Children's Self-esteem
孩子們的自尊心

Self-esteem is what people think about themselves - whether or not they feel valued - and when family members have self-respect, pride, and belief in themselves, this high self-esteem makes it possible to cope with the everyday problems or growing up.
自尊是人們對自己的看法――他們是否感到受到重視――當家庭成員有了自尊、自豪、自信時，這種高度的自尊使人們有可能妥善處理孩子們成長的日常問題。

Successful parenting begins by communicating to children that they belong, and are loved for no other reason than just because they exist. Through touch and tone of voice parents tell their infants whether or not they are valued, special, and loved, and it is these messages that form the basis of the child's self-esteem. When children grow up with love and are made to feel lovable despite their mistakes and failures, they are able to interact with others in a responsible, honest, and loving way. A healthy self-esteem is a resource for coping when difficulties arise, making it easier to see a problem as temporary, manageable, and something from which the individual can emerge.
成功的育兒之道是第一步是讓孩子們知道，他們上家庭的一份子，他們受寵愛唯一的原因就是因為他們自身的存在。通過撫摸和聲音的語調(diào)，父母告訴他們的幼兒他們是否受到重視、是否很特別、是否被愛。正是這些信息形成了孩子自尊的基礎。當孩子們在愛的關懷下成長，不管他們是錯誤或失敗，都使他們感覺到討人喜愛時，他們就能用可依賴的、誠實的和愛的方式與別人交往。當出現(xiàn)困難時，他們就能用可依賴的、誠實的和愛的方式與別人交往。當出現(xiàn)困難時，健康的自尊心是一種解決困難的手段，使之容易把問題看作是暫的，能處理的，個人可以從中解脫出來。

If, however, children grow up without hove and without feelings of self-worth, they feel unlovable and worthless and expect to be cheated, taken advantage of, and looked down upon by others. Ultimately their actions invite this treatment, and their self-defeating behavior turns expectations into reality. They do not have the personal resources to handle everyday problems in a healthy way, and life may be viewed as just one crisis after another. Without a healthy self-esteem they may cope by acting out problems rather than talking them out or by withdrawing and remaining indifferent toward themselves and others. These individuals grow up to live isolated, lonely lives, lacking the ability to give the love that they have never received.
然而，如果孩子們盛開在沒有愛、沒有自我價值感的氛圍當中，他們感到不討人喜歡、沒有價值，料想可能被別人欺騙、利用和看不起。他們的行為最終導致了這種結果，他們的自我挫敗的行為把預想變成了現(xiàn)實。他們沒有以健康的方式處理日常問題的個人對策，生活在他們看來是一個又一個危機。由于沒有健康的自尊心，他們在處理問題時，不是提出問題，而是用行動把問題表現(xiàn)出來，或是采取退縮以及對自己和他人保持冷漠的態(tài)度。這些人長大以后過著與世隔絕的孤獨生活，缺乏給予愛的能力，這種愛他們也從未得到過。

Self-esteem is a kind of energy, and when it is high, people feel like they can handle anything. It is what one feels when special things are happening or everything is going great. A word of praise, a smile, a good grade on a report card, or doing something that creates pride within oneself can create this energy. When feelings about the self have been threatened and self-esteem is low, everything becomes more of an effort. It is difficult to hear, see, or think clearly, and others seem rude, inconsiderate, and rough. The problem is not with others, it is with the self, but often it is not until energies are back to normal that the real problem is recognized.
自尊心是一種能量。自尊心強的時，人們感覺好像能夠處理任何事情。這就是當特殊事情發(fā)生或一切進行得很順利時一個人的感覺。一句贊揚的話、一個微笑、成績報告卡上的一個好分數(shù)，或者做王碼電腦公司軟件中心些使自己引以自豪有事，都能產(chǎn)生這種能量。當自我感覺受到威脅，自尊心不足時，任何事在更大程度上都變成了一種需要費力去做的負擔。很難聽清楚、看清楚、想清楚，其他人都似乎沒有禮貌、不體諒人、粗暴。問題并不在別人，是在自己。但常常直到恢復到正常的精神狀態(tài)，人們才認識到真正的問題所在。

Children need help understanding that their self-esteem and the self-esteem of those they interact with have a direct effect on each other. For example, a little girl comes home from school and says, "I need lovings 'cause my feelings got hurt today." The mother responds to her child's need to be held and loved. If instead the mother said she was too busy to hold the little girl, the outcome would have been different.
孩子們需要幫助為理解，他們的自尊和與他們交往的人的自尊彼此相互影響。例如：一個小女孩從學?；丶艺f："我需要愛撫，因為今天我的感情受到傷害了。"媽媽應回應她的孩子對被愛撫和被愛的需要。如果反之，媽媽說她太心不能愛撫這個小女孩子，結果就不同了。

Maintaining a healthy self-esteem is challenge that continues throughout life. One family found that they could help each other identify positive attitudes. One evening during an electric storm the family gathered around the kitchen table, and each person wrote down two things that they liked about each family member. These pieces of paper were folded and given to the appropriate person, who one by one opened their special messages. The father later commented, "It was quite an experience, opening each little piece of paper and reading the message. I still have those gifts, and when I've had a really bad day, I read through them and I always come away feeling better." The foundation of a healthy family depends on the ability of the parents to communicate messages of love, trust, and self-worth to each child. This is the basis on which self-esteem is built, and as the child grows, self-esteem changes from a collection of other's feelings to become personal feelings about the self. Ultimately a person's self-esteem is reflected in the way he or she interacts with others.
保持健康的自尊心是持續(xù)一生的挑戰(zhàn)。一個家庭發(fā)現(xiàn)他們可以互相幫助，確定積極的態(tài)度。一個電閃雷鳴的晚上，一家人圍坐在廚房桌子周圍，每個人寫下兩件他們關于每一個家庭成員的事。這些紙折疊起來給了相應的人，他們一個接一個打開他們的特殊訊息。父親后來評論說："打開每張字條看上面寫的東西，那真是很好的感受。我依然保存著那些禮貌，當我遇到一個特別糟糕的日子時，看看它們，我總會從中解脫出來，感覺好多了。"健康家庭的基礎是靠父母傳達給每一個孩子愛、自尊心從別人的感受變?yōu)樽晕业母惺堋Ｗ罱K，一個人的自尊心就反映在他與別人交往的方式上。