I used to be so shy that speaking to girls made me break out in a sweat. It was so bad that if I as much as opened my mouth to say, “Hi,” my vocal pitch went up several octaves. As you can imagine, this didn’t exactly help me woo the ladies
過去的我非常害羞，跟女孩子說話我都緊張到冒汗。非常糟糕的是，如果我盡量多開口向女孩子打招呼，在“嗨！”這個詞的發(fā)音上，我的音調(diào)升高了好幾個八度?？梢韵胂?，這無助于我追求女士。

My troubles were a symptom of a common problem shared by many guys like you: I wasn’t confident in myself. Know the feeling? Let’s give your confidence (and dating life) a helpful shove in the right direction. This is how to ask a girl out and get a yes (almost) every time.
我的麻煩正如許多人分享出來的共同問題，可能你也遇到過：我對自己不夠自信，了解這種感覺嗎？讓我們在增強你的自信（以及你的約會生活）方面朝正確方向引導(dǎo)一下并助你一臂之力。

1. Ground Rules
基本規(guī)則

1) Your Posture Should Scream Confidence
擺正身姿增強自信

Most men guarantee a rejection before they even open their mouth because their appearance does not express confidence. Here are some simple cues to help you remember the do’s and don’ts of posture.
大部分男性甚至在開口約會之前就絕對會被拒，因為他們的外在姿勢表現(xiàn)得不夠自信。下面一些簡單的提示幫助你記住該擺的姿勢和不該擺的姿勢。

Do not: 不要

Stare at the ground? 低頭盯著地面看 Cross your legs/arms 胳膊/腿呈交叉姿勢

Slump your shoulders 肩部向下耷拉 Fidget 坐立不安

Do: 要

Keep your chin up 仰首挺胸 Gaze forward 目視前方

Shoulders down and back 肩部向后挺直 Chest high 挺胸收腹

When in doubt, think about how much space you are taking up. Is it a lot, or a little? If you’re not taking up much space, it’s possible you are curled up in a sad little ball (which just doesn’t make you look confident). Take up as much space with your body as you can to reflect that you are comfortable in your body.
對自己的姿勢不確定的時候，想想自己占了多大空間，占的空間大還是??？如果你占的空間不大，可能是你把自己縮成一團的狀態(tài)（讓你看起來顯得不夠自信）。你的身體盡量多占空間說明你的身體處于一種很舒服的狀態(tài).

2) The Clothes Make the Man
人靠衣裝馬靠鞍

No, you don’t have to be donned in a freshly tailored suit when you ask a girl out. But that doesn’t mean you should look like a slob either. Dress in whatever style fits your personality, but keep it classy. No wrinkled tees, dirty shoes, or other fashion disasters allowed. Don’t sweat the specifics, but whatever you do, dress like the handsome and polished fella you are.
不，你不必在與女孩約會時非得穿新的定制西裝，但也不要穿得像個懶漢。穿適合自己個性風(fēng)格的衣服又要保持優(yōu)雅的穿衣風(fēng)格。不能穿皺巴巴的T恤、臟兮兮的鞋子或其他毀掉時尚的衣服。不要刻意打扮，但無論你穿什么，都要把自己打扮得有英俊瀟灑小伙子的范兒。

2. Gauging Interest
衡量興趣

1) Engage Eye Contact
眼神接觸

If a coffeehouse cutie catches your eye, shoot a few harmless glances in her direction. Linger for a brief moment before turning your attention elsewhere, but don’t voyage beyond the five second mark unless you want to be labeled a creeper. If she returns your gaze with a smile, this is a good sign that the feeling might be mutual.
如果咖啡館美女吸引了你的眼球，朝她友好地瞄幾眼，停留片刻多看幾眼，但不要超出五秒，否則會被貼上一個大色狼的標(biāo)簽。如果她對你回眸一笑，這是個好兆頭，這種感覺可能是相互的。

2) Do Not Confuse Kindness with Attraction
善良和吸引力不要混為一談

Just because a woman smiles at or talks to you, does not mean she wants to take your friendship to the next level, so don’t get your hopes up without good reason. Not sure if a friend likes you or not? Ask her out and if she says, “What, like a date?” reply, “Yes!” without hesitation. Confidence is sexy (and even if she says, “No,” at least you’ll know for sure).
僅僅因為一位女性對你微笑或和你說話，并不代表她想要把你們的朋友關(guān)系發(fā)展到下一步，所以沒有充分的理由不要抱太大的希望。如果不確定人家喜不喜歡你，那你就可以約她出來，如果她說，“怎么，是約會的那種么？”你就不要猶豫回答：“是的！”自信是很性感的（即使她拒絕，至少你會得到確定性的答復(fù)）。

3. The Approach
方法很重要

1) Keep It Simple
盡量簡單

Don’t try to be funny and forget about impressing her. Women are attracted to men who are confident in their own skin, so bending over backwards in an attempt to “wow” a woman will probably just make her think you are trying too hard. Take a few deep breaths, think to yourself, “No big deal,” confidently walk up to her, and say, “Hi.” For bonus points, find something about her to compliment (maybe she has a neat tattoo, an expressive smile, or a witty t-shirt?).
別光顧著搞笑而忘了給她留下深刻印象。女性會被對自己外表自信的男士吸引，所以拼命去“追求”討好她，只會讓她認為你用力太猛。深呼吸對自己說：“沒什么大不了的，”自信地走向她并向她打招呼，找她身上的優(yōu)點去贊美一下（也許她有整潔的紋身、微笑的表情或是詼諧的T恤）。

2) Does Popping the Question Sound Terrifying?
提出邀約聽起來可怕嗎？

If you’re worried about appearing nervous, let’s make your approach as quick-and-painless as possible. March up to her and say something like, “Hello! I know this is a bit random, but I just wanted to say you caught my eye. I’m running late for a meeting/work/class/(you get the idea), but I’d love to get your phone number if that’s okay?”
如果你擔(dān)心自己表現(xiàn)出緊張的狀態(tài)，盡量給自己找個快速無痛的方法。接近她對她說些類似：“你好！我知道這樣有些唐突，但我只想說你吸引了我的眼球。我趕著去開會/工作/上課快遲到了（你懂的），但我想知道你的電話號碼，告訴我好嗎？”

4. The Big Night
約會之夜

1) Don’t Take a Sporty Woman to the Opera
不要帶一個愛運動的女人去看歌劇演出

Did she say yes? Sweet! Let’s get ready for your date. Do some homework before the Big Night arrives. Ask her about things like favorite movies, sports, musical genres, and hobbies. This way, you can disguise your detective work as small-talk and surprise her with a perfect night out that fits her interests.
她同意約會了嗎？不錯！讓我們準(zhǔn)備好開始約會吧。在約會之夜到來之前做做功課，問她關(guān)于諸如最喜歡的電影、最愛的體育項目、最愛聽的音樂流派以及興趣愛好。你可以用聊天的方式來掩飾你的“偵探”工作，根據(jù)她的興趣愛好趁約會之夜給她一個驚喜。

2) Are You Listening, Ogling, or Waiting for Your Turn to Speak?
你在傾聽？拋媚眼？還是在等著輪到你開口說話？

Keep your eyes on her eyes when she speaks, and REALLY listen to her! Listen actively, smiling and nodding in the appropriate places, and be ready with follow-up questions that show her how thoughtful you are. First impressions are huge, so don’t blow it.
她說話時要雙目對視。并且要真正傾聽她說話！積極傾聽說話內(nèi)容并適當(dāng)伴有微笑和點頭的動作，還要準(zhǔn)備隨后就談話內(nèi)容問問題，這表示你有多體貼她。第一印象很重要，所以你別搞砸了。

5. Post-Date
約會結(jié)束后

No Mind Games Allowed
不要玩猜心游戲

There is no “best time” to text or call after a date, so stop over-analyzing it. If she likes you, she will be more than happy to hear from you, no matter when that might be (Note: if the first date was a Grand Slam, you’d be wise to say, “Hi,” the following day and schedule a follow-up date ASAP because momentum is your friend). The only rule? Don’t be clingy. Confidence is hot, so keep calm and cool.
約會后沒有所謂的發(fā)短信或打電話的“最佳時間”，所以不要在這個問題上過度分析。如果她喜歡你，可能她無論什么時候聽到你的聲音都很開心（注意：如果第一次約會成功，你要聰明點主動給她發(fā)短信或打電話，趁著這個勢頭第二天或盡快再安排一次約會）。至于唯一的規(guī)則呢？就是不要太粘人就可以。對熱戀充滿信心，所以要保持沉著冷靜的態(tài)度。