For the past 12 years I’ve avoided talking about one of the most obvious things about me. Something that is literally —well, almost — written on my face. My name is Evie, and I have acne.
過去的12年里，我一直避免談到我身上最為顯眼的一樣附屬物。那些東西，嗯，就像是被誰放大了鑲上畫框然后裱在我臉上一樣。我叫埃維，我臉上長了一片丘陵。

I decided to break the silence after I read multiple articles on how acne frequently leads to depression, and that this is “often independent of severity”. Despite living with acne, I’d never considered that my low mood over a breakout was something natural, I’d just thought it was how I dealt with it. In fact, acne has a significant, negative psychosocial effect, and we don’t talk about it because pointing out our flaws is the very last thing we want to do.
在接連讀了幾篇講述青春痘是如何助力通向抑郁之路（抑郁乃結果，且通常與粉刺的嚴重程度無關）的文章后，我決定打破沉默，寫下本文。雖然和青春痘相依為命了許多年，我卻從未因此覺得自己每次長痘時的陰郁心情是合情合理的，我只是天真地以為這便是我處理它們的方式。但事實上，粉刺的確會對我們的心理產生巨大的負面影響。我們不去說它，只是因為不想一次次地揭開傷疤。

Very few people realise what acne means. In all the media I’ve ever been subjected to, there has never been a protagonist with acne. If there is a character with acne at all, it’s an unsympathetic one, who is either submissive, mean, or both. There are no films about an acne-ridden girl who finds that she doesn’t need to be self-conscious but just has to ‘let herself shine’. All other ‘negative’ images are given support; whether you’re overweight, short, tall, nerdy, or even all-out Ugly Betty, there is a role model for you readily available. Because of this, people without acne often throw around the word “spotty” as a synonym for “young”, in a way no other negative attribute ever is.
鮮少有人意識到粉刺到底意味著什么。影視巨星和廣告模特都長著一張張與粉刺無關的臉。如果真有誰帶著粉刺上鏡，那也注定是個不討喜的角色，不是貧賤卑微就是鄙薄刻毒，抑或二者兼有。從未有一部電影會講述這樣一個故事：一個滿臉青春痘的女孩克服自卑，終于意識到自己不必在意別人的目光，而只需要在自己的世界里燦爛綻放。除了粉刺以外，所有其他的負面屬性都獲得了支持，都能夠在影視作品中輕易找到它們的主人，無論是肥胖如桶、矮小如凳、瘦高如桿、呆若木雞還是集齊所有丑點可以召喚神龍如丑女貝蒂（譯者注：電視劇形象）。因此，那些不長痘的人經常會把“滿臉痘”作為“年輕”的代名詞。普天之下，沒有其他哪種令人不愉快的屬性能夠得享此榮了。

There is no reason ever to be “proud to have acne” — but that doesn’t mean that a disease which affects 70-87% of teenagers and frequently continues into adulthood shouldn’t be talked about, especially amongst a student population that fits neatly into the affected age group. It’s not glamorous — we don’t get to be ‘curvy’, or cute, or intelligent, or strong. Acne is not ‘endearing’.
沒有理由為了滿臉痘痘而自豪。但這并不意味著這個困擾著70%到87%的青少年、甚至折磨他們至成年期的頑疾不應該得到人們的重視，特別是在它所盛行的學生群體中間。它一無是處——不能讓我們變得可愛迷人，也無法讓我們更加聰明強壯。這一臉青春之痘，只會徒增憂愁。

This isn’t a polemic, however. I’m mostly just trying to let you that it isn’t trivial - and you’re not weak or weird for letting it get to you. It might sound stupid, but in the same way, as a four year old, I wanted to be blonde and blue-eyed because Cinderella wasn’t Mediterranean, I spent my teenage years believing that anything that’s wrong with you can be overcome - unless you have acne. If a group of girls decided to adopt me into their social group and give me a make-over, it would never be perfect — because I had acne. If I found out I was the heiress to a small country and needed an image revamp, it wouldn’t work- because I had acne. The sudden, unexpected romance with the most popular guy in school would never happen — because no matter how great my body, or my hair, or my style was, I still had acne.
以上實非矯情。我只是想告訴你們，青春痘絕非小事，遭它入侵的你也并不是一個人。雖然聽起來很傻，但早在四歲的時候，我還是想象過自己有朝一日會變成擁有一頭金色秀發(fā)、兩汪如潭碧眼的美女子，或早或晚，我會蛻變成仙度瑞拉，而不是地中海女漢子。我用我的青春韶華幻想著我身上所有的不完美終會煙消云散，然而那一臉青春痘卻隨著青春的長驅直入愈發(fā)根深蒂固。如果有一群女孩子決定邀我一同玩耍，并打算為我化個妝時，她們會發(fā)現所有心血皆是徒勞——我的一臉痘會告訴你為什么。如果某一天，我解開了身世之謎，發(fā)現自己是某個小國的繼承人，需要重塑個人形象時，哦，那根本辦不到——我的一臉痘會告訴你為什么。那種和全校第一花樣美男墜入愛河的校園言情小說橋段從來不會在我的世界里上演，即便我的身材、我的長發(fā)、我的個人魅力是多么無懈可擊——我的一臉痘會告訴你為什么。

My experience was that I woke up an hour earlier than I needed to, in order to make sure I had time to deal with my face. I wouldn’t go out with friends when they invited me, unless I knew well in advance. I’d convince my mum I was sick so I didn’t have to go to school on bad days. These are all reflected in experiences others have told me as well. In my case, I even developed the beginnings of an eating disorder simply because, if I couldn’t have the perfect face, I’d be damned if I didn’t have the perfect body. Thankfully, I managed to escape that downward spiral early on. I’m sure there are many who didn’t.
于是乎，我的多年經驗就是，比正常人早起一個小時，以便能有充足的時間來處理我的面部問題。除非事先被通知，我從不會接受不期而至的邀約。在粉刺嚴重的時候，我會裝病來逃避上學。所有這些經歷，青春痘患者們都曾有過。我甚至還得過初期厭食癥，只是因為我覺得，如果已經不能擁有一張完美的臉，那我死都要擁有一副完美的身材。感謝上帝，我總算是阻止了這樣的惡性循環(huán)繼續(xù)發(fā)展，但我堅信有許多遭受相似折磨的同齡人們并沒有從這個恐怖的漩渦里走出來。

What I hope to have achieved from this article is to give to others what I gained from the pieces I read - a feeling that this daily annoyance isn’t just mine. That I’m not overreacting. That I’m not - forgive the trite turn of phrase - alone. It scarily confirmed that people are actually staring at my face and judging me but it also reminded me that at the end of the day, it’s not “acne-depression”.
我寫作此文的目的正是想向讀者們傳達我讀完那些“通向抑郁癥”之流的文章后的感受——我想告訴人們，這種日復一日的痛苦不是我的專屬；我并沒有反應過激；以及我并不是（請原諒這種陳腐的措辭）一個人在受著煎熬。在人們對著我的面部指點江山的時候，我的確抑郁過；但在一天結束之際，我會告訴自己，這種抑郁與我的痘痘無關。

Acne is a factor, which, like anything else, can lead to depression. Instead of letting it reach that stage, we should just change the first element.
粉刺，和其他任何因素一樣，都是抑郁癥的誘因。我們要做的，不是放任暫時的陰霾真的變成風暴，而是在云縫間、在自己心底灑上一縷陽光。