Admission
An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. "Tell me," inquired the interviewer, "where do you expect to be ten years from now?"
"Well, let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon. I guess I'll be on the golf course by now."
一個(gè)應(yīng)聘者正在接受一所著名醫(yī)學(xué)院的入學(xué)面試。考官說(shuō)，“告訴我，十年后你希望自己在哪兒？”
“讓我想想，”學(xué)生回答，“今天是星期三下午，我想我現(xiàn)在正在高爾夫球場(chǎng)?！?br> 注：醫(yī)生在美國(guó)掙錢(qián)多，受人尊敬，這位還沒(méi)考上就想著打高爾夫了。

Admit
"I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong."
我愿意承認(rèn)我可能不總正確，但我決不會(huì)錯(cuò)。
注：不管怎樣，就是不承認(rèn)自己錯(cuò)了。

In politics……never retract, never retract…… never admit a mistake.
從政時(shí)…….決不要退縮，決不要退縮?……決不要承認(rèn)錯(cuò)誤。
注：從政的人臉皮要厚。

I admit I would rather choose a wife who has the usual number of limbs …..and although one eye may be very agreeable, society has always been in favor of two.
我承認(rèn)我寧愿選擇一個(gè)四肢健全的妻子……盡管一只眼睛也可能很令人愉快，但世俗的偏見(jiàn)還是認(rèn)為兩只眼睛好。
注：世俗的偏見(jiàn)認(rèn)為兩只眼睛好，認(rèn)為頭發(fā)茂盛好。

The law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong.
法律禁止我承認(rèn)錯(cuò)誤。
注：如果有人讓你承認(rèn)錯(cuò)誤，你可以這樣告訴他們。

場(chǎng)景再現(xiàn)：某人裝修房子花了很多錢(qián)，他很心疼地說(shuō)：
When my wallet stopped aching, I had to admit that my new home was quite something.
當(dāng)我的錢(qián)包不再疼痛時(shí)，我得承認(rèn)我的新家真得象回事了。

Adopt
Retirement is when millions of Americans finally have the opportunity to adopt an alternate[交替的] lifestyle --- poverty.
退休是百萬(wàn)美國(guó)人終于有機(jī)會(huì)換一種方式生活了——貧窮。
注：退休后只拿固定的退休金，掙得少了，以前打高爾夫的改成彈玻璃球了。

Leo: Listen, I’m nobody’s fool.
Cleo: Then why don’t you get yourself adopted?
Leo：聽(tīng)著，誰(shuí)也不能把我當(dāng)傻瓜。
Cleo：為什么你不收養(yǎng)你自己呢？
注：I’m nobody’s fool字面意思是：我可不是別人的傻瓜。

“What’s the idea of the Greens having French lessons?”
“They have adopted a French baby, and want to understand what she says when she begins to talk.”
“Green夫婦為什么要學(xué)法語(yǔ)呢？”
“他們收養(yǎng)了一名法國(guó)嬰兒，想等她開(kāi)口講話時(shí)能聽(tīng)懂她的話。
注：這對(duì)夫婦考慮多周到啊。

Adult
Adults: 1 tablet [片] 3 times a day until passing away.
成人：一次一片，一天三次，直到病癥消失。
注：日本一種藥瓶上的使用說(shuō)明。until passing away還可理解成：直到死。

A talk show is an unnatural act between consenting adults in public.
脫口秀是相互同意的成人之間在公共場(chǎng)合的非自然行為。
注：電視上的脫口秀訪談節(jié)目中嘉賓和主持人看似是隨意交談，實(shí)際上在下面就該說(shuō)什么不該說(shuō)什么早達(dá)成了協(xié)議。

advantage
There’s another advantage of being poor --- a doctor will cure you faster.
窮人還有一個(gè)好處——醫(yī)生會(huì)更快地治好你的病。
注：如果病人有錢(qián)，有些醫(yī)生故意不立即治好病人的病。

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
每天鍛煉的好處是你能夠更健康的死去。
注：朋友勸你多鍛煉，你不想鍛煉，就可以這么開(kāi)玩笑。意思是“鍛煉不鍛煉，還不是都得死，你又不能健康地死去?！?/p>

There is an advantage of a president being over seventy, that is he doesn’t have to listen to his mother.
年齡超過(guò)70歲的總統(tǒng)只有一個(gè)優(yōu)點(diǎn)——他不必聽(tīng)媽媽的。
注：里根70多歲了還當(dāng)總統(tǒng)，諷刺他年齡大了。

You have a magnificent chance, with all the advantages of wealth and position. Don’t throw it away by any exhibition of talent.
你有錢(qián)有地位，這些優(yōu)勢(shì)使你的機(jī)會(huì)無(wú)與倫比，不要顯示你的才能把機(jī)會(huì)丟掉。
注：有時(shí)候錢(qián)和地位比才能更重要。但我們還是要努力提高自己的才能，否則你既沒(méi)錢(qián)，又沒(méi)地位，還沒(méi)有才能，那就更沒(méi)有機(jī)會(huì)了。

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.[清潔女工]
邀請(qǐng)您使用我們的客房服務(wù)。
注：日本一家旅館的提示。這句話還可理解成：邀請(qǐng)您占我們清潔女工的便宜。
清潔女工還可說(shuō)成：CCO (chief cleaning officer)，
模仿CEO (chief executive officer)。

Advertise
Why don’t you advertise for your lost dog?
The dog can’t read.
你的狗丟了，為什么不登個(gè)廣告？——狗又不識(shí)字。

Beggar: Can you help me? I have lost my legs.
Gentleman: I haven’t got them. Why don’t you advertise for them?
乞丐：您能幫幫我嗎？我失去了雙腿。
紳士：我沒(méi)撿到它們，你為什么不登尋物啟示呢？
注：I have lost my legs.還可理解成：我把雙腿丟了。

Advertising is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
廣告是85%的困惑和15%的傭金。
注：現(xiàn)在很多廣告云山霧照，人們很困惑，不知道它在說(shuō)什么，但廣告策劃者拿走了15%的傭金。

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
廣告可以被描述為長(zhǎng)時(shí)間俘虜人類智力從中賺錢(qián)的科學(xué)。
注：廣告狂轟爛炸，廣告產(chǎn)品逐漸走進(jìn)了人們腦子，自然他們就賺到了錢(qián)。

來(lái)自:牛牛幽默英語(yǔ)