貢獻：國內大學英語考試輔導專家，恩波四六級核心教師。多年擔任四六級及考研閱卷組組長，具有豐富的考試輔導經驗。在教學上精益求精，激情洋溢，有高度的責任心，所教學生一次性過關率極高?，F已出版多部英語專著，“黃金模板”系列更居同類圖書榜首。在蘇、浙、滬等地多所大學主持英語四六級講座及授課，深受學生歡迎。恩波學校六級網站版主，第一位在網上為全國學生免費批改作文的老師，也是目前全國批改作文最多的老師。


貢獻范文精析之二 我是一個為寫作而癡狂的人！
這是第二篇作文了，早該貼出來了，我這學期真得很忙，沒辦法。本來想跟恩波提能否給我個人一個寫作版（包括范文精析、習作點評和寫作心得）與大家一起談論寫作，但關鍵是我保證不了時間，因我在學校主持十個博士寫作版之一就花了大量時間（因我的版上人最多，文章也最多，如果有同學喜歡，我可以貼點我在論壇上的作品，主題是relationship），還有許多其它的事，否則我真得會說，真得會多來這里。
我很喜歡John Wooden的一句話: Make each day your masterpiece. 送給大家。如果大家覺得有幫助的話請給點鼓勵。

Living with Parents in Canada

Directions:
Study the following table carefully and write an essay entitled “Living with Parents in Canada”.
In the essay you should
1) describe the table,
2) explain the patterns illustrated in the table, and
3) make comments.
You should write about 200 words neatly on ANSWER SHEET TWO.

Percent living with parents (Canada)
Unmarried Married
TOTAL Age 20-24 Age 25-29 Age 30-34 TOTAL Age 20-24 Age 25-29 Age 30-34
Women 47% 67% 36% 19% 3% 7% 4% 2%
Men 56% 74% 48% 32% 4% 9% 5% 3%
[原稿]
The table shows a clear pattern of the percentage of unmarried and married people living with their parents. First, unmarried people are more likely to live with their parents than married people at all ages. Second, men are more likely to live with their parents, no matter whether they are married or not.
Unmarried people not only include never-married, but also divorced, separated or widowed people. Without a partner at side or even having experienced what is heartbreaking, they are apt to feel lonely and somewhat be forgotten or deserted, so they often resort to coming back home to reunite with parents. The fact that men are more likely to stay home is probably because they occupy a relatively more important role in the society, women are in a sense clung to her husband’s clan.
When people are older, they become more mature and experienced. It’s more and more likely to take on the sense of independence, thus less and less possible to remain at home and refuse to leave. Yet the most abrupt contrast still lies in the two groups, showing that once married, it is nearly certain for the couple to stay together on their own, which signals a relatively independent society in which people can speak and act according to what they like to do.

[修改稿]
The table shows a clear pattern of the percentage of unmarried and married people living with their parents in Canada. First, unmarried people are more likely to live with their parents than married people at all ages. Second, men are more likely to live with their parents, no matter whether they are married or not. Third, when people grow older, they are less likely to do so.
Unmarried people not only include never-married, but also divorced, separated and widowed people. Without a partner at side or even having gone through heartbreaking experiences, they are apt to feel lonely and somewhat forgotten or deserted, so they often resort to coming back home to reunite with parents. The fact that men are more likely to be closely connected with their parents is probably because they occupy a relatively more important role in the society, and women, in a sense, cling to her husband’s clan.
When people are older, they become more mature and experienced. It’s more and more likely to take on the sense of independence, thus less and less possible to remain at home and refuse to leave. Yet the most abrupt contrast still lies in the two groups, showing that once married, it is nearly certain for the couple to stay together on their own, which signals a relatively independent society in which people can speak and act according to what they choose to.

[點評]
這又是一道相當典型的表格題。原文分為三段：第一段描述圖表，發(fā)現其中的規(guī)律；第二段做出解釋；第三段發(fā)表評論。
1． 第一段描述圖表，作者使用的句型很簡潔，但很有效?？上ё髡咧粚懗隽藘蓚€規(guī)律，而遺忘了或許是最簡單的一個——隨著年齡的增長，與父母同住的比例越來越小。實際上從后文可看出，作者對這一點很清楚，只是在這里疏忽了。
2． 第二段首先說沒有結婚的人——這些人不僅包括從未結過婚的人，還包括離婚者、分居者和喪偶者。他們內心更需要慰藉，所以與父母同住的比例高。這里有兩個詞組用得不錯——be apt to（易于）和resort to doing sth.（訴諸）。第二句中將“男人更愛與父母同住”說成“男人愛居家”不妥，為避免重復可改為“與父母有緊密的聯系”。而后說“女性在某種意義上說附屬于男人的家族”，在women前要加and，否則錯誤；in a sense顯得客觀，用得不錯；cling表示“依附”，是不及物動詞，應將be clung to改為cling to。
3． 最后一段分兩句。第一句說年齡越大獨立感就越強。第二句分析了一旦結婚，與父母分開住這種現象很多的原因。后面一句是長句，我們要學習的就是把有聯系的意群有條理地安排在復合句中。

[文后點評及六級考試預測]
我個人認為，九月的六級作文一出，六級作文在12月27日考圖表作文的可能性已非常之大了。但是與考研不同，六級作文不大可能在此次介入漫畫或照片，而是仍考察chart或table，且越來越向一些更高級的考試靠攏（不展開講，大家體會一下，且六級作文考試不必緊扣時事），所以今天特意選了一個更靠近9月而非6月的題目，請大家練習。
大家要熟悉圖表作文的結構安排和發(fā)展，把握圖表作文的內涵和本質，因為其實是相當有規(guī)律的。
出圖表作文在某種意義上是為了避免猜題——即使你猜中了文章主題，也未必能在第一部分中描述好圖表，而這一部分是不能缺少的。
關于圖表作文的結構規(guī)律，因我已經寫過，在此不再贅述了。
大家一定要多練習，最好獲得老師的指導和批改，這樣才能提高。原則上一個人的寫作水平一分鐘就可以看出來了。
祝大家成功！

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