1.She's my guest. If anyone should offer her anything, it should be me. Elizabeth, can I get you something? Perhaps a feminine hygiene product, or a bowel regulating yogurt?
她是我的客人。要招待她的話也該由我來(lái)吧。伊麗莎白，我能為你效勞嗎？你想要女性衛(wèi)生用品還是調(diào)節(jié)腸道的酸奶？

2.Oh, Penny. This is Dr. Plimpton, a leading expert on quantum cosmology. Dr. Plimpton, Penny is a waitress who doesn't understand the role gasoline plays in an internal combustion engine.
佩妮，這位是普林頓博士，量子宇宙論權(quán)威專家。普林頓博士，這是佩妮，一名不理解內(nèi)燃機(jī)需要汽油做燃料的服務(wù)生。

3.Roommates agree that Friday nights will be reserved for watching Joss Whedon's brilliant new series, Firefly.
室友同意在每周五晚上觀看喬斯.威登最新導(dǎo)演的驚世力作《螢火蟲》。

4.The apartment flag is gold lion rampant on a field of azure.
公寓旗幟是一頭在天藍(lán)色背景下兩腿站立的獅子。

5.I'm here because you violated our roommate agreement, specifically Section Eight, 'Visitors', sub-section C, 'Females', Paragraph 4, 'Coitus'. Roommates shall give each other twelve hours' notice of impending coitus.
我來(lái)是因?yàn)槟氵`反了我們的室友協(xié)議，確切來(lái)說(shuō)是第八部分“賓客”里的c小部分“女性”里的第四段“交媾”。在進(jìn)行交媾之前，室友需要提前12小時(shí)通知對(duì)方。

6.I assure you, you'll be sorry you wasted your money on an iPod, when Microsoft comes out with theirs.
等到微軟出了自己的播放器，到時(shí)你就等著后悔吧，把錢浪費(fèi)在一文不值的蘋果機(jī)上。

7.Yes, in 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung," his fondest hope was that the resulting device be "bitchin'.
1917年，當(dāng)愛(ài)因斯坦在他的文章《關(guān)于輻射的量子理論》中闡述了激光的理論基礎(chǔ)時(shí)，他最誠(chéng)摯的希望就是最終的儀器和很他媽的帥。

8.When one gets beaten up every other day in school, one of necessity develops a keen sense of hearing. Incidentally, one can get beaten up in school simply by referring to oneself as "one."
隔天就在學(xué)校挨揍的某人必然會(huì)進(jìn)化出更敏銳的聽覺(jué)。而且在學(xué)校挨揍的某人通常都把自己稱為“某人”。

9.It’s a time of day I invented. It better defines the ambiguous period between afternoon and evening: prevening. Fairly certain it will catch on, as it fills a desperate need.
是我發(fā)明的描述時(shí)間的方式，更好地定義了個(gè)模棱兩可的時(shí)段，下午和晚上之間，就是傍晚。我確信因?yàn)榧毙杈_描述，這詞定會(huì)廣為流傳。

10.In a few minutes, when I gloat over the failure of this enterprise, how would you prefer I do it? The standard "I told you so" with a classic "neener-neener"? Or just my normal look of haughty derision?
在幾分鐘后，等我幸災(zāi)樂(lè)禍地冷眼旁觀著本次相親的失敗，你們更愿意我怎么做？是標(biāo)準(zhǔn)答案，“我早說(shuō)過(guò)會(huì)這樣”？還是經(jīng)典的“哦也哦也”？還是用我平常那副高傲嘲弄的表情？