There’s no question that charismatic people are some of the most successful individuals out there. Professor Wiseman at the University of Hertfordshire in the UK estimates charisma is 50% innate and 50% trained. The key ingredients of charisma are simple actions that, with practice, become a part of your personality and improve your interactions with everyone around you, increasing your overall satisfaction with life. Here are 7 qualities of charismatic people that you can incorporate into your life.
毫無(wú)疑問(wèn),你身邊有魅力的人都基本上都屬于最成功的人士。英國(guó)赫特福德郡大學(xué)懷斯曼教授證實(shí),魅力一半源于天生,一半來(lái)自后天。他們列舉了提升魅力值的行為,通過(guò)練習(xí),使這些行為融入到性格里,來(lái)提升與周?chē)私浑H的能力,從而提高你整體的魅力值。下面是提升魅力的七個(gè)好習(xí)慣。

1. Listen Actively
做一個(gè)積極的聽(tīng)眾

When you listen, give them your undivided attention and ask questions. Do NOT check your phone more than once in a conversation – better yet, don’t check it at all! A study by the University of Colorado found that active listening helps avoid misunderstandings and opens people up to get them to say more. Actively listening will improve communication with those around you, whether you’re working with them or living with them. People tend to remember good listeners as positive people.
當(dāng)你是個(gè)聽(tīng)眾時(shí),一定要全神貫注,別忘了問(wèn)點(diǎn)問(wèn)題。不要在談話(huà)過(guò)程中超過(guò)一次查看手機(jī)——最好的是,壓根就不要看手機(jī)!科羅拉多大學(xué)的研究表明,做一名積極的聽(tīng)眾可以避免誤會(huì),同時(shí)使說(shuō)話(huà)人說(shuō)得更多,增強(qiáng)你與周?chē)说穆?lián)系,不管是同事或是室友。人們總是能會(huì)把好的聽(tīng)眾看成積極正面的人。

2. Speak Clearly
語(yǔ)言表達(dá)清晰

Take your time and think about each sentence. The more you speak with unnecessary filler, the less clear you are. Especially when speaking to more than one person at once, or to a new group of people, practice your approach beforehand. Am I saying everything I need to say? Is everything I’m saying necessary? Is there a clear objective and purpose to what I am saying?
花點(diǎn)時(shí)間想想你要說(shuō)的每句話(huà)。你說(shuō)的廢話(huà)越多,語(yǔ)言表達(dá)就越不清晰。尤其是在和不止一個(gè)人或一群人對(duì)話(huà)時(shí),一定要先練習(xí)一下你的說(shuō)話(huà)技巧。我說(shuō)的都面面俱到了嗎?我說(shuō)的都是有必要說(shuō)的嘛?我說(shuō)的這些話(huà)里有明確的主題思想嗎?

3. Smile from Within
發(fā)自?xún)?nèi)心的微笑

A genuine smile from within shows on the outside: you smile with your eyes and mouth. Not to say you have to walk around with a grin all the time! But when you smile on the inside, people are more receptive when you approach them. The women with a Duchenne smile were more likely to be married and stay married than those who had a fake smile, and were more likely to experience greater sense of personal well-being. When you smile from the heart and follow up with a kind personality, you will get more and give more to the world than you ever thought possible.
真正的微笑是從內(nèi)到外散發(fā)出來(lái)的:你的眼睛和嘴都在笑。這不是說(shuō)你要一直咧著嘴笑!而是當(dāng)你微笑的時(shí)候,要發(fā)自?xún)?nèi)心,這樣人們才更能接受你。相對(duì)于比起經(jīng)常假笑的人,有著杜鄉(xiāng)式真正微笑的女人更容易嫁出去,婚姻也可以保持更久,還更能體驗(yàn)到一種獨(dú)屬于自己的幸福。當(dāng)你發(fā)自?xún)?nèi)心的微笑,你會(huì)向外界給予更多,同時(shí)也得到更多,這會(huì)完全超乎你的想象哦。

4. Stand Up Tall
站直點(diǎn)

Imagine there’s a string running from your navel, through your head and up into the ceiling. It’s an old dancer’s trick, and works for the rest of us to maintain great posture throughout the day. Good posture makes you appear secure and confident; if you’re not feeling that confident today, fake it until you make it! Remember to keep your shoulders down.
想象一下,從你的頭沿著背部到天花板,一直有根棍子在支撐著。這是舞者訓(xùn)練的老方法,也可以幫助我們來(lái)糾正自己的站姿。好的站姿讓你更加自信,如果今天感覺(jué)底氣不足,那么就站直了直到你成功!當(dāng)然千萬(wàn)不要聳肩哦。

5. Spread Praise & Phrase
不吝惜贊美

Ever hear “it’s not what you say, but how you say it?” If you have to critique someone, before you do, think of how you would want to be critiqued. Be direct and address the problem at hand, propose a solution, get feedback and establish a timeframe. At the same time, give credit & compliments where they are due. Building confidence in yourself is important, but being able to build confidence in others – that’s charisma.
聽(tīng)沒(méi)聽(tīng)過(guò)“你說(shuō)什么不重要,重要的是你用什么方式說(shuō)”這句話(huà)?所以當(dāng)你批評(píng)什么人之前,想象你自己是否能接受這樣的批評(píng)。你應(yīng)該事先直接指出問(wèn)題,提出解決方案,給予一定的回饋然后確定一個(gè)時(shí)間表。同時(shí)要不斷給予他們信心和贊美。自信很重要,但是給予別人信心——這就是魅力所在了。

6. Remember Names
記住別人的名字

A legendarily successful writer known as “Mr. Charisma” himself, once said that “a person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” It’s simple but effective. When you first learn someone’s name, repeat it back to them by saying “Hi Amanda” or “It’s a pleasure to meet you Amanda.” Also use their name when you end the conversation, it’ll help immensely. You can also visualize the person’s name on their forehead, or associate that person’s name with a facial feature, like “Joe’s Eyebrows.” If all else fails, after meeting someone new, type their name into your phone with a short descriptive word.
被稱(chēng)為“魅力先生”的傳奇成功作家戴爾卡耐基曾說(shuō)過(guò):“無(wú)論在什么語(yǔ)言中,對(duì)于一個(gè)人來(lái)說(shuō),他的名字永遠(yuǎn)是最好聽(tīng)和最重要的?!?這個(gè)道理很簡(jiǎn)單,但也很有用。當(dāng)你第一次知道別人的名字,就立即重復(fù)他們的名字給予反饋,比如說(shuō)“你好,阿曼達(dá)”,或者“認(rèn)識(shí)你真高興,阿曼達(dá)?!?同時(shí),在結(jié)束對(duì)話(huà)時(shí)也要提及對(duì)方的名字,這會(huì)幫大忙。你也可以用名字形容他們的長(zhǎng)相或者他們的面部表情。比如 “喬的眉毛”。如果這都不管用,在認(rèn)識(shí)新朋友之后,把他們的名字簡(jiǎn)寫(xiě)存進(jìn)你的手機(jī)里。

7. Eye Contact
眼神交流

Make eye contact while a person is talking to you, and while you are speaking to them. Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of communication – it allows you to really see if your message is getting through. It keeps the other person focused on you, and keeps you focused on their words and meaning. If you’re making a presentation or speech, make eye contact once with as many people in the room as possible. It will make the whole event feel much more personal to your audience.
和別人和交流的時(shí)候別忘了眼神交流。眼神交流是交際里的重要部分——可以讓你明確信息是否已經(jīng)被傳遞。也讓其他人把焦點(diǎn)集中在你身上,還可以讓你去集中精力理解他們的話(huà)語(yǔ)和含義。如果你在準(zhǔn)備一個(gè)演講或講演,盡量和室內(nèi)的人進(jìn)行眼神交流。這會(huì)讓你的聽(tīng)眾與你的距離拉近。?