戀愛(ài)必修課：10種方法讓你忘掉分手的那個(gè)他

作者：yxflying 譯 2013-04-12 09:00

雙語(yǔ) 中文英語(yǔ)

Breakups suck (Bieber and Selena, we feel you.) But lots of times, they're for the best. (Repeat after us: It's for the best.) Susan Elliot, relationship counselor and author of Getting Past Your Breakup, and Caryn Beth Rosenthal and Maryjane Fahey, authors Dumped and founders of , have tips on moving on.

失戀的感覺(jué)糟透了（剛分手的小情侶比伯和瑟琳娜，我們懂你們的感受）。但是很多時(shí)候，分手其實(shí)也是一件好事。蘇珊-埃利奧特是戀愛(ài)關(guān)系顧問(wèn)，也是《讓失戀成為過(guò)去》的作者；貝絲-羅森塔爾和瑪麗安娜-費(fèi)伊是《分手》的作者和網(wǎng)站的創(chuàng)建者，她們一起給出了快速走出失戀痛苦的幾個(gè)小貼士。

1. Go Cold Turkey

戒掉和他之間的聯(lián)系

Staying in touch with him just keeps you stuck in the past, so at least in the beginning, break off all contact: Unfriend him, remove his name from Gchat, and delete him from your phone. If you have friends in common, take a temporary hiatus from them, too.

和他保持聯(lián)系只會(huì)讓你沉浸在過(guò)去，所以至少一開(kāi)始時(shí)和他解除所有的聯(lián)系：和他解除好友關(guān)系，把他的名字從Gchat聯(lián)系人列表上去掉，把他的信息從電話(huà)中刪除。如果你和他有共同的朋友，暫時(shí)也和他們斷開(kāi)聯(lián)系。

2. Travel Somewhere Fabulous

去美麗的地方旅游

Take a trip to a place that's the total opposite of where you live. So if you're in the city, head to a yoga retreat or spend the weekend at a spa in the country; if you're in a small town, party in Austin or Miami with your bestie. Travel not in your budget right now? At least hang out in a different part of town. When you're taking in a ton of new stimulation, you won't have a chance to wallow in the past.

去一個(gè)和你現(xiàn)在所住地方完全相反的地方旅行。所以如果你現(xiàn)在住在城里，那你可以去瑜伽靜養(yǎng)所或周末去鄉(xiāng)村做spa；如果你住在小城鎮(zhèn)里，那你可以和死黨去奧斯汀或邁阿密聚會(huì)去?，F(xiàn)在沒(méi)有預(yù)算去旅游？至少去城鎮(zhèn)中的另一個(gè)地方玩玩。如果你周?chē)教幎际切迈r的事物，你就不會(huì)有機(jī)會(huì)沉迷于過(guò)去了。

3. Eat More Salad

多吃點(diǎn)兒沙拉

The iconic post-breakup image is a girl in her sweats with a remote in one hand and a pint of Ben & Jerry's in the other. But even though you might feel like scarfing a dish of Cherry Garcia and vegging all day, you'll move on faster by eating healthy and amping up your workouts (a natural endorphin booster, btw). It's cheesy but true: When you feel terrific about how you look on the outside, you'll feel better on the inside too.

分手后的女孩標(biāo)志性形象是一手拿著遙控器，一手拿著一品脫的本＆杰里冰激凌。但即使你可能喜歡一天到晚吃櫻桃巧克力冰激凌和蔬菜，但健康飲食和加大運(yùn)動(dòng)量會(huì)讓你的動(dòng)作更靈敏。這句話(huà)雖有點(diǎn)兒俗氣但卻是真的：當(dāng)你對(duì)外表滿(mǎn)意的時(shí)候，你的內(nèi)心也會(huì)感覺(jué)良好。

4. Flaunt Your Body

秀出你的身材

Ditch the breakup comfort clothes (college sweatshirt, boxer shorts) and rock outfits that amplify your hotness, like stilettos, a mini, or red lipstick. Every stare you get equals a confidence jolt.Check yourself out in the mirror, and give yourself props for your sexiest features.

脫掉寬松舒適的衣服（大學(xué)的運(yùn)動(dòng)衫、平角短褲），穿上能讓你辣味十足的服裝，比如穿上細(xì)高跟鞋、迷你裙或涂上紅色的唇膏。每受到一次注目，你的自信心就會(huì)提高一次。照照鏡子，找出自己性感的地方，夸獎(jiǎng)一下自己。

5. Schedule a Massage

預(yù)約去做按摩

Getting pampering puts your focus back on you instead of the relationship. Plus, getting a facial or pedicure makes you feel and look fantastic.

享受一下舒服的全身護(hù)理，會(huì)讓你把注意力重新放到自己身上而不是放在感情上。另外，做個(gè)面部護(hù)理或修修腳會(huì)讓你感覺(jué)好極了，看起去也很棒。

6. Fake It 'Til You Make It

假裝忘掉他，直到你忘掉他

Trust us on this one. Even though you're not over him, act like you are…and it will eventually manifest. Force yourself to go to parties and flirt with other guys, and one day you'll realize you're not just pretending to have fun or playing along with the dude hitting on you-you're legitimately into it.

相信我們。即使你忘不了他，你的行為要讓人看起來(lái)你忘掉了他…...最終會(huì)成真的。強(qiáng)迫自己參加聚會(huì)，勾搭一下其他的男性朋友，有一天你會(huì)意識(shí)到你不是在假裝享受樂(lè)趣或和喜歡你的人一起玩——這樣做已經(jīng)名正言順了。

7. Make Yourself Busy

讓自己忙起來(lái)

One of the hardest things about breaking up is no longer having a permanent buddy to hang out with every night of the week. To fill the void, make more plans-organize a weekly happy hour with coworkers and brunch dates with your girls. Take on a new hobby, like wine and painting classes or volunteering to walk dogs at an animal shelter.

失戀時(shí)最難的事情是每天晚上不再有一個(gè)人一直和你待在一起。要想彌補(bǔ)這種空虛感，多做些計(jì)劃——和同事一起每周享受一次歡樂(lè)時(shí)光，和女性朋友們一起吃早午餐。找一個(gè)新的愛(ài)好，比如品酒、參加繪畫(huà)班或去動(dòng)物收容所做志愿者幫忙遛狗。

8. …But Also Let Yourself Cry …

但是也要允許自己大哭

Leave enough room in your sched for the occasional night when you stay home and process the loss of your relationship. Give yourself an hour or two to let it all out, because expressing your grief will help you heal. Just be sure to end things on a positive note, like enjoying a bubblebath or chick flick.

在你的日程表上留下足夠的時(shí)間，這樣偶爾一晚上，你可以待在家里處理失戀的感覺(jué)。給自己一兩個(gè)小時(shí)發(fā)泄一下，因?yàn)楸磉_(dá)悲傷可以幫你治愈。但是要注意用積極的事情結(jié)束，比如享受泡泡浴或看看肥皂劇。

9. De-Clutter Your Life

清理你的生活

Toss his toiletries, send clothes he left at your place back to him, and put any gifts or cards he gave you in a box in your closet (decide later whether you want to keep them; if you purge everything right away, you might regret it). Beyond ditching his stuff, shed clutter in general. Clearing out your place helps clear out your mind and make room for the new.

把他的洗浴用品都扔掉，把他留在你家里的衣服還給他，把他給你的禮物或卡片都放在柜子里的盒子里（以后再?zèng)Q定是否想保留它們；如果你現(xiàn)在就清理，你以后可能會(huì)后悔的）。除了清理他的東西外，也清理一下雜物。清理房間能幫助你清空大腦，為新的事物騰出空間。

10. Take Off Your Blinders

不要一葉障目

Many women either demonize or idolize their ex post-split. But if you only focus on what an a-hole he was, you'll get bitter. And if all you can remember is his amazing qualities, no other guy will be able to measure up. So take a relationship inventory: Make list of your ex's good and bad traits so you get a complete picture of him. Then remind yourself that the person you're ultimately supposed to be with is out there, and the longer you stay entrenched in your ex, the longer it'll take you to find him.

很多女性在分手之后要么把前任男友妖魔化要么就偶像化。但是如果你只關(guān)注他不好的方面，你會(huì)更加痛苦。如果你只能想起他有多么好，那沒(méi)有人能代替得了他。所以開(kāi)一張情感清單吧：把前任的優(yōu)點(diǎn)和缺點(diǎn)都列出來(lái)，這樣你能全面地了解他。然后提醒自己，適合你的那個(gè)人在等著你。你想前任的時(shí)間越長(zhǎng)，你就需要更長(zhǎng)的時(shí)間才能找到另一半。