I started having this strange feeling of loneliness, self-pity, and sadness in my first year in college.
剛進(jìn)大學(xué)的第一年，我開始莫名的感到孤獨(dú)，自憐和哀傷。

I had no idea what it was,
當(dāng)時(shí)我并不清楚這種情緒是什么

but one thing I knew was that
我唯一知道的是

it all started when my teacher called me out In front of the whole class
當(dāng)一位任課老師當(dāng)著全班同學(xué)的面讓我滾出教室，這種感覺就出現(xiàn)了

for not carrying out the tasks that were assigned to me.
這件事的起因，只是我沒有完成一份她交給我的任務(wù)。

I was a brilliant student in school,
在學(xué)校里，我是一個(gè)很聰明的學(xué)生

even though I could be nonchalant sometimes,
雖然有的時(shí)候我會(huì)有些懶散冷漠

which I felt was commonplace amongst kids my age.
但我覺得在我這個(gè)年齡的孩子中，這也是很通常的事情

?I never took this to heart
我從沒將自己的缺點(diǎn)放在心上

?until she called me out in front of the whole class.
直到這一天，她當(dāng)著全班同學(xué)的面把我趕出了教室

After that experience, I couldn't listen in class;
經(jīng)歷了這樣的事情之后，我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己在課堂上無法聽課

thoughts of that scenario kept playing in my head
關(guān)于那一幕的思緒片段在我的腦海里不斷重現(xiàn)

and my grades dropped drastically.
我的成績下降的很厲害

my friends started avoiding me,
我的朋友們開始避開我

thinking I was acting weird.
他們都覺得我舉止怪異

?I was.
而我也確實(shí)如此

My parents advised me to see a doctor.
父母想讓我去看醫(yī)生

?I started imagining weird things.
我開始看到想象中的奇怪事物

One minute I was overly excited,
前一分鐘還興高采烈

while the next minute I was all moody.
下一分鐘又郁郁沉沉

At this point, I had been withdrawn from school;
到這個(gè)時(shí)候，我已經(jīng)被學(xué)校退學(xué)了

they felt I might be a danger to other students.
因?yàn)樾７秸J(rèn)為我可能會(huì)對其他學(xué)生構(gòu)成人身威脅

Whenever my parents mentioned treatment,
每當(dāng)我的父母提到接受治療

I would retort with "nothing is wrong with me."
我就立刻反駁到，“我什么問題都沒有”

Until I reached a breaking point
直到我走到了崩潰的臨界點(diǎn)

?and couldn't go on any longer by myself.
依靠我自己，再也無法支撐自己

I needed help.
我需要幫助

?Unfortunately, therapy is costly and definitely out of my budget.
不幸的是，心理治療的價(jià)格非常昂貴，遠(yuǎn)超我的消費(fèi)預(yù)算

So, I decided to look for alternatives.
于是，我決定尋找其他的解決辦法

That was when I stumbled upon online counseling .
就在這個(gè)時(shí)候，我偶然知道了在線心理咨詢的事。

I (hesitantly) applied for a service,
我（十分猶豫的）申請了咨詢

and I was assigned to a therapist
我被分配到一個(gè)治療師那里

who started engaging me multiple times a week.
她開始一周數(shù)次的和我交談

I was ultimately diagnosed with "bipolar disorder" as I suspected.
最終我被診斷為“雙向障礙”，正如我所意料

"I'll help you manage it."
“我會(huì)幫助你恢復(fù)健康的”

That was what she said to me.
她是這樣對我說的

At first, It was boring and annoying ,
一開始，我覺得治療過程即無趣又討厭

but my parents, specifically my mother,
但是我的父母，尤其是我母親

kept telling me to continue with it, which I did.
一直告訴我要堅(jiān)持下去，我也照做了

I started noticing significant changes in my behavior.
我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的行為方式有了顯著的變化

?I could sleep better, eat well, talk amongst people,
我的睡眠質(zhì)量和食欲都提高了，還可以跟人群聊天

and do other stuff I couldn't do before.
還可以做之前自己做不到的事情

After a few weeks, I finally felt like myself again,
幾個(gè)星期之后，我感到曾經(jīng)的自己終于回來了

due to the help of my online therapist.
這一切，都?xì)w功于我的在線咨詢師。