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I recently asked 5 of the most successful couples I know for their best advice on how to create a fantastic love life.? I wanted to know what they’d done to keep their love alive for 100+ combined years of life together.
最近我問過身邊最幸福的五對情侶，到底如何才能讓愛情生活甜蜜長久。我想知道究竟他們?nèi)绾巫龅絻蓚€人在一起生活這么久，還能如此美滿幸福。

1. Ask For Praise
尋求贊美

Expecting your partner to notice things without prompting is often very unfair and can lead to resentment. Keep the beast away by speaking up and bringing attention to things you’d like your partner to notice. If you’ve done something you’d like your partner to take notice of, say something! Got your hair did? Say something! Fixed the dining room table so it doesn’t teeter? Say something!
要想你的另一半時時刻刻都注意到你的一切似乎有點不大么公平，反而會招來抱怨。所以不妨直接說出來你到底希望他注意哪些方面吧。如果你做了希望得到他注意的事情，就說出來！做頭發(fā)了？說出來！修了客廳搖搖晃晃的桌子？說出來！

You did this instinctively when you were a child. Remember running up to a parent or guardian and asking them to look at a picture you’d colored or cape you’d made out of an expensive tablecloth? For most of us, the response was one of amazement (if a bit contrived) and vocal appreciation for our obvious talents.
孩童時期你總是會自然而然的說出這些事?？偸翘嵝迅改富蚴抢蠋熆纯茨阍谝粔K昂貴的桌布上涂鴉？大多數(shù)時候，我們得到的都是驚嘆和贊美，畢竟這也算是天賦嘛。

You’re not so very different now. You still love to be praised when you’ve done well. Even if it’s something you should have done earlier in the week or missed a detail on. How to get that praise? Ask for it and agree to give it when your partner asks you for some appreciation. You know not to crush a child’s spirit by ignoring their efforts to impress you. Are you as smart about your partner?
你不需要變得和以前完全不一樣。只要做得好你還是可以渴望得到贊揚。哪怕有些事是你應該早點做的，或是被你忽視的一些細節(jié)。去尋求贊美，同時也在另一半找你尋求贊美時不吝嗇給予。你知道要去贊美小孩不打消他們的積極性。那么你對自己的另一半是不是也應該采取這樣聰明的做法呢？

2. In Everything, Give Thanks
每件事都別忘記說謝謝

Say “Thank You” and make an effort to regularly demonstrate your genuine gratefulness for all your partner does for you. There are going to be times when this will seem an impossible chore. Perhaps you’ll be furious with your partner over something or other. They’ll point out something they did, hoping for praise. How will you respond? Will you offer your praise and thanks then deal with your anger separately? Or will you close up like a shell and torture your partner with inconsolable silence?
常說“謝謝”，另一半為你做的每件事都值得你去真心感謝。可能有時候你會把這當成是不可能實現(xiàn)的日?，嵤拢只蛘咭驗榱硪话牒鲆暳四呈赂械缴鷼?，但此時他們說出來自己做了什么，正等到你的贊美，你會如何回復？你會先贊美一番，再來表達自己的不滿么？或者你就默不作聲，用冷暴力來折磨他？

You care about making your relationship work so I expect you’ll swallow your momentary pride and say thank you. After all, your partner deserves at least the same courtesy you’d give to a complete stranger. When you cannot be gracious, be polite. Make a habit of offering thanks to your partner, even for the tiniest of things, and a sapling of thankfulness will grow into something strong enough to support you both.
如果你真的在乎這段關系，我建議你還是先放下自己的自尊，對他說句謝謝。畢竟，這是連陌生人都會享受到的待遇。如果你無法做到溫柔，那就禮貌一點。習慣和另一半說謝謝，哪怕是非常非常小的事情，一點感激之情會轉(zhuǎn)化為兩人之間堅實的情感。

3.?Schedule?Time For Each Other
為對方安排時間

If you were worried about killing spontaneous romance by scheduling time with your partner, you wouldn’t be reading this. For the rest of us with busy lives and hectic schedules, an exhausting Wednesday is easier to handle knowing that Thursday at 6pm we get a few hours with our best friend
.
如果你擔心為對方安排時間會影響浪漫，那就不要讀這段了。對于大部分人來說，都是非常忙碌的，如果知道周四下午六點可以和好友見面，那么勞累的周三似乎也不是那么難度過了。

All that’s left is to actually be present with your partner during the focused time you have together. This, according to all voices heard in my less-than-scientific survey, is one of the hardest parts of any long-term relationship.
剩下來你要做的就是和他在一起時注意力集中。根據(jù)不是那么科學的調(diào)查些事，這是所有長期關系中最難做到的部分。

Dinner with kids at the table doesn’t count as real presence. Sitting on the couch while you both have laptops running in front of you doesn’t count either. In fact, most of the things we do as couples fall into the realm of proximity instead of true presence. A simple test (thanks, Debbie!) is to see if you need to get your partner’s attention before talking for them to hear what you say.
和孩子們在桌上吃飯不能算是真正的相處。兩個人坐在沙發(fā)上各抱著一個筆記本也不算。實際上，大部分時間我們做的事情都不屬于真正的相處。一個簡單的測試（感謝，Debbie?。┚涂梢钥纯丛谀阋笏犇阏f話前是否已經(jīng)得到了另一半的注意。

You’ll be tempted to use your regular time together as the time for you to angrily vent and argue. Don’t do it! This is your time to catch up with the person you love. If you can’t think of something wondrous and warm to say, chew on silence and just be. There’s something about focused presence with a loved one that helps troubles sink away just a bit. Make the most of your time together!
也許你還會把相處的時光變的充滿泄憤和爭辯。千萬別這么做！你是在和你愛的人相處。如果你想不到什么好玩溫暖的事情去說，那就沉默吧。專心和自己愛的人在一起能把煩惱都拋在腦后。好好利用你們在一起的時間吧！

4. Agree On How To Argue
制定爭吵規(guī)則

Sometime when you’re not even a little angry with each other, sit down and talk about how you fight. Then lay down some rules you both agree to follow during future arguments.
有的時候你對他真的是氣到發(fā)瘋了，那么不妨坐下來，好好想想到底為什么這樣。然后為以后可能出現(xiàn)的爭吵兩人一起制定一些規(guī)則吧。

Nobody leaves during an argument without saying where they’re going.Arguments that last longer than 3 days are obviously stupid and will not be allowed to continue.
任何人都不得在爭吵后不告而別。超過三天的爭吵都是愚蠢的，應該及時停止。

An argument will never mean that the relationship itself is in question. One of the most difficult but smartest things to say during an argument is, “I love you but I’m so pissed at you about/for/because [insert argument here].” Keeping the argument separate from the relationship status is key to getting things back on track. You could call it a shortcut through very dark woods.
爭吵并不意味著感情出現(xiàn)了問題。爭吵時最難也最聰明的做法就是說“我愛你，但是對于...我真的無力吐槽。” 把爭吵和感情分割開來就可以讓一切走向正常軌道。你也可以把這個稱為是黑森林中的捷徑吧。

5. Say You’re Sorry Every Day
5.每天都說對不起

Apologizing is a lot like learning a foreign language. The more you practice it in real-life situations, the better you become at it.
道歉不像學習外語。不是說你在在生活中練習的越多，你就不會再犯錯。

If you don’t do something worth saying sorry for every day, you’re either an angel or completely blind to your own inadequacy. You need not commit some great damage against your partner before saying you’re sorry. Just be yourself. In the course of being yourself you’ll say something without thinking, forget to pick up something from the store, or complain about your day without asking about your partner’s. You’re a master at making mistakes!
你不是天使也不是神人，不可能永遠都不犯錯。當然在說對不起之前，也不要把所有的過錯都堆在自己的身上。做你自己就好了。想想看你有時不假思索的說些什么，又或是忘記拿買好的東西或是只顧一味抱怨自己的生活忽視了對方的感受。看看你真是犯錯誤大師哦！

The more you ask for forgiveness, the easier it will be to admit to and gain forgiveness for all the things you do that might drive your partner away if not taken care of. Its never easy to swallow your pride and admit to screwing something up. But you need to do this and make a habit of it if you want to make your relationship the best it can possibly be.
如果你對這些小錯都視為理所當然，那么就更容易犯錯。如果不好好呵護，也許你的另一半就在這種無止境的寬容中漸漸遠走哦。放下自尊承認自己干砸了什么并不容易。但如果你真的在乎這段感情，那就這么做吧，并養(yǎng)成一種習慣。