In fact, there are certain behaviors that actually telegraph that you are not relationship material. Becoming aware of those behaviors, and getting rid of them, can be very powerful in changing the way that you are perceived.
事實上，你的一些行為表明你不是談戀愛的料兒。如果你意識到這些行為，改掉它們，那么別人會認為你發(fā)生了巨大的變化。

My 20 tough love reasons for why you don’t have a boyfriend:
我認為你沒有男朋友的20個原因：

1. You’re needy. You met him last weekend, he texted a few times, and now you just won’t leave the guy alone. This is probably the#1 behavior that gets girls labeled psycho in the early days.
你太需要關(guān)愛。你上周末才遇見他，他給你發(fā)過幾次短信，你就不想讓他獨自待著了，這可能是被人認為“不正?！钡念^號原因。

2. You like players. You can’t resist the bad boys, the ones who have dumped on other women. You think that you will be different, that nabbing a player will validate your feminine powers. But the player always wins, because the player always walks.
你喜歡花花公子。你無法拒絕那些甩過女朋友的壞男人。你覺得自己與眾不同，能捕獲花花公子的心說明自己有女人味。但是花花公子總是會贏，因為他們總是會離開。

3. You’re a princess. You want a man who will will worship the very ground you walk on. Do you really want a guy who will eagerly go to a bunch of chick flicks withyou? Wouldn’t you rather accompany him to Transformers from time to time?
你是一個公主。你想要一個拜倒在你腳下的男朋友。你真的想要一個總想和你一起看言情電影的男人嗎？為什么不在有空時和他一起去看看《變形金剛》呢。

4. You flirt too much. Flirting is an essential skill in any woman’s toolkit. It is meant to indicate to a guy thatyou are singling him out for special attention because you are attracted to him. If you flirt like crazy withevery Y chromosome you encounter, it loses its effectiveness, and makes you seem “not very choosy.”
你太愛調(diào)情。調(diào)情是女性的必殺技，用于你被某個男性吸引，想引起他注意的時候。如果你見到一個男性就和他調(diào)情，那么它就會失去作用，并且會讓你看起來“沒那么講究”。

5. You’re not in the game. If you’re shy, reserved, or aloof, you are not approachable. If you find a guy attractive, meet him halfway by signaling your interest with eye contact and a smile. If you know him, pay him some attention.
你沒有進入到角色中。如果你害羞、保守或和他人疏遠，那別人很難接近你。如果你覺得某一個人男性有吸引力，那你可以用眼神和微笑和他交流。如果你認識他，可以多注意一下他。

6. You’re too picky. You want a guy who is well-educated, financially successful, handsome, funny, witty, generous, blah blah blah. Get realistic. Keep an open mind when you’re sizing up men. Allow yourself to find the good.
你太挑剔了。你希望男友受過良好教育、富有、帥氣、幽默、聰明、大方等等?，F(xiàn)實點兒吧！當你對男性進行估量時，請保持開放的心態(tài)。找個不錯的就行了。

7. You’re a Girl Gone Wild. Stop getting drunk. No one, male or female, ever became more attractive when they got drunk . When you are drunk, you say and do foolish things.
你是個狂熱的女孩。別再醉酒了。無論是男是女，只要喝醉了，就沒什么吸引力。當你醉酒時，你會說會做一些愚蠢的事情。

8. You’re ditzy. I don’t know why some women love to get all girly and giggly. Isuppose it makes them feel sexier, a la Marilyn Monroe. If you’re with a guy who wants his women stupid, you need a new guy.
你表現(xiàn)得很愚蠢。我不知道為什么有些女性喜歡矯揉造作、咯咯傻笑。我猜她們這樣做是覺得自己很性感，就像瑪麗蓮-夢露一樣。如果你的男友想要和愚蠢的人在一起，那你還是重新找一個吧。

9. You’re a Mean Girl. Sometimes, guys want to get with mean girls because they’re powerful, but that relationship isn’t about love.
你是個壞女孩。有時，有些男性想和壞女孩在一起，因為他們很厲害，但是這種關(guān)系不是愛情。

10. You’re high maintenance. You always feel slighted. He’s always saying and doing the wrong thing.Your feelings are constantly hurt, and he is constantly apologizing. Fighting all the time can be rewarding in the short-term, but ultimately it’s a total boner-killer.
你很難哄。你總是覺得自己被忽略，他總是在說在做錯誤的事情；你總是感覺很受傷，而他一直在向你道歉?？偸浅臣茉诙唐趦?nèi)是有益的，但最終會令關(guān)系破裂。

11. You’re aggressive. You act like one of the guys. Male is biologically programmed to seek his complementary opposite – which includes a much larger dose of estrogen. You can be strong, independent, and very, very female.
你爭強好勝。你表現(xiàn)得就像男人一樣。從生理上講，男性天生就去尋找互補——擁有大量雌激素的女性。你其實可以既堅強獨立，又可以非常有女人味。

12. You’re self-absorbed. You talk about yourself all the time. You’re not emotionally engaged in a caring and generous way. If you’re not curious about him; if you are not hungry for details about who he is and what he’s into, then maybe he’s the wrong guy. Or maybe you’re the wrong girl.
你愛自我陶醉。你總是在談?wù)撟约?。從情感上講，你既不充滿愛心，也不慷慨大方。如果你對他并不好奇，如果你不渴望去了解他和他喜歡的事情，也許他不適合你?；蛘吣悴贿m合他。

13. You’re a homebody. You are not going througheach day looking to interact with and smile at attractive and approachable people. And by the way, get off the cell phone. The adorable guy behind you in line at Starbucks can’t say hi if you’re on your phone, plus he’s hearing you sound like a complete idiot with your BFF.
你是個宅女。你不出門，就沒法向有吸引力的人微笑、沒法和他們交流。另外，放下你的電話吧。如果你一直在打電話，在星巴克排隊時你后面那可愛的家伙就沒法給你打招呼了。 另外，你和最好朋友打電話時，他聽到你講的話會覺得你像個白癡。

14. You’re too hard to get. Yes, everyone likes a challenge. No one likes desperation. If he asks you out spontaneously for tonight, that’s a real invitation. If you are interested, accept.
你太難追了。是的，每個人都喜歡挑戰(zhàn)。但是沒人喜歡絕望。如果他主動邀你出去，那就是一次真正的邀請。如果你感興趣的話，就接受吧。

15. Your number is too high. You don’t have to tell anyone your personal data. Just be aware that when you’re making the rounds within a certain community or group of friends, word gets out fast.
你交往過的男友太多了。你的個人隱私不要告訴別人。當你在某一社區(qū)或一群朋友間交流拜訪時，一定要小心。這種消息傳得可快著呢。

16. You’re flaky. A plan is a commitment. Don’t blow someone off when something better comes along.Don’t ditch him because your friend “really needs you.” Don’t be late. Don’t get drunk . Women constantly complain that men aren’t reliable, but I’ve seen plenty of women flake out on guys.
你不太可靠。計劃就是承諾。不要因為有更好的事情而放別人的鴿子；不要因為你的朋友“真的很需要你 ” 就對他不告而別；不要遲到；不要醉酒。女性經(jīng)常抱怨男性不可靠，但我也見過很多對男性食言的女性。

17. You’re materialistic. You know what? The best dates are cheap dates. Cooking together. Hanging out. Taking a long walk.
你太貪圖享樂。你知道嗎？其實最好的約會費用都不高。你們可以一起做飯，一起出去玩，或來一次長距離散步。

18. You’re scared. You’ve been burned before. You are understandably wary. You’ve got to find a way forward. There is no love for any of us without considerable risk, so do what you need to do to work through it.
你感到害怕。你以前受過傷，謹慎是可以理解的，但你得找一個方法讓生活繼續(xù)。沒有風險就不會有愛情，所以做你該做的事情來克服它。

19. You’re rigid. Being rigid is largely about asserting control. That’s never a winning relationship tactic.
你很頑固。頑固主要是因為想擁有控制感，這種策略不會導致雙贏關(guān)系。

20. You’re a pushover. You put up with all kinds of crap. If you do not respect yourself, he certainly isn’t going to respect you, and your value in his eyes will tank.
你太容易被控制。 你忍受著各種不公平的待遇。如果你不尊重你自己，他當然也不會去尊重你， 你的價值在他眼里也會暴跌。