When emotional intelligence (EQ) first appeared to the masses, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding: people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70% of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into the broadly held assumption that IQ was the sole source of success.
當情商（EQ）初次出現(xiàn)在人們的話題時，通常是那些奇怪發(fā)現(xiàn)中所缺失的一環(huán)：擁有平均水平智商的人們通常都比高智商人士的表現(xiàn)更出色，比例達到70%。這種“不正?！钡默F(xiàn)象使得大量認為“智商是成功的唯一要素”的假設發(fā)生了改變。

Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90% of top performers have high emotional intelligence.
近幾十年來的研究開始把重點轉(zhuǎn)向情緒智商（情商），認為這才是決定成功人士與其他人不同的關(guān)鍵因素。成功與情商的聯(lián)系非常密切，幾乎90%的成功人士都擁有超高的情商水平。

Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results.
情商是我們每個人內(nèi)在的某種無形的“東西”。它影響著我們?nèi)绾慰刂谱约旱男袨?，處理社交關(guān)系，以及為達到正面效果而做出的個人抉擇。

Despite the significance of EQ, its intangible nature makes it very difficult to know how much you have and what you can do to improve if you’re lacking. You can always take a scientifically validated test, such as the one that comes with the Emotional Intelligence 2.0?book.
除了情商的重要性之外，它的無形的本質(zhì)讓你無法判斷你的水平如何，以及你如何通過努力去彌補你所缺失的。你的確可以進行科學有效的情商測試，比如從Emotional Intelligence 2.0的書中可以得到結(jié)果。

Unfortunately, quality (scientifically valid) EQ tests aren’t free. So, I’ve analyzed the data from the million-plus people TalentSmart has tested in order to identify the behaviors that are the hallmarks of a high EQ. What follows are sure signs that you have a high EQ.
但不幸的是，情商的質(zhì)量（科學上有效）的測試都不是免費的。所以，筆者從數(shù)百萬的測試者中分析了一些數(shù)據(jù)，用以區(qū)分哪些行為屬于高情商。下面的這些跡象，如果你都擁有了，那么就證明你擁有了很高的情商。

1.You Have a Robust Emotional Vocabulary
1. 擁有豐富的情感詞匯。

All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur. Our research shows that only 36% of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions.
每個人都會有情感，但僅僅有很少一部分人能夠準確地描述出來。筆者的研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，只有36%的測試者能夠區(qū)分出來，這顯示了一個問題：一些不顯著的情感通常都被誤解了，這樣就會導致非理性的選擇和做出反效果的行為。

People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.
擁有高情商的人通常都能控制自己的情緒，因為他們理解這些情緒，并使用大量的情感詞匯來描述它們。當一般人把感覺簡單地描述為“感覺不好”，情商高的人能夠指出自己所感覺的是“煩躁的”，“沮喪的”，“壓抑的”或“不安的”。你所使用的詞匯越精細，你就能更深入地了解自己的情緒，產(chǎn)生這種情緒的原因，以及如何去處理這種情緒。

2.You’re Curious about People
2. 對人很感興趣。

It doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. The more you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.
無論你是外向者還是內(nèi)向者，情商高的人都對身邊的人很好奇。這種好奇心源自于同理心，一種達到高情商水平的重要表現(xiàn)。你越關(guān)心身邊的人以及他們的狀況，你對他們的好奇心就越強。

3.You Embrace Change
3. 接受改變。

Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and they form a plan of action should these changes occur.
情商高的人們通常都很靈活并能隨機應變。他們很清楚知道，害怕改變只會麻痹和威脅自己的成功和快樂。他們尋找潛伏在周圍的改變跡象，并能制定計劃以應對情況的改變。

4.You Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses
4. 了解自己的優(yōu)缺點。

Emotionally intelligent people don’t just understand emotions; they know what they’re good at and what they’re terrible at. They also know who pushes their buttons and the environments (both situations and people) that enable them to succeed. Having a high EQ means you know your strengths and you know how to lean into them and use them to your full advantage while keeping your weaknesses from holding you back.
高情商的人不只是情感細膩，還清楚了解自己所擅長的和不擅長的。他們也知道哪些人驅(qū)使他們以及周遭環(huán)境（地利，人和）讓他們獲得成功。擁有高情商意味著你了解自己的長處以及你知道如何充分利用它們，從而揚長避短。

5.You’re a Good Judge of Character
5. 善于識別性格特點。

Much of emotional intelligence comes down to social awareness; the ability to read other people, know what they’re about, and understand what they're going through. Over time, this skill makes you an exceptional judge of character. People are no mystery to you. You know what they’re all about and understand their motivations, even those that lie hidden beneath the surface.
大多數(shù)的情商因素都與社會意識有關(guān)，也就是能夠讀懂他人的心，了解他們的情況，揣摩他們的心理狀況。隨著時間的流逝，這項技能會讓你成為一名出類拔萃的性格裁判。你能讀透人們的心思。你理解他們的情況以及他們的動機，甚至那些隱藏在謊言背后的真相。

6.You Are Difficult to Offend
6. 不易動怒。

If you have a firm grasp of whom you are, it’s difficult for someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin. You may even poke fun at yourself or let other people make jokes about you because you are able to mentally draw the line between humor and degradation.
如果你能堅持自己的個性，那么無論別人說什么做什么都無法讓你抓狂。情商高的人都很有自信和心胸廣闊，所以多多少少有點厚臉皮。甚至你會自嘲或讓別人取笑你，因為你能夠很清晰地分辨幽默與諷刺的區(qū)別。

7.You Know How to Say No (to Yourself and Others).
7. 懂得拒絕（自己或他人）。

Emotional intelligence means knowing how to exert self-control. You delay gratification, and you avoid impulsive action. Research conducted at the University of California, San Francisco, shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Saying no is indeed a major self-control challenge for many people. “No” is a powerful word that you should not be afraid to wield. When it’s time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases such as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.
情商高意味著知道如何克制自己。你喜歡先苦后甜，拒絕沖動。在三藩市的加利福尼亞大學進行了一項調(diào)查發(fā)現(xiàn)，如果你對說“不”覺得越困難，那么你就會經(jīng)受更多的壓力，崩潰甚至沮喪。說“不”對于很多人來說的確是一項自控力的挑戰(zhàn)?！安弧笔且粋€多么強有力的詞匯，每個人都不應該害怕使用。當該是時候說“不”了，情商高的人都會避免使用諸如“我不覺得我可以”或“我不確定”這樣的說法。對新的承諾說不，其實能夠為你建立信用并為你提供機會更成功地履行承諾。

8.You Let Go of Mistake
8. 放下錯誤。

Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success.
情商高的人盡可能遠離錯誤，但不會把它們遺忘。與錯誤保持一個安全的距離，在需要引以為鑒的時候唾手可得，這樣就能夠隨時應對，調(diào)整自己，成就未來。

9.You Give and Expect Nothing in Return
9. 付出且不求回報。

When someone gives you something spontaneously, without expecting anything in return, this leaves a powerful impression. For example, you might have an interesting conversation with someone about a book, and when you see them again a month later, you show up with the book in hand. Emotionally intelligent people build strong relationships because they are constantly thinking about others.
當有人自愿給予你一點什么，并且不要求你的回報，這樣會給別人留下很深刻的印象。比如說，你可能跟某個人交流一本書籍，一個月后再次與他們會面，你就記得把書帶上了。情商高的人能夠與他人建立很好的人際關(guān)系，因為他們隨時隨地都在為他人著想。

10.You Don’t Hold Grudges
10. 不記仇。

The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your health.
記恨的負面情緒實際上是一種應激反應的表現(xiàn)。緊緊抓住仇怨意味著你緊緊抓住壓力，然而情商高的人們知道如何盡自己所能避免。放下哀怨不僅讓你感覺良好還會有助健康。

11.You Neutralize Toxic People
11. 中和負面情緒的人群。

Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. High EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their own emotions and don’t allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person’s standpoint and are able to find solutions and common ground. Even when things completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.
很多情況下與難相處的人打交道確實會讓自己身心疲憊。情商高的人能夠控制自己不與負面情緒的人群接觸。但當他們與這些人接觸時，他們就會理性地應對。他們能夠清楚自己的情緒并控制怒氣避免火上澆油。他們同時也會考慮難相處的人的立場并能夠找到折衷的解決方案。即使事情完全失控，高情商的人都能夠?qū)ω撁娴娜擞兴Ａ簦源朔乐箤Ψ阶屖虑楦愀狻?/div>

12.You Don’t Seek Perfection
12. 舍棄對完美的追求。

Emotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently instead of moving forward, excited about what you've achieved and what you will accomplish in the future.
高情商的人不會把完美作為自己的最終目標，因為他們很清楚完美是根本不可能的。人，因我們最原始的本質(zhì)，都是會犯錯的。如果你把完美計劃作為自己的目標，你就會永遠嘮嗑著失敗，就會讓你想放棄或減少付出。對失敗和別的做事方式進行檢討，而不是放下過去向前進，為自己所做到的事情而快樂，也不會為自己的將來有所打算，這會很多寶貴的時間。

13.You Appreciate What You Have
13. 珍惜目前所有。

Taking time to contemplate what you’re grateful for isn’t merely the right thing to do; it also improves your mood because it reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23%. Research conducted at the University of California, Davis, found that people who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experienced improved mood, energy, and physical well-being. It’s likely that lower levels of cortisol played a major role in this.
花點時間來反思自己所感恩的事情不僅是件好事情，還能夠讓你的心情變好，因為這能夠減少23%的壓力荷爾蒙。來自加州大學的學者Davis進行了一項研究，發(fā)現(xiàn)每天能夠培養(yǎng)感恩態(tài)度的人心情會更好，精力更充沛，身體更強壯。這與低水平的皮質(zhì)醇所發(fā)揮的作用是相當?shù)摹?/div>

14.You Disconnect
14. 適當與外界斷聯(lián)。

Taking regular time off the grid is a sign of a high EQ because it helps you to keep your stress under control and to live in the moment. When you make yourself available to your work 24/7, you expose yourself to a constant barrage of stressors. Forcing yourself offline and even—gulp!—turning off your phone gives your body and mind a break. Studies have shown that something as simple as an e-mail break can lower stress levels. Technology enables constant communication and the expectation that you should be available 24/7. It is extremely difficult to enjoy a stress-free moment outside of work when an e-mail that will change your train of thought and get you thinking about work can drop onto your phone at any moment.
找時間隔絕人群是高情商的表現(xiàn)，因為這能夠幫助你控制壓力并感受生活。當你每周每天都隨時待命，你就讓自己處于一個不斷受到壓力影響的環(huán)境。迫使自己斷絕聯(lián)系，甚至——啪！關(guān)上手機，給自己的身心一個休息的機會。研究發(fā)現(xiàn)一件簡單的小事情，比如發(fā)一封郵件的時間都可以幫助你減輕壓力?？萍甲屓藗冎g的聯(lián)系和期待維持隨時待命的狀態(tài)。這樣就很難讓人享受到工作以外的無壓力的時間，因為一封郵件就能控制你的思考，也讓你隨時都離不開手機。

15.You Limit Your Caffeine Intake
15. 控制咖啡因的攝取。

Drinking excessive amounts of caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline, and adrenaline is the source of the fight-or-flight response. The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response to ensure survival. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not so great when you’re responding to a curt e-mail. When caffeine puts your brain and body into this hyper-aroused state of stress, your emotions overrun your behavior. Caffeine’s long half-life ensures you stay this way as it takes its sweet time working its way out of your body. High-EQ individuals know that caffeine is trouble, and they don’t let it get the better of them.
攝取過量的咖啡因會促進腎上腺素的分泌，而腎上腺素就是讓人攻擊或逃避反應的激素來源。攻擊-逃避機制避開理性思考，而追求更快的反應以確保生存。在你被一只黑熊追逐的時候是很有效的，但是被簡單而粗暴的郵件追逐的時候，情況就不一樣了。當咖啡因促使你的頭腦和身體進入一個高度興奮的壓力狀態(tài)時，你的情緒就會大大超越你的行為?？Х纫虻拈L時效性讓你持續(xù)情緒高漲，久久無法平靜。高情商的人了解咖啡因是個潘多拉的寶盒，并不讓自己去接觸它。

16.You Get Enough Sleep
16. 保持充足的睡眠。

It’s difficult to overstate the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams) so that you wake up alert and clearheaded. High-EQ individuals know that their self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when they don’t get enough—or the right kind—of sleep. So, they make sleep a top priority.
實際上很難通過言語去夸大睡眠對提高情商和控制壓力的重要性。當你進入睡眠狀態(tài)，你的大腦再次充電，充滿著白天的記憶，并把它們儲存投射出來（也就是夢的來源），因此當你起床的時候就會頭腦清醒。高情商的人知道如果沒有足夠的睡眠，自控力，專注力和注意力都會降低。所以，他們把睡眠當作自己的首要事情。

17.You Stop Negative Self-Talk in Its Tracks
17. 停止自我否定。

The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that—thoughts, not facts. When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s natural tendency to perceive threats (inflating the frequency or severity of an event). Emotionally intelligent people separate their thoughts from the facts in order to escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive, new outlook.
你越反思負面的想法，你就越來越消極。大多數(shù)的負面想法都僅僅是想法而已，并不是事實。當你感覺到某些事情總是發(fā)生或從不發(fā)生，這僅僅是因為你的大腦主動接受威脅的自然趨勢（夸大事情的頻率和嚴重程度）。情商高的人能夠把想法和事實分離開來，以此脫離負面的惡性循環(huán)，走向積極的，全新的觀點。

18.You Won’t Let?Anyone?Limit Your Joy
18. 不讓他人影響自己的樂趣。

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.
當你的愉快和滿足感被他人的觀點影響了，你就不再能夠感受到樂趣了。高情商的人對自己所做的事情感覺良好，他們不會受別人的觀點或暗諷所影響。當你無法脫離別人對你的看法時，你也不必與他們比較，就可以遠離其他人的評頭論足了。因此，無論別人說了什么或做了什么，你的自我價值都只來源于自己的內(nèi)心。

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