'Marriage feels different' says Angelina Jolie, who tied the knot after nine years with Brad Pitt.
與布拉德·皮特九年的愛情長跑之后,安吉麗娜·朱莉與他結(jié)婚了,她說:“婚姻給人的感受是不同的?!?/div>

Let's hope she means different in a good way.
我們希望她的意思是說比之前更好。

It might only be 'a bit of paper' but marriage can completely change the dynamics of a relationship - with good and disastrous consequences.
或許結(jié)婚就是領(lǐng)個證而已,但婚姻卻會完全改變一段戀情中二者的互動關(guān)系——其結(jié)果可能是好的,也可能是毀滅性的。

For lots of people, it makes the relationship feel safer and more secure and both people thrive. Other couples live together very happily for years, then split up, quite suddenly, the second they make things official.
對許多人來說,婚姻會讓戀人雙方感到更加安心,更穩(wěn)定,彼此都能更好的發(fā)展。另一些情侶卻可能在締結(jié)法律關(guān)系的頃刻之間彼此分離,即使他們已經(jīng)非常幸福的在一起數(shù)年之久。

How do you know which camp you'll fall in?
你怎么知道你的感情會向哪一邊發(fā)展?

I believe there are four main indicators of success: timing, parents, personality and the person you're choosing.
我相信成功的婚姻有四個主要指標:時間、父母、性格和你選擇的對象。

Timing:
時間

It's the stage not the age that's important. Some people have their hands out for the slippers and pipe when they're in their mid 20s, dreaming of a family roast on Sundays.
重要的不是年齡,而是心理階段。有些人一心夢想著在周末一家人一起燒烤的幸福場景,在二十四、五歲的時候就開始擔任家庭主婦、家庭主夫的角色了。

Others still aren't ready to tie themselves down in their 50s.
另一些人直到50歲之后才想要穩(wěn)定下來。

Marriage works best when both of you are confident that your future goals and aspirations are things you can do together.
當情侶雙方都充滿信心,能夠向著未來的目標和志向共同努力的時候,婚姻關(guān)系最為順利。

Your personality:
你的性格

Are you more attracted to excitement or contentment?
你更喜歡新鮮刺激的感受還是滿足愜意的感受?

If it's contentment, you're naturally suited to the fuzzy, secure domesticity of marriage.
如果你更喜歡滿足愜意的感受,你可能天性更適合于冗雜、穩(wěn)定的婚姻家庭生活。

But some personality types - drawn to drama and danger - often find marriage suffocating and restrictive.
但是具有某些性格特征的人——他們往往喜歡戲劇性和危險的事物——常常感到婚姻令人窒息,備受束縛。

One other point about personality though: while our core personality traits don't alter, age and life events do make us want different things.
不過關(guān)于性格還有一點值得注意的是:盡管我們的人格核心特征是不會變的,年齡和閱歷的增長確實會讓我們想要不同的東西。

You might lean heavily on the excitement side up till about 35 only to find contentment nudges its way up the list after that.
也許到35歲之前你都會完全傾向于享受新鮮刺激,35歲之后卻發(fā)現(xiàn)自己更想要獲得安逸愜意的生活。

Your parents:
你的父母

Study after study shows the likelihood of our marriages being successful or not depends heavily on the messages we got from our parent's relationship.
科學研究屢次證明,我們自身的婚姻成功與否與我們從父母的婚姻那里接受到的信息密切相關(guān)。

This works in mysterious ways.
兩者之間的關(guān)系頗為神秘。

If your parents had the ideal marriage you've learnt that marriage is a good thing and how to behave in a loving relationship.
如果你父母的婚姻非常理想,你就會認識到婚姻是一件好事,也知道在戀愛關(guān)系中如何對待對方,相互關(guān)愛。

On the flipside, if their marriage was fairytale perfect, your own can seem sadly lacking because your expectations are too high.
不過,另一方面看,如果他們的婚姻像童話一樣完美,你也可能由于對婚姻的期望過高,因而總感到自己的婚姻有所缺陷。

The person:
你的對象

Sometimes you can be perfectly matched on paper but find the actual relationship is like both trying to swim against the current.
有時候,你們覺得彼此應該非常默契,然而實際上兩人的關(guān)系卻如同逆水行舟,倍感艱難。

It should work but it doesn't and instead of bringing out the best in each other, you're constantly rubbing each other up the wrong way.
你們應該是默契的,然而卻事與愿違,你們沒有使對方獲得更好的發(fā)展,而是常常往錯誤的方向勉強對方。

Relationships are hard work, sure, but when you're with the right person they're a lot less hard work!
經(jīng)營感情確實不容易,但是如果你是和對的人在一起,其中的困難就會少很多!

You'll know when you've found someone you're high on compatibility and chemistry: you blend together easily and while there are sticking points and rows, the over-riding feeling is you're in the right place.
當你遇到一個與自己非常匹配,氣味相投的人的時候,你會知道的:你們很容易達成默契,盡管有些磕磕絆絆,你仍強烈的感受到你倆非常合適。

Don't go there, no matter how happy you are living together, unless you score 4/4.
無論你倆在一起多么開心,不要輕率結(jié)婚,除非你的感情在上述四個指標上都符合條件。