1.Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
嗯,今天我們嘗試手淫是為了錢。

2.Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
是的,它告訴我們,你參與的群眾文化有個錯覺,以為太陽的視位置相對于任意星座的定義你的出生，在某種程度上影響你的人格。

3.You did not "break up" with Joyce Kim. She defected to North Korea.
你沒有與喬伊斯金“分手”。她叛逃到北韓。

4.Ah gravity, thou are a heartless bitch.
啊,地心引力,你是一個無情無義的婊子。

5.Explain to me an organizational system where a tray of flatware on a couch is valid. I'm just inferring that this is a couch, because the evidence suggests the coffee table is having a tiny garage sale.
向我解釋一個組織系統(tǒng),在那里一盤扁平餐具在沙發(fā)上是有效的。我只是推測,這是一個沙發(fā),因為有證據(jù)表明咖啡桌上有一個小車庫出售。

6.I am truly sorry for what happened last night. I take full responsibility and I hope it won’t color your opinion of Leonard, who is not only a wonderful guy but also, I hear, a gentle and thorough lover.
我真的對昨晚發(fā)生的事情感到抱歉。我承擔(dān)所有的責(zé)任,我希望它不會影響你對倫納德的看法,他不僅是一個好男人,而且我聽說,一個溫柔而周密的愛人。

7.At least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again.
只是你現(xiàn)在還能從燃燒的廢墟里找回裝滿對她美妙幻想的黑匣子，好好分析下數(shù)據(jù)你就不會再墜入"呆子谷"。

8.I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble Telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.
聽著，我認(rèn)為你能跟Penny做愛的幾率跟哈勃太空望遠(yuǎn)鏡發(fā)現(xiàn)在每個黑洞中央都有個小人在用閃光燈尋找斷路器的幾率一樣大。

9.There's always the possibility that alcohol and poor judgment on her part might lead to a nice romantic evening.
酒精加上她一時糊涂總有可能讓今晚成為浪漫之夜。

10.There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked.
如果那該死的死亡放射線能用我就不會挨打了。