10 Ways We Hurt Our Romantic Relationships
戀愛十宗罪：我們是如何毀了愛情？

It's not easy to have a great relationship with your boy/girlfriend, partner, or spouse. Here are a few of the things that cause people to destroy their own relationships.
想要維系和戀人、伴侶或愛人的感情并不是一件容易的事情。人們是這樣毀了他們的愛情的：

1.You're playing to win
你們總是想要贏對(duì)方

One of the deadliest killers of relationships is the competitive urge, the attitude that the relationship itself is a kind of game that you're tying to win. People in competitive relationships are always looking for an advantage, the upper hand, some edge they can hold over their partner's head.
愛情的一大致命殺手就是競(jìng)爭(zhēng)欲望：把感情當(dāng)作比賽，總是想要贏過對(duì)方。處在競(jìng)爭(zhēng)關(guān)系中的人總是想要尋找自己的優(yōu)勢(shì)，占盡上風(fēng)，盡握對(duì)方的把柄。

2.You don't trust
你們不信任彼此

There are two aspects of trust that are important in relationships. One is trusting your partner enough to know that s/he won't cheat on you or otherwise hurt you — and to know that he or she trusts you that way, too. The other is trusting them enough to know they won't leave you or stop loving you no matter what you do or say.
感情的信任包括兩層含義：足夠信任你的伴侶，明白他不會(huì)欺騙也不會(huì)傷害你，同時(shí)也了解他也是如此的信任著你；足夠信任你的愛人，明白不管你說什么做什么，他都不會(huì)離開或者不再愛你。

3. You don't talk
你們不交流

Too many people hold their tongues about things that bother or upset them in their relationship, either because they don't want to hurt their partner, or because they're trying to win. Ultimately, keeping quiet reflects a lack of trust — and, as I said that's the death of a relationship.
太多的人沉默無言，對(duì)感情中讓他們煩惱或者不安的細(xì)節(jié)只字不提，也許是因?yàn)椴幌雮?duì)方，也許是因?yàn)樘胍A而不愿意示弱。緘默不語其實(shí)是缺乏信任的表現(xiàn)，這是愛情的死穴。

4. You don't listen
你們不傾聽

Listening — really listening — is hard. It's normal to want to defend ourselves when we hear something that seems like criticism, so instead of really hearing someone out, we interrupt to explain or excuse ourselves, or we turn inward to prepare our defense. If you can't listen actively, at least to the person you love, there's a problem.
真正的傾聽很難。聽到類似批評(píng)的話語時(shí)，我們想要為自己辯護(hù)，這很正常，所以我們不聽對(duì)方把話說完就開始打斷，解釋，為自己找借口，或者在心中準(zhǔn)備防守。如果對(duì)你愛的人你都無法主動(dòng)傾聽，那就有問題了。

5. You spend like a single person
你還像個(gè)單身的人過活

When you're single, you can buy whatever you want, whenever you want, with little regard for the future. It's not necessarily wise, but you're the only one who has to pay the consequences. When you are with someone in a long-term relationship, that is no longer a possibility. If you're spending money as if it was your money and nobody else has a right to tell you what to do with it, your relationship is doomed.
單身的時(shí)候，想買什么買什么，隨時(shí)隨地隨心所欲，一點(diǎn)不想著將來。這很不明智，但是我們是唯一要為后果付出代價(jià)的人。當(dāng)你長期跟某人交往時(shí)，這一切就不再成為可能。如果你還是像以前一樣大手大腳覺得別人沒權(quán)利對(duì)你指手畫腳，那么你們的感情就完了。