When a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. Many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.
當(dāng)很多事都被擠到你30多歲的時(shí)候，就會(huì)有巨大壓力，在很短的時(shí)間內(nèi)快速啟動(dòng)一項(xiàng)事業(yè)，挑一個(gè)城市，找到伴侶，生兩三個(gè)孩子。這些事大多是不能同時(shí)完成的，正如研究表明，在30歲的時(shí)候要想工作生活一步到位，難度很高，壓力很大。

The post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car. It's realizing you can't have that career you now want. It's realizing you can't have that child you now want, or you can't give your child a sibling.
千禧年后的中年危機(jī)并不是一輛紅色跑車(chē)。而是意識(shí)到你不能擁有你想擁有的事業(yè)，意識(shí)到你不能擁有你想要的孩子，或者給你的孩子添個(gè)兄弟姐妹。

Too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, "What was I doing? What was I thinking?" I want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.
太多30多歲40多歲的人看看他們自己，看看我，坐在屋子里談?wù)撟约旱?0多歲，“我當(dāng)時(shí)都干么了？我當(dāng)時(shí)都想啥了？”我想改變現(xiàn)在20多歲人的所思所為。

Here's a story about how that can go. It's a story about a woman named Emma. At 25, Emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis. She said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment, but she hadn't decided yet, so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead.
這里我想講個(gè)故事說(shuō)明問(wèn)題。這個(gè)故事是關(guān)于名叫Emma一個(gè)女人。她25歲的時(shí)候走入我的辦公室，因?yàn)橛盟约旱脑?huà)說(shuō)，她有自我認(rèn)識(shí)危機(jī)。她說(shuō)她也許想從事關(guān)于藝術(shù)或者娛樂(lè)的工作，但是她還沒(méi)決定。所以取而代之的是她花了過(guò)去幾年的時(shí)間當(dāng)服務(wù)員。

Because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition. And as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder. She often cried in our sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, "You can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends."
為了減少開(kāi)銷(xiāo)，她和她的男朋友同居，一個(gè)脾氣暴躁而無(wú)志向的人。正如她悲慘的20多歲，她早年的生活更加悲慘。她經(jīng)常在談話(huà)過(guò)程中哭泣，努力鎮(zhèn)定下來(lái)后說(shuō)“你沒(méi)辦法選擇你的家庭，但是你可以選擇你的朋友?！?/div>

Well one day, Emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour. She'd just bought a new address book, and she'd spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words "In case of emergency, please call ... "
有一天，Emma走進(jìn)來(lái)，她雙手抱頭于膝蓋，然后抽泣了幾乎一個(gè)小時(shí)。她剛買(mǎi)了一個(gè)新的通訊錄本子，然后花了一整個(gè)早上的時(shí)間填寫(xiě)她的聯(lián)系人信息。當(dāng)她填到“萬(wàn)一發(fā)生緊急情況，請(qǐng)聯(lián)系...”的時(shí)候，她沒(méi)有任何人可填。

She was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, "Who's going to be there for me if I get in a car wreck? Who's going to take care of me if I have cancer?" Now in that moment, it took everything I had not to say, "I will."
她幾乎崩潰地看著我并說(shuō)，“如果我被車(chē)撞了，誰(shuí)會(huì)在那里？假如我得癌癥了，誰(shuí)會(huì)在那里？” 在那種情況下，我花了好大力氣才忍住說(shuō)“我會(huì)。”

But what Emma needed wasn't some therapist who really, really cared. Emma needed a better life, and I knew this was her chance. I had learned too much since I first worked with Alex to just sit there while Emma's defining decade went parading by.
Emma所需要的并不是理療師所真正關(guān)心的。她需要一個(gè)更好的生活，我知道這是她的機(jī)會(huì)。自Alex開(kāi)始，我從這份工作上學(xué)到了很多，不能只是坐在那里看著Emma十年黃金定型期白白消逝。

So over the next weeks and months, I told Emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.
所以接下去的幾個(gè)星期幾個(gè)月，我告訴Emma三件事，所有20多歲的男生女生都值得聽(tīng)一聽(tīng)。