Those wondering exactly where they can find human breast milk soap, a live fox or a David 'Bickham' sex doll need look no further: China's answer to eBay stocks them all.
那些好奇哪里可以買到人類母乳皂、一只活生生的狐貍，或是大衛(wèi)“貝克漢姆”的仿真玩偶（請自行領(lǐng)會）再也不用找了！中國的eBay真是太！逆！天！了！

Taobao is a treasure-trove for those hunting for the unusual, eccentric or just plain worrying, boasting around 760million products for sale at any one time.
淘寶是為那些淘尋不同尋常的、稀奇古怪的，或是為自己買的東西甚為擔(dān)憂的人準(zhǔn)備的，時時刻刻在這里都能找到7億6000萬商品——真是一個地下寶庫的說！

The David Bickham sex doll is no doubt one of the more popular on offer on Tabao - although it has to be said, at 1.7 metres it is 13 centimetres shorter than its real-life inspiration.
大衛(wèi)·“比克漢姆”仿真玩偶（咳咳）毫無疑問是淘寶上的爆款。雖然據(jù)說這貨有1.7米高，但比真人矮了13厘米。

All the same, at ￡52.10 the pink shirted Mr Bickham could certainly be seen as a bargain - and the suppliers know it.
同時，52.1鎊的粉T貝克漢姆先生完全是個便宜貨——賣家心里跟明鏡似的~

Should one be in need of a boyfriend, Taobao has a few available to hire.
你們急需男友嘛？淘寶還可以出租噠。

Boyfriends for hire are increasingly popular in China, with demand rising thanks to the phenomenon of the 'leftover woman': a phrase to describe any woman who reaches her late-20s single.
租男友在中國現(xiàn)在超流行，因為“剩女”大行其道：剩女就是指那些快30了還沒嫁出去的妹子。

Many fake boyfriends are used by women sick of parents nagging them about not having other halves, so they take home a pretend one to appease them.
許多冒牌男友都是女性租了以后，回家應(yīng)付父母催婚的，所以帶假男友回家緩和一下父母的焦慮。

The fake boyfriend pictured below says he has a 'distinct look and a warm personality'. Services start at ￡54.30.
假男友照片底下注釋“相貌極佳，暖男一枚”。叫價54.3鎊起。

Fake girlfriends are also available on the website - although these ones are purely remote, like the WeChat Girlfriend.
虛擬女友也可以網(wǎng)租——雖然這些人就遠(yuǎn)多了，就像微信女友一樣。

WeChat is China's most popular smartphone messaging app, and for ￡2.06 a day the user will get at least 15 messages from their pretend princess.
微信是中國最受歡迎的手機(jī)短訊息app，每天2.06英鎊，用戶就能沒收到虛擬女友至少15條短信。

這些都遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)不夠勁爆，逆天還有各種——

英媒：請問這些真的適合家養(yǎng)嗎?。?！還有這只蜘蛛確定不是染的嗎！??！

英媒：聽說這本教你30天靈魂出竅的書才22便士，尼瑪簡直物超所值?。。?！

英媒：成龍鼻子同款擠洗手液器~里面擠出的洗手液顏色可以自選……ill（額）……

英媒：臥槽9.9鎊買一瓶屁！還尼瑪開瓶后持“臭”72小時逗我呢？！

英媒：傳說中的維密秀同款翅膀……傳說中的賣家秀和買家秀……節(jié)操呢？！?。?/strong>

英國網(wǎng)友紛紛好評如潮……已經(jīng)等不及全球直郵了——

@Morris Chaoser

How is it that have I just found out about this site! There are many items on there that will complete my life!!

我特么才找到這個網(wǎng)站?。?！上面可以買的東西讓我整個人生都完整了啊啊啊啊?。?！

@the speaking clock

Well this website is going to keep me entertained tonight.

呵呵這個網(wǎng)站能讓我樂一整晚！??

@Traycee

A fart in a bottle wtf lol!
（還能買到）一瓶屁?。?！什么鬼哈哈哈哈~

PS：I bought one of these and was highly disappointed. Smelled like eggs.
追加：我買了一瓶，差評！聞起來像雞蛋的說！??！