5天內(nèi)超過60萬次瀏覽量的最新TED演講“二十歲一去不再來”激起了世界各地的熱烈討論，資深心理治療師 Meg Jay 分享給20多歲青年人的人生建議：（1）不要為你究竟是誰而煩惱，去賺那些說明你是誰的資本。（2）不要把自己封鎖在小圈子里。（3）記住你可以選擇自己的家庭。
Meg說：“第一，我常告訴二十多歲的男孩女孩，不要為你究竟是誰而煩惱，開始思考你可以是誰，并且去賺那些說明你是誰的資本?，F(xiàn)在就是最好的嘗試時機(jī)，不管是海外實(shí)習(xí)，還是創(chuàng)業(yè)，或者做公益。第二，年輕人經(jīng)常聚在一起，感情好到可以穿一條褲子?？墒巧鐣性S多機(jī)會是從遠(yuǎn)關(guān)系開始的，不要把自己封鎖在小圈子里，走出去你才會對自己的經(jīng)歷有更多的認(rèn)識。第三，記住你可以選擇自己的家庭。你的婚姻就是未來幾十年的家庭，就算你要到三十歲結(jié)婚，現(xiàn)在選擇和 什么樣的人交往也是至關(guān)重要的。簡而言之，二十歲是不能輕易揮霍的美好時光。”
這段關(guān)于20歲青年人如何看待人生的演講引起了許多TED粉絲的討論，來自TEDx組織團(tuán)隊(duì)的David Webber就說：Meg指出最重要的一點(diǎn)便是青年人需要及早意識到積累經(jīng)驗(yàn)和眼界，無論是20歲還是30歲，都是有利自己發(fā)展的重要事?！?/p>
When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first
psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.
記得見我第一位心理咨詢顧客時，我才20多歲。當(dāng)時我是Berkeley臨床心理學(xué)在讀博士生。我的第一位顧客是名叫Alex的女性，26歲。
Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big
slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an
arsonist for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle.
第一次見面Alex穿著牛仔褲和寬松上衣走進(jìn)來，她一下子栽進(jìn)我辦公室的沙發(fā)上，踢掉腳上的平底鞋，跟我說她想談?wù)勀猩膯栴}。當(dāng)時我聽到這個之后松了一口氣。因?yàn)槲彝瑢W(xué)的第一個顧客是縱火犯，而我的顧客卻是一個20出頭想談?wù)勀猩呐?。我覺得我可以搞定。
But I didn't handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.
但是我沒有搞定。Alex不斷地講有趣的事情，而我只能簡單地點(diǎn)頭認(rèn)同她所說的，很自然地就陷入了附和的狀態(tài)。
"Thirty's the new 20," Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right. Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.
Alex說：“30歲是一個新的20歲”。沒錯，我告訴她“你是對的”。工作還早，結(jié)婚還早，生孩子還早，甚至死亡也早著呢。像Alex和我這樣20多歲的人，什么都沒有但時間多的是。
But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life. I pushed back. I said, "Sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a
knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to marry the guy." And then my supervisor said, "Not yet, but she might marry the next one. Besides, the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one."
但不久之后，我的導(dǎo)師就要我向Alex的感情生活施壓。我反駁說：“當(dāng)然她現(xiàn)在正在和別人交往，她現(xiàn)在和一個傻瓜男生睡覺，但看樣子她不會和他結(jié)婚的?！?而我的導(dǎo)師說：“不著急，她也許會和下一個結(jié)婚。但修復(fù)Alex婚姻的最好時期是她還沒擁有婚姻的時期?！?/div>
That's what psychologists call an "Aha!" moment. That was the moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20. Yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn't make Alex's 20s a developmental downtime.
這就是心理學(xué)家說的“頓悟時刻”。正是那個時候我意識到，30歲不是一個新的20歲。的確，和以前的人相比，現(xiàn)在人們更晚才安定下來，但是這不代表Alex就能長期處于20多歲的狀態(tài)。
That made Alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it. That was when I realized that this sort of
benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.
更晚安定下來，應(yīng)該使Alex的20多歲成為發(fā)展的黃金時段，而我們卻坐在那里忽視這個發(fā)展的時機(jī)。從那時起我意識到這種善意的忽視確實(shí)是個問題，它不僅給Alex本身和她的感情生活帶來不良后果，而且影響到處20多歲的人的事業(yè)、家庭和未來。
There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now. We're talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.
現(xiàn)在在美國，20多歲的人有五千萬，也就是15%的人口，或者可以說所有人口，因?yàn)樗谐赡耆硕家?jīng)歷他們的20多歲。
Raise your hand if you're in your 20s. I really want to see some twentysomethings here. Oh, yay! Y'all's awesome. If you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, I want to see — Okay. Awesome, twentysomethings really matter.
如果你現(xiàn)在20多歲，請舉手。我很想看到有20多歲的人在這里。哦，很好。如果你和20多歲的人一起工作，你喜歡20多歲的人，你因?yàn)?0多歲的人輾轉(zhuǎn)難眠，我想看到你們。很棒，看來20多歲的人確實(shí)很受重視。
So I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.
因此我專門研究20多歲的人，因?yàn)槲覉?jiān)信這五千萬的20多歲的人，每一個人都應(yīng)該去了解那些心理學(xué)家、社會學(xué)家、神經(jīng)學(xué)家和生育專家已經(jīng)知道的事實(shí)：你的20多歲是極簡單卻極具變化的時期之一。你20多歲的時光決定了你的事業(yè)、愛情、幸福甚至整個世界。
This is not my opinion. These are the facts. We know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments take place by age 35. That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and "Aha!" moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s.
這不是我的看法。這些是事實(shí)。我們知道80%決定你生活的時刻發(fā)生在35歲之前。這就意味著你生活的重要決定、經(jīng)歷和突然的領(lǐng)悟，有八成是在你30多歲之前發(fā)生的。
People who are over 40, don't panic. This crowd is going to be fine, I think. We know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn. We know that more than half of Americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30.
那些超過40歲的朋友不要驚慌，我想這群人會沒事的。我們知道職業(yè)生涯的前10年對你將來的收入有重大影響。我們知道到了30歲的時候，超過半數(shù)的美國人會結(jié)婚或者和未來的另一半同居或者約會。
