摘掉眼鏡是不能變美女的

I have never taken my glasses off and put my hair down and suddenly become 9000 times hotter than previously thought.
我從來(lái)沒(méi)有像影視劇里那樣摘掉眼鏡放下頭發(fā)就立馬變身大美女了。

小編注：芙蓉姐姐也要減肥才能變好看的有木有?。?！

黑客也是很苦逼的

Hacker types furiously for 10 seconds before breaking into a password protected database or whatever is needed to further the plot in under a minute.
黑客在鍵盤(pán)上噼里啪啦狂敲一分鐘就破解了密碼竊取了絕密數(shù)據(jù)什么的。

小編注：這應(yīng)該是因?yàn)橛耙晞±锏碾娔X都很高級(jí)，開(kāi)個(gè)機(jī)不到三秒鐘……

鑒證實(shí)錄是騙你的

DNA results come back in 2 minutes——They actually take about 6 months in normal police stations, considering all the backlogs.
DNA檢測(cè)報(bào)告兩分鐘就能拿到手——其實(shí)要等六個(gè)月啊因?yàn)橛泄ぷ鞣e壓。

小編注：鑒證科的同事們真?zhèn)黄稹?/p>

電視新聞?dòng)肋h(yuǎn)是別人的故事

I never turn on the news and see that what's on is immediately relevant to my situation.
從來(lái)沒(méi)有哪次看新聞的時(shí)候發(fā)現(xiàn)跟我有半點(diǎn)相關(guān)。

小編注：反正不要指望班上不起眼的同學(xué)成了大明星……

驚悚片就只是驚悚片而已

I've never had someone standing behind me when I close the bathroom mirror cabinet.
關(guān)上浴室的鏡子壁櫥時(shí)從來(lái)沒(méi)發(fā)現(xiàn)有人站在我背后。

小編注：這個(gè)還是不要有的好……

考試才不會(huì)一眨眼就過(guò)去

Studying for tests does not go into montage mode.
考前復(fù)習(xí)的時(shí)間才不會(huì)像影視劇里那樣以蒙太奇的方式閃過(guò)呢！

小編注：現(xiàn)實(shí)中有蒙太奇多好，不開(kāi)心的時(shí)光一閃就過(guò)……

萬(wàn)眾矚目什么的是不現(xiàn)實(shí)的

I have never walked into a bar filled with black people and had the record scratch while everyone stares at me in stunned silence.
從來(lái)沒(méi)有在走進(jìn)一家全是黑人還有DJ打碟的酒吧時(shí)，所有人都安靜下來(lái)盯著我看。

小編注：參加party的時(shí)候也是不會(huì)有人盯著自己看的，轉(zhuǎn)學(xué)到一個(gè)新班級(jí)也是不會(huì)有人盯著自己看的，不管怎樣除非豁出去了穿奇裝異服或者不穿衣服不然怎么都不會(huì)有人盯著自己看啊……

追公交時(shí)才沒(méi)有淡出的鏡頭

I don't disappear behind buses that drive by.
從來(lái)不會(huì)在公交車開(kāi)過(guò)之后人就消失。

小編注：消失的話那定是瞬間穿越鳥(niǎo)~