十大常見禮儀錯誤 總有一條你經(jīng)常犯!
作者:一鹽姐姐譯
2012-02-16 17:54
社交錯誤
Etiquette doesn't just mean RSVPs and dinner party manners, it's a reflection of your entire outlook on social interaction and public life. Not holding the door open for a little old lady says something about you to everyone who sees it -- namely, that you can't spare five seconds to be a half-decent guy.
所謂禮儀,指的不僅僅是答復(fù)邀請、或參加晚宴時(shí)的優(yōu)雅舉止,它能反映出你在社交場所及公眾生活中的模樣。舉個例:一位上了年紀(jì)的老太在你身后進(jìn)門,你卻忘記幫她扶著門……那么,任何目睹了這一幕的旁觀者會立馬對你的印象大打折扣。
In most situations, your image and appearance isn't just part of what defines you; it's the only thing that defines you. People who don't know anything about you are going to fill in the blanks with the only information they have, which is how they see you behave. Regardless of how you think of yourself, one awful social habit can easily become the thing that comes to identify you: Anyone who sees you chewing your food like a cow and acting belligerent toward your waitress is going to remember that stuff far before your job title or sophisticated wit.
在絕大多數(shù)時(shí)候,你的外表和形象往往代表了一切。那些不熟知你的人,只能夠通過對你舉止的觀察,來填補(bǔ)對你形象的空白。無論你是否自視甚高,只要有一點(diǎn)兒禮儀上的錯誤就能導(dǎo)致你被全盤否定。比如,吃飯的時(shí)候狼吞虎咽、或?qū)Υ?wù)生粗暴無禮,這些都會比你是否身居高位、是否處事圓滑技巧高超更讓人印象深刻。
10.忘記介紹
No.10 Failing to introduce people
第10條:忘記相互介紹
Whether in a professional or social setting, it's always awkward if you fail to introduce two people when you're their only shared acquaintance. This is really just common courtesy, but if you're called away from the conversation, it also leaves these folks making strained small talk while not even aware of each other's names. There are technically some agreed-upon rules to making professional introductions (such as saying the name of the professionally superior person first), but none of that is as important as remembering to make the introductions in the first place.
無論在什么場合,如果你認(rèn)識的兩人碰面,而他們彼此都不認(rèn)識,這時(shí)若你不出面相互介紹,就會導(dǎo)致尷尬的發(fā)生。介紹一下實(shí)為舉手之勞。假如你還沒介紹他們互相認(rèn)識,就半途借故離開的話,他們會不得不尷尬地有一搭沒一搭地聊著,卻連自己在和誰說話都搞不清楚。介紹也是個技術(shù)活兒,有一些約定俗成的規(guī)矩可供參考,比如:先介紹身份更高一點(diǎn)的那位會比較合適。不過無論怎樣,在一開始就相互引薦才是最重要的禮節(jié)。
9. 打電話
No.9 Not removing yourself to take a cell phone call
第九條:接電話時(shí)不回避
In almost every social situation, the people who actually physically share the room with you are owed your attention more than someone who's just calling or texting. This is especially noticeable and aggravating when at a dinner table or similarly personal setting, but it applies to almost any situation when you're not alone. Even if you're just waiting in line with total strangers, try to keep your phone conversation to yourself as much as possible.
在幾乎所有社交場合,和你共處一室的任何人都比手機(jī)里跟你互動的那個人更重要。在餐桌或私人場合尤其,光盯著手機(jī)會顯得你既醒目又惹人厭。即使在排隊(duì)的時(shí)候來了個電話,也請記住,盡量把對話音量放小點(diǎn)吧。。
8. 賬單
No.8 Arguing over a check
第八條:為賬單爭執(zhí)
Here's a simple rule for group dining situations: Prepare to pay an even share, but don't take advantage of that possibility by overindulging. Go into dining situations expecting that some loud guy you don't really like is going to order three $20 martinis after his steak and expect to split that with you and your sandwich. If this is consistent behavior and it's making you furious, deal with it in a different setting instead of launching into an accusatory check argument right there in the restaurant. Besides, you're paying a small price to demonstrate that you're gracious and magnanimous.
搭伙吃飯的時(shí)候,記住一個簡單的道理:盡量AA制。但也沒必要死磕在這點(diǎn)上。假如伙伴里有個你并不喜歡的說話大聲的家伙,他卻點(diǎn)了一大塊牛排外加3份兩百塊一杯的馬提尼酒,而你只點(diǎn)了個三明治;買單時(shí)他想跟你平分賬單,好吧,你該這么做:如果他經(jīng)常這樣占你便宜,而你又很氣憤,那么就找個合適機(jī)會跟他挑明;沒必要當(dāng)場就在餐館里爆發(fā)。而且,換個角度來看,花筆小錢,卻能顯得你既優(yōu)雅又寬宏大量,何樂而不為呢。
7.遲到
No.7 Being late
第七條:遲到
People like to feel valued, and if you're looking for a surefire way to indicate that you don't value them at all, go ahead and just fail to show up. You can come in 20 minutes later with a pretty good explanation, but when it comes down to it, the other person is left wondering why he evidently cares more about this relationship than you do. Especially in a professional setting dealing with clients and bosses, being late is a starkly noticeable way to divide the room into capable, considerate people and people who merely have long-winded excuses about cars not starting.
人們喜歡被尊重。讓人感到被輕視的最高效方法便是赴約時(shí)遲到。遲到20分鐘,然后給出個漂亮的借口的確能蒙混過關(guān),但人們總歸會暗暗想:他是不是沒我那么重視這段關(guān)系?尤其是在職場中,客戶和老板們一眼就能分辨出誰是能力強(qiáng)、考慮周到的好員工,誰是好吃懶做只會把責(zé)任推到交通上的職業(yè)打醬油兄。
6.讓座
No.6 Not giving up your seat
第六條:不讓座
In the same way that many rules of etiquette are designed to keep you from being self-centered, the "give up your seat to someone who needs it more" rule is basic human decency and not a discussion about gender politics. Maybe the pregnant woman or frail old lady doesn't technically require your hard-won public transit seat, and maybe you had a terrible day, your feet hurt and the bus is packed with miserable people, but suck it up and give up the damn seat already.
很多禮儀習(xí)慣都是為了讓你不顯得太以自我為中心,這條也是。讓座給更需要的人是最基本的人性表現(xiàn),與性別無關(guān)。也許那個孕婦或顫顫巍巍的老太太并不需要你好不容易搶到的座位;也許你剛度過了糟糕的一天,傷心欲絕,且整輛公車上塞滿了跟你一樣悲劇的同類……但無論怎樣,站起來讓個座吧。
5. 服務(wù)人員
No.5 Treating service staff poorly
第五條:粗暴對待服務(wù)人員
Service staff often make less than the minimum legal requirement because it's assumed that you're going to be a reasonable human being and tip 15% to 20%. It's completely OK to tip less than that figure to indicate that you were unhappy with your service, if it's genuinely justified. It's not OK to avoid leaving a tip because you're cheap or were unprepared for the expense. For that matter, don’t send food back for the tiniest mistakes or abuse the staff like they're your servants. Yes, they're required to take this from you, but that's unrelated to the fact that it makes you look like an intolerable ass.
服務(wù)生的薪水通常比法定最低薪水要低,這是因?yàn)榭紤]到:正常的消費(fèi)者一般都會加付15%-20%的小費(fèi)。如果你對服務(wù)不滿意,小費(fèi)給得少點(diǎn)兒也是情有可原的;然而,絕對不能因?yàn)槟泓c(diǎn)的東西價(jià)低、或是之前沒考慮到小費(fèi)問題,而拒絕支付小費(fèi)。同樣,不要因?yàn)閷κ澄锷杂胁粷M就嚷嚷著要退,或是粗暴地像對待仆人一樣對待服務(wù)人員。盡管他們的小費(fèi)數(shù)額全由你決定,你也不能因此就表現(xiàn)得跟個極品一樣。
4. 自我中心
No.4 Talking solely about yourself
第四條:夸夸其談,自吹自擂
Narcissism is not an attractive quality. Yes, there are some guys who can pull off being arrogant and self-absorbed, but this does not give you license to imitate them. Accidentally dominating conversations without intending to come off as self-involved is really no better because the end result is the same. Resist the urge to respond to every sentence with some version of: "Yeah, and here's how that applies to me!" Just shut up for 60 seconds and hear the words people are saying. Then, to top it all off, ask a perceptive question. This is what makes people feel like you care about anyone other than yourself.
自戀可不是個受人歡迎的特質(zhì)。誠然,的確有些傲慢自大的家伙們混得不錯,但這不代表你應(yīng)該模仿他們。聊天過程中時(shí)不時(shí)把話題往自己身上引,無論此舉是否出自有意,都不會帶來正面影響。每當(dāng)你想說:“對!我也是!” 的時(shí)候,忍??!堅(jiān)持60秒不出聲,聽聽別人怎么講。然后再偶爾適當(dāng)?shù)匕l(fā)表幾句有深度的言論,相信我,這樣一來,人們都會愛你到不行。
3.健身房
No.3 Being a gym slob
第三條:健身房混球
Gym etiquette is pretty simple, but that doesn't prevent every gym from suffering its share of inconsiderate gym slobs. These are the guys who monopolize equipment even if they don't appear to be doing much of anything with it, who drop free weights or duffel bags in heavily-trafficked areas where they're likely to kill somebody, and who can't understand (or don't care) that leaving sweat on a bench or machine is gross and inexcusable. One overarching rule will prevent most gym slovenliness: Don't act like you're the most important person in the world. Act like you share this place with a bunch of people who are paying money to use it -- because, well, you do.
健身房本來很簡單,沒什么繁雜的禮儀。但總有那么些極品困擾著大大小小每個健身房。他們就是健身房混球們,比如那些有事沒事就喜歡霸占著器械的人;比如那些把沙袋和舉重器械隨意亂扔、一失手就會砸到別人的人;而那些在座椅或器械上四處留下汗?jié)n的人真是惡心透了,簡直無法原諒!想不被人討厭很簡單,記?。簞e老把自己當(dāng)宇宙中心!要把健身房當(dāng)做一個人人花了錢來相互分享運(yùn)動資源的地方——事實(shí)上,也的確是這樣,不對嗎?
2. 拾掇
No.2 Grooming in public
第二條:在公共場合拾掇自己
Public groominginfringes on our shared social contact; whether you think anyone's looking at you or not, it's simply not OK. Virtually anything that you'd normally go into a restroom to do should be confined to one, including cleaning your ears, clipping your fingernails and anything else related to personal hygiene. An old-school take on this would essentially be to keep your hands away from your face entirely when you're in public, but how about this: Don't do anything you wouldn't proudly and unconcernedly do in front of an attractive woman.
這條絕對違背了社交禮儀。不管你有沒有覺得別人在看你,公共場合這樣做就是不、可、以!想拾掇自己很簡單啊,去洗手間!無論是挖耳朵、剪指甲以及其他任何和個人衛(wèi)生有關(guān)的事,都不要在公眾場合做。以前的禮儀甚至要求在公共場合中不得用手去碰臉。不如記住這一點(diǎn):任何你覺得在面對一位美麗的女士時(shí)不能做的事,就同樣也別在公眾場合做。
1. 狼吞虎咽
No.1 Eating with your mouth open
第一條:吃飯時(shí)張嘴咀嚼
Eating like an animal is simply one of the worst social mistakes you can make. It graduates from merely a bad habit that reflects poorly on you to something that actively disgusts other nearby people trying to enjoy their food. Women in particular find this awful, and it's one of the most common stereotypes of a hopeless, classless guy. This applies to more than just eating for that matter: The term "mouth-breather" is not exactly synonymous with refinement and social graces, so take your cues from that and ditch this habit as soon as humanly possible.
狼吞虎咽是最大的社交禁忌。它可能只是你身上一個小小的毛病,但卻有可能極大地影響到周圍人的食欲和心情,尤其是女人。難看的吃相不僅僅影響別人吃飯,還會讓人覺得你是個沒有前途、地位低下的家伙,而這個問題則嚴(yán)重得多?!坝米齑瓪庹撸绹嫡Z:笨蛋)”可不是優(yōu)雅、有風(fēng)度的同義詞,正相反。因此,記住以上這些建議吧,有則改之,無則加勉!