10.小偷和擊劍冠軍的偶遇

In Budapest, Hungary a burglar came face-to-face with a sword-wielding Virgine Ujlaky (pictured) who happened to be practicing near the house he was burgling. Pal Nagy had climbed a fence and was attempting to climb in through a back window when Ujlaky confronted him. She pinned the burglar to the wall with the point of her sword pointed at his neck and calmly called the police. When the police came to collect the man, he was in such a state of shock that he had to be treated by paramedics!
在匈牙利的首都布達佩斯一個歹徒在偷竊的過程中遭遇了正在附近訓(xùn)練的國家擊劍運動員Virgine Ujlaky（上圖）。這個歹徒當時已經(jīng)爬過了圍欄企圖通過房子后面的窗戶進入別人家里進行偷盜結(jié)果遇上了Virgine Ujlaky。她用自己的擊劍將罪犯定在了墻邊然后鎮(zhèn)定的叫了警察。而當警察迅速趕來抓罪犯的時候，罪犯的狀況非常讓人震驚，因為他已經(jīng)需要醫(yī)護服務(wù)了。

9.工作時間禁止飲酒

In Dusseldorf, Germany a criminal was proud of himself for having successfully stolen money and jewellery. He decided to treat himself to some stolen champagne in the comfort of his getaway car. He got so drunk though that he fell asleep. Concerned passers-by thought the poor man had passed out and was trapped in his vehicle so called the emergency services. When the police turned up, they checked his ID and discovered he’d been a naughty 37-year-old boy and was wanted for a string of robberies. As well as the robberies, he was also charged with drink-driving.
在德國的杜塞爾多夫一個罪犯正在得意自己成功偷到了錢和珠寶。然后他打算在自己舒適的偷來的車里喝一點偷來的香檳。但是他喝太多了以至于醉翻了。周遭關(guān)切的人們以為這個倒霉的家伙昏過去被困在車里了，然后叫來了警察。當警察過來檢查了他的身份證，發(fā)現(xiàn)他是一個37歲的搗蛋鬼，而且還因為一系列的偷盜行為正在被通緝。跟偷盜罪同時，這個罪犯還被起訴了醉駕。

8.偷車去受審

A 37-year-old man is due in court for an auto theft crime he committed. He shows up on the day, which was nice of him to do so. He showed up, however, in a stolen Lexus SUV. Police in the carpark were suspicious as they watched the hairstylist by day turn up, exit the car and enter the courthouse…leaving some Yorkshire Terriers yapping away in the vehicle. Their suspicions paid off because soon the San Francisco based criminal as charged with receiving a stolen vehicle, receiving stolen property and charges of animal cruelty for leaving the dogs unattended in the vehicle. And what happened in the courthouse? the jury convicted the man of the original auto theft charge. He was charged with possession of a Porsche Carrera, valued at $125,000, that had been stolen from a San Anselmo home.
一個37歲哥們兒即將去法庭接受自己以前關(guān)于偷車的審判。他按時出現(xiàn)了，這對于他來說很好。但是他竟然開著一輛偷來的雷克薩斯去接受審判。停車場里的警察看著這位發(fā)型師開車來了，然后離開車進入了法院，任由車里的幾只Yorkshire小狗對他狂吠。很快警方的懷疑驗證了，這個舊金山來的罪犯被指控為買臟和置小狗在車內(nèi)于不顧涉嫌虐寵。那么在法庭里發(fā)生了什么呢？在法庭里他因為盜車被指控，被偷掉的車價值12.5萬美元，來自于圣地亞哥。

7.自作自受

A man from Michigan stole $300 worth of hunting knives, which he hid in his pants. As he ran away from the store he tripped, fell and stabbed?himself in the stomach by the knives that were tucked away in the waistline of his getaway pants. That is what they call Karma. The suspect was hospitalised after the attempted theft from a Meijer Inc. superstore in the US city of Grand Rapids and is expected to face a misdemeanor shoplifting charge.
一個哥們兒偷了一把價值300美元的狩獵刀藏在他自己的褲子里。在逃跑的過程中他偷來的刀從腰間滑落在地上，而與此同時他被絆倒，偷來的刀子戳進了他的胃部。這就是人們說的命運吧。在他在美國的大激流城的Meijer超市偷竊之后，這個小偷被送往醫(yī)院，而且會面對一個偷竊的起訴。

6.小偷大戰(zhàn)95歲老太太

That’s right folks, 46-year-old robber Robert Horsley (pictured) came face-to-face against a 95-year-old woman a wheelchair armed with a screwdriver when he broke into her home in the middle of the night. Making more noise than a bull in a china shop when trying to break in through the front door, as soon as Horsley got his hand through the broken glass to unlock the door the elderly lady stabbed it. By this point Horsley was making even more noise. Alarming the neighbours, who called the police, he was soon arrested and is now in jail facing one count of first-degree burglary.
沒錯，46歲的強盜羅伯特霍斯里面對坐在輪椅上的手中握著一把螺絲刀的95歲老太太，事發(fā)當時還是半夜。這哥們一邊造成巨大的聲響，一邊玩兒命的撬著老太太家的前門，就在他終于把玻璃撬開伸手進去把門打開的時候老太太果斷出手用螺絲刀猛戳了他的手。隨即羅伯特發(fā)出了比敲門聲還大的慘叫聲驚醒了鄰居，鄰居們迅速叫來了警察，之后羅伯特被逮捕并且面對一項一級搶劫罪的指控。

5.請簽名~

In Stockport, UK an 18-year-old burglar was arrested for vandalizing a children’s campsite building. The mastermind, known as Peter Addison, and his friend Mark Ridgeway let off fire extinguishers and smashed crockery. How did the police capture this clever little criminal? He scrawled his name across the wall above this poster. Not only did he show his level of IQ by doing this but he also proved his maturity after he also wrote “R GAY” after British Garden Birds on the poster.
在英國的斯托克波特，一個18歲的歹徒因為破壞小孩的露營地建筑而被逮捕。這兩個叫做Peter Addison和Mark Ridgeway的破壞活動策劃者放空了滅火器，打碎了所有瓷器。那警察是怎么抓到這兩位大師的呢？他們其中一人竟然在墻上的海報上寫下了自己名字。這還不止，最讓人懷疑他們智商的地方是，他們還在海報上的“英國園藝鳥”后面寫上了“是同性戀”的留言。

4.呃，柜臺里有多少錢？

A 40-year-old bank robbing virgin it seems. In 2008 Daniel Glen planned to rob a convenience store in Windsor, Ontario, USA. Planning was his forte, robbing was not. Glen phoned the store in advance to ask how much money was in the cash register. The clerk called the police right after he got off the phone and the cops arrested Glen as he was making his way to the store. Turns out Glen was a suspect for two other similar incidents in which he phoned a store in advance and asked the clerk’s to have the money bagged and ready for his arrival. Genius.
一個40歲的搶銀行新手。2008年丹尼爾格蘭計劃去搶劫一個位于美國安大略湖溫莎的便利店。很顯然，做計劃是他的強項，但是搶劫本身貌似不是。格蘭在搶劫之前打電話詢問柜員超市里的柜臺有多少現(xiàn)金。柜員在接完他的電話后立即就通知了警察，之后警察在格蘭前往超市的路上把他抓獲。隨后證實格蘭同時還是另外兩起未遂搶劫案的嫌疑人，和這一次一樣，格蘭在前兩次也是事先通知了超市的柜員告訴他們把錢包好等他來拿。果真是天才！

3.裝死也是藝術(shù)

If you are ever confronted by a brown bear you should play dead, not if you are being chased by police. It seems no one told this to a burglar who broke into a funeral home in Burjassot, outside Valencia in an effort to evade capture from the cops. Among the open caskets holding the dead it did not take long for the suspect to be found. Firstly, he was the only dead person breathing. Secondly, he was wearing baggy, grungy clothes unlike the suits the rest of the deceased were wearing.
如果你在野外不幸遇到了野熊你應(yīng)該迅速裝死以期逃過一劫，但是當你遭遇警察的時候，這顯然是行不通的。不過很顯然沒有人把這個常識告訴這位劫匪，這位哥們兒在西班牙的巴倫西亞企圖破門進入一個殯儀館，隨后他又企圖躲進棺材裝死能夠逃脫追捕。當然在眾多的打開的棺材當中警察沒有花太多的時間就把他逮了出來。很顯然，第一他是唯一個死了還在呼吸的人。其次，他穿著邋遢寬松的衣服，而這和大多死者所穿的套裝很不相符。

2.空手道大師與小偷的故事

The Pan-American karate champion Cristian Garces lives in Manizales, Colombia, along with his instructors and fellow karate peers. Manizales, Colombia is also home to one very stupid burglar who decided that breaking into Garces’ house, whilst the man was inside along with all his karate chums, was a sensible idea. You can pretty much guess the rest…h(huán)e was “apprehended” until police arrived to arrest him.
全美空手道冠軍Cristian Garces住在哥倫比亞的馬尼薩萊斯，和他一起在馬尼薩萊斯的還有他的教練和他的同行們。當然馬尼薩萊斯同樣是也是一個蠢到家的劫匪的故鄉(xiāng)，而這個劫匪打算沖進Garces的家里搶劫，而且是在Garces和他的同行好友們聚會的時候，這確實是一個不錯的主意。當然隨后所發(fā)生的時候你基本也能猜到了，這位劫匪一直處在被“擒獲”狀態(tài)，直到警察來押走他。

1.不好意思，銀行打烊了

Dozy bank robber Christopher Allen Koch was arrested in Liberty, Pennsylvania, USA after he tried to rob a bank that had already closed for the day. The 28-year-old ciminal arrived at Citizens & Northern Bank at 11.40am and sat inside his car in the bank’s parking lot for 20 minutes. No doubt he was trying to psyche himself up for what would become the heist of the century. Koch failed to notice the opening hours though. The bank shut at 12pm; Koch made his move at 12:01pm. Staff inside saw the criminal stood outside the locked entrance doors with a ski mask on and a gun in his hand. They were obviously smarter than him though because they managed to note down his vehicle’s license plate number. Police tracked him down and Koch was charged with criminal attempted robbery and possessing instruments of a crime.
美國賓夕法尼亞州的蠢蛋劫匪Christopher Koch可以說是自首的，因為他企圖去搶劫一家已經(jīng)關(guān)門了的銀行。這位28歲的劫匪在11點40分到達北部居民銀行，然后在銀行的停車場里待了20分鐘。毫無疑問這20分鐘他一定是在給自己之后的萬世基業(yè)加油鼓勁。但是Koch卻沒有注意到銀行的營業(yè)時間只到中午。Koch在12點01分的時候鼓足勇氣開始行動。銀行內(nèi)部的員工注意到這位劫匪站在已經(jīng)關(guān)閉的正門入口帶著滑雪面罩手持一把槍。顯然雇員們比這劫匪聰明，他們記下了劫匪汽車的車牌號。警察很快就跟蹤到了Koch，然后Koch被以企圖搶劫未遂和持有犯罪武器罪起訴。