南卡羅來納州州長馬克·桑福德了嗎?他上周神秘失蹤,沒人知道他在哪。今天,桑福德承認和一名阿根廷女性有婚外情,我就想,太好了,我們已經(jīng)在外包情婦了。——克萊格·弗格森
"The past couple of years there have been a whole bunch
of scandals involving governors. You know things are bad when the most
normal governor of the last decade was Jesse 'The Body' Ventura."
--Craig Ferguson
過去的幾年有太多關(guān)于州長的丑聞了,咱們都知道世道壞了,過去十年最正常的州長是杰西·文圖拉?!巳R格·弗格森
杰西·文圖拉是明尼蘇達州的州長,他是美國前職業(yè)摔跤手。
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