只有其意,不見(jiàn)其形
一篇好的文章不但內(nèi)容豐富有條理,句子結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊清楚,遣詞用字更是恰到好處,引人入勝。即使不能達(dá)到這樣理想的境界,至少也要思路清晰、文字正確。
下面四段出處不同的文字乖離了英語(yǔ)句法標(biāo)準(zhǔn),必須更正。
先看第一段文字:
“Fifteen years teaching experienced qualified full time tutor - Available for all levels Chinese subjects.”
這段文字雖然措詞凌亂,但是并不難理解講的是什么;真的是“ 只有其意,不見(jiàn)其形”或是“有意無(wú)形”。稍微分析一下,不難斷定問(wèn)題所在。
㈠ 構(gòu)詞法不對(duì):fifteen years→fifteen years of /15-year ;all levels→all levels of. ㈡ 名詞形式不對(duì):experienced→ experience. ㈢ 標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)被忽略:full time→full-time.
修改后的句子合乎語(yǔ)法,但全句并不自然,要改寫如下:
A qualified full-time tutor with 15 years of teaching experience is available for all levels of Chinese.
再看第二段文字:
“All materials are good quality with latest design and guaranteed.”
這段話的錯(cuò)誤如下:
㈠ 形容詞詞組不對(duì):good quality→of good quality. ㈡ 定冠詞被忽略:with latest design→with the latest design. ㈢被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)中的接系動(dòng)詞不在場(chǎng):guaranteed→are guaranteed.
修正后的句子既正確又易解,但可以使它從“對(duì)”變“好”,如下:
All materials are of good quality, with the latest design and under permanent guarantee.
這里三個(gè)形容詞詞組,一個(gè)接一個(gè),緊緊扣住,符合對(duì)句法( parallelism)中每個(gè)成分平衡的原理。
最后,看看這段話:
“To sell or to market such a high value asset professionally, you should entrust the job to a true professional in order to optimise your property's full potential to secure the highest price and the shortest period of time.”
上面三個(gè)加線之處,都有語(yǔ)病。
㈠ high value→highly valued/ highly valuable. ㈡ your property's full potential→the full potential of your property. ㈢ and→at。
此外,㈡前面有“optimise”(盡量提高)這字,“potential ”里面的“full”便多余了,應(yīng)該除去。同樣的道理,下面這句里的 “widely”和“in more than 100 countries”,也互相抵觸,要除去其中一個(gè):
“...prepare students for the Royal School of Music Examination which is widely recognised in more than 100 countries.”
改正之后,可以是“which is widely recognised”或“which is recognised in more than 100 countries”.
此外,這句的形容詞分句“which...”是非限定的( non-restrictive adjective clause),其前面要加逗號(hào),把分句和先行詞分開(kāi),才符合用法:
...prepare students for the Royal School of Music Examination, which is widely recognised
or
...prepare students for the Royal School of Music Examination, which is recognised in more than 100 countries.