1.Oh, I don’t want to know that! How can I possibly discuss with Stan Lee the scientific foundation for interstellar flight on a silver surfboard when part of my brain will be scanning his face for signs of a contagious skin disease?
你告訴我這些干嘛啊你。這下好了，我怎么可能一邊和斯坦.李討論用銀質(zhì)沖浪板來(lái)星際飛行的科學(xué)依據(jù)，一邊逐行掃描他的臉以尋找皮膚傳染病的蛛絲馬跡。

2.I don’t trust banks. I believe that when the robots rise up, ATM’s will lead the charge.
鬼才相信銀行。我堅(jiān)信如果有一天機(jī)器人奮起反抗了，自動(dòng)取款機(jī)肯定是起義軍領(lǐng)袖。

3.I would point out that I am at the top of my profession, while you preside over the kiddy table of yours.
提醒你一下，我可是業(yè)內(nèi)頂尖人士，你卻坐在桌子后面過(guò)家家。

4.You boys may have had gelato with Stan Lee and gotten autographed comics, but I saw the inside of his house and got an autographed application for a restraining order.
你們或許跟斯坦..李一起吃了冰欺凌，還得了他親筆簽名的漫畫(huà)，我可是親自進(jìn)了他家還得到了他親筆簽名的禁制令申請(qǐng)狀。

5.Technically, magic beans would be food. Although eating them would be quite a waste since you plant them and overnight have a giant beanstalk, which would provide enough roughage for a small city.
嚴(yán)格來(lái)說(shuō)，魔豆也是食物。雖然吃了他們怪浪費(fèi)的，因?yàn)槟憧梢苑N植它們?nèi)缓笠灰怪g就會(huì)長(zhǎng)成一株巨大的豆莖，足夠一個(gè)小城市吃的。

6.I have a twin sister whose assaults begin in utero. If only I’d had the presence of mind to reabsorb her then I’d have a mole with hair on it instead of a tedious yearly Christmas letter.
在子宮里我那胞姐就開(kāi)始欺負(fù)我。如果當(dāng)年我能一直堅(jiān)定地吸收掉她，我也就多了一顆長(zhǎng)毛的痣，這樣也不會(huì)收到那些無(wú)聊的圣誕賀卡了。

7.I have no illusions about my mother, She’s a kind, loving, religiously fanatical, right wing Texan, with a slightly out of scale head and a mild Dr. Pepper addiction.
我又沒(méi)有戀母情結(jié)，她就一個(gè)和藹可親、篤信上帝、極端右翼的德州人，頭長(zhǎng)得有點(diǎn)不合比例，還對(duì)佩珀汽水有點(diǎn)上癮。

8.I’m the William Shatner of theoretical physics.
我就是理論物理界的威廉.夏特納。

9.Oh, no. A Godzilla-like monster is approaching the city. I have to get my people to safety. “People of Sheldonopolis, this is your mayor. Follow me. If the children can’t run, leave them behind!” Oh, the simulated horror!
不會(huì)吧。一個(gè)類似哥斯拉的怪物正在接近城市。我得把我的市民轉(zhuǎn)移到安全區(qū)?！爸x爾頓奧波利斯的市民們，我是你們的市長(zhǎng)。跟著我。小孩子要是跑不了就別管他們了?！迸哆蠇屟?，模擬恐怖效果賊棒！

10.If it will help speed things along my answers to the standard Rorschach ink blot tests are: A – a bat. B – a bat. C – a bat. And D – my father killing my mother with a hypodermic needle.
我補(bǔ)充一點(diǎn)可能會(huì)有所幫助，我做標(biāo)準(zhǔn)羅夏磨嘰測(cè)驗(yàn)的結(jié)果是：圖A蝙蝠，圖B蝙蝠，圖C蝙蝠，圖D我爸想用皮下注射器殺死我媽。

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