1.Leonard, these rental tuxedos have been worn by hundreds of sweaty strangers. I don’t like my own sweat touching my skin. How do you think I feel about theirs?
萊納德，這些租賃的禮服早已被上百個滿身臭汗的陌生人穿過。我連沾到自己的汗都討厭，陌生人的汗不是更要命嗎？

2.I must say I was surprised that you chose to spend our date night in the apartment. As I mentioned, the Pasadena City Council is debating longer crosswalk times, and later the Lego store is having a Midnight Madness sale. You ask anyone: that’s a hot date.
我不得不說我真沒想到你會選擇在家里度過我們的約會之夜。正如我提到的，帕薩迪納市議會正在辯論加長行人過馬路的時間，而且樂高專賣店午夜還會舉行瘋狂大甩賣。任誰都覺得那樣的約會更血脈噴張。

3.I love Strawberry Quik! It’s my favorite pink fluid, narrowly beating out Pepto Bismol.
我超愛草莓速溶奶！我最喜歡的粉色液體，比佩托比斯摩（粉色液體胃藥）略勝一籌。

4.Remarkable. In just under a half hour, two hundred metric tons of fuel will ignite in a controlled explosion right beneath Howard’s keister. And all from a country whose entire contribution to the global economy is Tetris and mail order brides.
太震撼了。在半小時后，霍華德屁股的正下方將有兩百公噸燃料被定時爆炸裝置點燃。全都由一個對世界經(jīng)濟的唯一貢獻只有俄羅斯方塊和郵購新娘的國度所準備。

5.This comic book in this condition is worth at least $100. I bought you and Bernadette a gravy boat worth $88. Which places me in your debt, and I can’t be in your debt, because someday you may ask me to help you to move, or kill a man.
狀態(tài)良好的這本漫畫現(xiàn)在至少值100塊錢呢。我送給你和貝納黛特的船行調(diào)味壺才88塊。這樣就變成我欠你的了，而我不想欠你，因為哪天你可能會讓我?guī)兔Π峒?，或幫你去殺人?/div>

6.The need to find another human being to share one’s life with has always puzzled me. Maybe because I’m so interesting all by myself. With that being said, may you find as much happiness with each other as I find on my own.
人窮盡一生追尋另一個人類共度一生的事，我一直無法理解?；蛟S我自己太有意思，無需他人陪伴。所以，我祝福你們在對方身上得到的快樂與我給自己的一樣多。