Doing Shopping Online

With the development of the Internet, shopping is no longer a tiring thing. Just click your mouse to choose the articles you like, and the purchase is done. You don’t even have to step out of the room. It seems all easy and quick.

However, people’s opinions vary on this trend. Some believe that on line shopping is time and money saving. With plentiful selection options, they can buy whatever they like at any time conveniently. Still others insist that mis-purchasing alone is annoying enough, not to mention the credibility of the sellers and the safety of their accounts.

In my opinion, the convenience and excitement of on line shopping is beyond all doubts. In the meantime, we must always bear in mind that certain traps do exist, so we’d better make sure the sellers are trustworthy before buying. In addition, we should also guard ourselves from the potential hackers who might steal our account information.

文章點(diǎn)評(píng)：

這是一篇“中等偏上”的學(xué)生作文。 本文先對(duì)網(wǎng)購(gòu)熱潮進(jìn)行簡(jiǎn)介，引出全篇；接著對(duì)網(wǎng)絡(luò)購(gòu)物的正反兩方面進(jìn)行對(duì)比；最后提出自己的看法結(jié)束全篇。整體看思路清晰，邏輯嚴(yán)密，行文流暢，用語(yǔ)較為地道。

下面說(shuō)一下這篇文章的有待提高之處：

1. 文章結(jié)構(gòu)上，能看得出該同學(xué)試圖采用議論文的“三段式”（提出問(wèn)題、分析問(wèn)題、解決問(wèn)題）。 但是，以“With the development of the Internet”為開(kāi)首語(yǔ)，有些落入俗套，有硬套模板的嫌疑。稍加注意，應(yīng)該能寫(xiě)出更好的句子。

2. 微觀語(yǔ)言點(diǎn)方面，有些語(yǔ)句稍顯啰嗦，比如With plentiful selection options… 簡(jiǎn)化成With plentiful selections… 更好，意思沒(méi)有絲毫減損，表達(dá)力反而增強(qiáng)許多。

2011年6月英語(yǔ)四級(jí)作文范文高分版(滬江網(wǎng)校版)