英語暢談中國文化50主題--46：理想男人

A Chinese girl falls in love with a Frenchman who always buys her gifts. The girl feels overwhelmed with love. “A Chinese man would never buy me so many gifts,” she said. I’ve also heard that many Chinese girls like to have Western boyfriends. Men are good at making their girlfriends happy through buying them gifts. But you know what, when those girls really need help, Western men would usually tell them to “handle it themselves.” Chinese girls are disappointed when their Western boyfriends are unwilling to spend a lot of money on them. According to Chinese tradition, a woman marries for food and shelter. Although a Chinese man is not good at buying gifts for his wife, he feels obliged to support her for the rest of her life. Love becomes secondary. A Western man may be good at showering his girl friend with gifts but he usually has second thoughts when it comes to a meaningful relationship. That’s why many Chinese girls feel it less advantageous to marry Western men. Western men, on the other hand, find Chinese girls too pragmatic and less independent. I remember reading an article about a Chinese girl who married an American. The girl came all the way to Beijing to live with the man. She never asked him for money and neither did she rely on his connections. Instead she supported herself through an English training class and eventually found a nice job. When the man asked her to marry him, he told her “You are different from many Chinese girls. They are too dependent on men.” Chinese people believe that if two people fall in love, they should share happiness and hardship. Many Chinese women find it unbelievable that Western men would allow their girlfriends to rough it on their own. Sometimes I wonder if it is an excuse by Western men to escape their responsibilities by talking about independence. One may get a lot of gifts by marrying a Western man but you will probably lose their life-long support, unless you are prepared to face all the challenges yourself. As for the girl who married the American, I just feel there are too many uncertainties for her, both physically and mentally. The good news is Chinese men have learned to buy gifts for their girl friends. That’s why roses cost a fortune on Valentine’s Day. You seem to suggest that Chinese men are preferable and more dependable.