NO.1

The Bronx Zoo is missing a cobra, but apparently he's joined Twitter. The real snake still hasn't been found. Public officials say they're confident the snake isn't in a public area, like the Twitter account suggests (comedically, of course).
紐約Bronx動物園一條專門訓(xùn)練來上場表演的眼鏡蛇近日逃走了！現(xiàn)在還下落不明，警方表示眼鏡蛇不會在居住區(qū)出沒，這條打著“Bronx動物園眼鏡蛇”名號的Twitter賬號也是如此聲稱的。（當(dāng)然，人家只是在搞笑）

I wanna thank those animals from the movie "Madagascar". They were a real inspiration.
這條微博上蛇君說：真感謝電影《馬達加斯加》里的動物朋友們，是你們鼓舞了我！

NO.2

A lot of people are asking how I can tweet with no access to a computer or fingers. Ever heard of an iPhone? Duh.
很多人問我說，你又沒有電腦又沒有手指，怎么發(fā)推？喂，你們不知道有iphone的嘛？

（喂這是iphone打的廣告吧？這是iphone的人在借機打廣告吧？）

NO.3

What does it take to get a cab？？It's cause I'm not white isn't it.
在紐約要腫么叫出租??？難道因為我的膚色問題受到了歧視？？

NO.4

Donald Trump is thinking about running for president?? Don't worry. I'll handle this. Where is Trump Tower exactly?
唐納德·特朗普要競選總統(tǒng)？大家不要擔(dān)心，這事我來解決！告訴我川普大樓的位置先~

（喂你不是去要咬人家吧？）

NO.5

Loving the tall grass at The High Line. Wait!!! I totally saw boob in a window in the Standard Hotel!!!
矮油！紐約高線公園這邊的長草我喜歡！啊咧，紐約標(biāo)準(zhǔn)酒店那邊窗子里看到的是神馬？

(注：關(guān)于Standard Hotel有段背景：The hotel's blog even went so far as to beg people to have sex (and photograph it!) for the viewing pleasure of neighbors and people on the High Line. 于是小編不解釋……)

NO.6

Anyone know if Rebecca Black lives in NYC? No reason.
誰知道Rebecca Black是不是住在紐約？沒事我就問問。

（Rebecca Black，13歲的美國少女歌手，新單Friday不久之前才被Time狂批為歌詞腦殘到了極致，戳此了解詳情>>? No reason？蛇君你想干嘛想干嘛？？）