Things My Mother Taught Me
母親教我的（節(jié)選）

聽寫時(shí)忽略標(biāo)題
My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me religion: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about time travel: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My Mother taught me logic: "Because I said so, that's why." My mother taught me foresight: "Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident." My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM contortion: "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!" My mother taught me about stamina: "You'll sit there'til all that spinach is finished." My mother taught me about weather: "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room." My mother taught me how to solve physics problems: "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?" My mother taught me about envy: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
母親教我如何珍惜他人辛苦勞動(dòng)： “如果你們要打架，到外邊打去——我剛整理好房間！” 母親教我什么是宗教： “你最好祈禱那個(gè)東西能從地毯下冒出來?！?母親教我什么是時(shí)間旅行： “你要是不改，我把你一把推到下周三！”（意為：不讓過周末。） 母親教我什么是邏輯： “為什么？因?yàn)槲揖褪沁@么說的！” 母親教我什么是遠(yuǎn)見： “一定要穿干凈內(nèi)衣，以防萬一你遇到事故。” 母親教我什么是柔體雜技： “你能不能看看你脖子后面的泥！” 母親教我什么是耐力： “坐在那兒，直到把所有的菠菜吃完?！?母親教我如何識(shí)天氣： “好像有龍卷風(fēng)席卷過你的房間。” 母親教我如何解決物理學(xué)問題： “如果我高聲叫喊，是因?yàn)槲铱匆娪幸活w流星正朝你俯沖而來，那你會(huì)不會(huì)聽我的話？” 母親教我什么是嫉妒： “這世界上有數(shù)百萬不幸的孩子，他們可沒有你這么好的父母。”