考前熬夜那些不為人知的痛
作者:看東西
2015-05-23 10:59
10% battery left on my computer. Gulp. 0 words down, 2000 to go. Gulp. It is gone 12am (well, 12.32 to be precise) and I am in the library trying to write an essay for tomorrow morning on a topic I don’t particularly like without a power?cord. Everyone has gone to Camera Tuesdays (when did people start going out on Tuesdays?) and I am all-alone. Life’s a?bummer. Oh, and f***, I have a blog to write.
電腦電量?jī)H剩百分之十。有點(diǎn)憋屈得慌。我一個(gè)字兒也沒(méi)寫,還剩2000字。更加憋屈。已經(jīng)過(guò)了12點(diǎn)(呵呵,準(zhǔn)確地說(shuō)已經(jīng)12點(diǎn)32分),然而我卻仍在圖書館,試圖在黎明到來(lái)之前,為一個(gè)沒(méi)有什么感覺(jué)的話題扯一篇論文,還沒(méi)帶電源線。所有人都去參加Camera Tuesdays的活動(dòng)了(大家什么時(shí)候星期二就開始夜生活了?),然而我卻孑然一身注孤生。生活就是一個(gè)巨大的坑。矮油我**(此處消音),還要寫這篇專欄。
Perhaps the most depressing thing about the above is the fact that most students reading it would have little sympathy. They, after all, have been in far worse predicaments. They have worked until 3am before or have pulled an all-nighter. Working through the night is a commonly accepted fact for the sleep-deprived student who views them like a badge of honour, going around college boasting of how he pulled two all-nighters in a row. Oxonians, it seems, are night animals. This image fits into the whole work-hard, play-hard ethos Oxford seems to have going.
不過(guò)最讓人郁悶的還是,讀到這里時(shí)大多數(shù)學(xué)生對(duì)我的處境也許毫無(wú)憐憫之心。畢竟,大家都是一路被坑過(guò)來(lái)的。刷夜到3點(diǎn),或者干脆通宵。身為缺覺(jué)的“學(xué)僧”,熬夜學(xué)習(xí)已經(jīng)是不爭(zhēng)的事實(shí),廣為接受,甚至引以為豪,在校園里到處顯擺自己連續(xù)兩天通宵如何如何??磥?lái)牛津大學(xué)學(xué)生都是“熬夜大牛”,搭配牛津苦學(xué)瘋玩的校風(fēng)也是醉了。
Yet, there is a reason why so many students at Oxford feel burnt out after only 8 weeks of work: such a lifestyle is unhealthy. It fails on all three fronts – social, academic and sleep (obviously). Let us first tackle the social aspect. For most young people, night time forms the culmination of their daily social experience. (Unless you are a rower who has to get up at 5.30 in the morning in which case a) this article doesn’t apply to you as you manage your time far too well already and b) give up – there is more to life).? Why, therefore, would you want to eat into it by doing work, which you could have done in the daytime instead of Internet shopping? From my present personal experience, there is nothing more depressing than seeing all your friends have a good time whilst you needlessly slog away in the library.
然而,大多牛津?qū)W生撐了8周之后就如炙烤難耐,也就情有可原了:這樣的“夜生活”方式實(shí)在無(wú)益“繩命健康”。不僅在睡眠上(這個(gè)太明顯了),在社交和學(xué)習(xí)上都行不通。就讓我們先看看社交方面吧。對(duì)大多數(shù)年輕人來(lái)說(shuō),夜晚可是平日社交生活的巔峰時(shí)刻(除非你是個(gè)槳手,必須早上5點(diǎn)半起床【譯者注:英語(yǔ)文化認(rèn)為劃艇運(yùn)動(dòng)員早上5點(diǎn)半起床開始訓(xùn)練,平?;緵](méi)有什么社交生活】,那么第一,這篇文章對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)沒(méi)什么意義,因?yàn)槟阋呀?jīng)把時(shí)間利用的很好了,肯定不至于刷夜;第二,算了吧,何苦如此呢,生活還有更多精彩等著你)。既然如此,為什么你還要侵蝕自己大好的社交時(shí)光來(lái)刷夜學(xué)習(xí)呢,大白天的本來(lái)可以好好學(xué)習(xí),你為什么要在淘寶上逛來(lái)逛去呢?就拿我此刻的切身感受來(lái)說(shuō),眼睜睜看著朋友盡情地high,而自己在圖書館步履維艱地趕死線,最悲慘不過(guò)了。
In the academic world, such a lifestyle screws you over even more. After the bewitching hour, people stop to concentrate properly and what might have taken 20 minutes in a post-noon high now takes 2 hours in a post-midnight low. What is more, the bullshit you produce burning the midnight oil is not even good bullshit – it rarely makes sense, often lacks coherence and is littered with spelling errors. That lie you tell your bleary eyed self when you finally go to bed – you know the one where you kid yourself into thinking that you will carry out a meaningful edit of your masterpiece in the morning – is just that, a lie, and it requires a rare character to do anything more than correcting the odd misuse of the colon before sending it off in the morning.
再說(shuō)說(shuō)學(xué)習(xí)方面,刷夜更是百害而無(wú)一利。過(guò)了凌晨,大家就已經(jīng)不能夠正常集中精神了,也許正午過(guò)后能量滿格時(shí)20分鐘能夠解決的任務(wù),到了午夜之后需要2小時(shí)才能搞定。而且,午夜時(shí)分拼了老命扯出來(lái)的玩意兒,在廢話里都算不上一等——文章里很少有在理的言論,經(jīng)常邏輯不通,拼寫錯(cuò)誤還這一個(gè)那一個(gè)隨地都是。你對(duì)著那個(gè)睡眼朦朧最終爬向床鋪的自己許下的“諾言”——這個(gè)你應(yīng)該清楚,就是你騙自己說(shuō)早上醒來(lái)后還可以認(rèn)認(rèn)真真地把大作修改一番的那個(gè)——純屬扯淡,早上交作業(yè)前,除了改改幾個(gè)冒號(hào),得是多奇葩的人類才能做出更大改動(dòng)呢。
In some senses, this is a pointless blog post to write. Very few people mean to stay up all night, they just are forced into that situation through sheer laziness. I am not going to kid myself into thinking that what I have written will change anybody’s working patterns. Anyway, people who do manage to do all their work ridiculously early exist only to be antagonized as people we love to hate. I probably would not even take my own advice. However, if you take away one thing, take away this: much like getting hammered, essay crises are not things to be proud of.
說(shuō)來(lái)這篇博文沒(méi)有什么意義。很少很少的人是有意要熬夜通宵的,只是因?yàn)榘滋焯珣胁疟槐茻o(wú)奈到此田地。我也不會(huì)騙自己說(shuō)看了這篇文章的人都會(huì)痛改前非規(guī)律作息。但是無(wú)論如何,還是有那群什么工作都完成得巨尼瑪早的人類,存在的唯一目的就是拉仇恨。我可能自己甚至都不會(huì)接受自己建議的規(guī)范作息。但是,如果你真要什么建議的話,聽哥一句:就像喝得爛醉如泥不值得自喜,論文死線危機(jī)也不是什么引以為豪的事。
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