Anchor
What do you drop when you need it and take back when you don’t.
An anchor
什么東西你需要時就丟掉它，你不用時就拿回來？——錨。

I respect weatherman more than anchor persons. An anchor person is just reading what has already happened, while a weathergirl or a weatherman is predicting the future.
比起新聞節(jié)目主持人，我更尊敬氣象預(yù)報員。新聞節(jié)目主持人只是在宣讀已經(jīng)發(fā)生的事件，而氣象預(yù)報員可是正在預(yù)測未來。
注：實際上氣象預(yù)報員也是在照本宣科，這里是故意在說笑。

Anchorman:?What?do?TV?reporters?wear?under?their?pants?
Cameraman:?News?briefs.
新聞節(jié)目主持人：電視記者褲子里面穿什么？
攝影師：新聞短褲。
注：briefs貼身的短內(nèi)褲；brief摘要。

Ancient
In ancient Egypt, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this
在古埃及貓被尊崇為上帝，貓永遠也忘不了。
注：貓很懷念那段時光，可惜人變化太快了。

angle
Geometry teacher: An instructor who definitely knows all of the angles.
幾何老師：確切知道所有角度的老師。
注：Know all of the angles意思是了解一件事情的所有方面。

OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak [怪異]of nature.
來，從這個角度照張照片，自然界真是怪異。
注：病人害怕醫(yī)生做手術(shù)時說的話。

anniversary
They just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. Or, to be completely accurate___ he celebrated, she repented.
他們剛剛慶祝了他們的25年結(jié)婚紀念，完全準(zhǔn)確地說——丈夫慶祝，妻子后悔。
注：有些人在慶祝金婚、銀婚的時候，實際上在暗自后悔。

My young brother is illiterate. He was just celebrated for his one-month anniversary yesterday.
我有個弟弟是個文盲，昨天剛做完滿月。

Annoy
Miss Phiz: Officer, that man is annoying me!
Policeman: But he’s not even looking at you.
Miss Phiz: That’s what’s so annoying!
Phiz小姐：警官，那個男人真煩人。
警察：可是他甚至看都沒看你一眼。
Phiz小姐：所以我才煩惱。

It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.
沒有任何目的的誠實真煩人。
注：這個人總是帶著有色眼鏡看別人，以為別人的誠實都是裝的，都是有目的的。他看不出別人的目的心里就很煩。

Poverty is of course no disgrace[丟人], but it is damned annoying.
窮當(dāng)然不丟人，但就是他媽的讓人苦惱。
注：如果你不認為窮丟人，窮沒有什么丟人的，但窮確實是不方便，什么也買不起，窮了就是讓人苦惱。

Ant
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when drunk.
螞蟻能舉起它自身重量50倍的東西，能拖動自身重量30倍的東西，喝醉時總是靠右側(cè)摔倒。
注：后面那句話是在故意顯示自己對螞蟻研究的透徹。別人也能一眼看出你在說著玩兒。

What do you call an ant in space?
An antronant.
你把太空中的螞蟻叫什么？——宇航員
注：Antronant與Astronaut(宇航員)。

Antique
What is the most valuable type of ant?------ Antique.
螞蟻最有價值的部分是什么？——古董
注：An ant-ique.

Little Boy: Mom, do you remember that antique flowerpot[花盆] that’s been handed from generation to generation?
Mom: Of course.
Little Boy: Well, this generation dropped it!
小男孩：媽媽，你記得那個一代一代傳下來的古董花盆嗎？
媽媽：當(dāng)然記得。
小男孩：是這樣，這一代放棄了！
注：drop：掉；放棄

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
促銷：適合女士用的古董桌，粗腿，大抽屜。
注：Drawer：抽屜；內(nèi)褲。還可理解成：適合穿大內(nèi)褲的粗腿女士用的古董桌。

For sale: Antique ashtray shaped like a classic car. You can park your butts in it.
大減價：老爺車外型古董煙灰缸，可以把煙頭（屁股）放里頭。

Anxiety
If there were only some shorter and more direct route to the devil, it would save an awful lot of sorrow and anxiety in this world.
如果世界上真有一些去地獄的更短更直接的路，那會省下大量的悲傷和焦慮。
注：很多人一輩子勾心斗角，騙人害人，十分辛苦勞累，最后還是下了地獄，如果有去地獄的捷徑，那些人會省多少勁兒呀。

I like to have two anxieties a week. To have more confuses the mind.
我一周只喜歡焦慮兩次，再多會搞亂我的頭腦。
注：很多人整天焦慮不安，你就可以這么說。

I have anxiety on Monday, and anxiety on Tuesday. Now it’s time for me to relax.
我星期一焦慮，星期二焦慮，我現(xiàn)在心情應(yīng)該放松愉快了。

來自:牛牛幽默英語