是的，有這樣一種虐待，你通常發(fā)現(xiàn)不了。它在心理學(xué)上有個(gè)術(shù)語，叫 gaslighting，直譯過來是“用煤氣燈照你”。
Gaslighting is a harmful form of psychological abuse in which a person or entity attempts to gain power over others by?purposely?making them question their own recollection of events, perception of reality, and ultimately their sanity.
“汽燈”是一種能造成傷害的心理施虐方式，它指的是：通過故意讓受害者懷疑自己對(duì)事件的記憶、懷疑自己對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)的感知、并最終讓他們懷疑自己的理智，從而達(dá)到控制他們的目的。
As used in clinical research, literature, and political commentary, the term comes from the 1938 Patrick Hamilton play “Gas Light,” and its film adaptations released in 1940 and 1944, in which a murderous husband slowly drives his wife insane by progressively dimming their home’s gas-powered lights without her knowledge. When his wife complains, he convincingly tells her that the light has not changed.?
Gaslight 這個(gè)詞現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)常常出現(xiàn)在臨床研究、文學(xué)以及政治評(píng)論里了，而它最早是出現(xiàn)劇作家帕特里克·漢密爾頓在1938年所創(chuàng)的戲劇《煤氣燈下》，這部戲劇后來分別在1940年和1944年被改編成電影。在劇中，心狠手辣的丈夫瞞著妻子逐漸調(diào)暗家里的煤氣燈，以此將她慢慢逼瘋。當(dāng)妻子抱怨家里暗的時(shí)候，他總是很篤定地告訴她家里的亮度并沒有變。
任何人都可能遭受“汽燈”，全球范圍內(nèi)的家暴施暴者、反社會(huì)人士、獨(dú)裁者和異端團(tuán)體往往都精通此道。善用這種方法的人常常是富有魅力的騙子，他們總有辦法掩蓋自己的邪惡行徑。
比如，家暴的施暴者可能會(huì)充滿深情地否認(rèn)自己的暴力行徑，或者會(huì)想辦法然對(duì)方認(rèn)為自己罪有應(yīng)得，或者讓對(duì)方認(rèn)為自己其實(shí)享受這種狀態(tài)。
Ultimately, gaslighting victims lower their expectations of what constitutes true affection and start to see themselves as being less deserving of affectionate treatment.
最終，汽燈的受害者會(huì)降低自己的預(yù)期，逐漸接受現(xiàn)狀，認(rèn)為它很正常。
The gaslighter’s ultimate goal is to instill a feeling of “I can’t believe my eyes” causing their victims to second guess their perception of reality, choice, and decision, thus increasing their level of trust in and dependence on their abuser for helping them “do the right thing.”?
汽燈操縱者的最終目的是鞏固受害者心中那種“我不能相信自己”的感覺，讓受害者質(zhì)疑自己對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)的感知、質(zhì)疑自己的選擇，從而讓他們更加依賴施暴者、認(rèn)為施暴者才知道什么是“對(duì)的”。
汽燈的持續(xù)時(shí)間越長(zhǎng)，它對(duì)受害者心理健康造成的傷害就越嚴(yán)重。最極端的情況下，受害者會(huì)完全接受施暴者創(chuàng)造的虛假現(xiàn)實(shí)，他們會(huì)停止尋求幫助、拒絕親朋好友的介入，至此變得完全依附于施暴者。
這種汽燈技術(shù)通常設(shè)計(jì)得很巧妙，讓受害者很難察覺。大多數(shù)情況下施暴者都會(huì)為自己設(shè)計(jì)出能隱瞞事實(shí)的環(huán)境。
比如，一個(gè)汽燈操控著可能會(huì)把愛人的鑰匙從通常放置的地方移開，讓對(duì)方以為是自己放錯(cuò)地方了。然后操縱者會(huì)“幫助”受害者找到鑰匙，并告訴受害者“看吧，你總是放在這里。”
Common Signs of Gaslighting：
汽燈的征兆通常包括：
You seem to be second-guessing or doubting yourself more often,
你越來越懷疑自己，或者越來越拿不定主意。
You constantly wonder if you might be “too sensitive.”
你一直懷疑自己是不是“太過敏感”。
You often feel confused, possibly to the point of doubting your own sanity.
你經(jīng)常感到很困惑，可能已經(jīng)到了懷疑自己理智的狀態(tài)。
You constantly feel you need to apologize to your partner.
你一直覺得自己應(yīng)該對(duì)伴侶道歉。
You wonder why, with so many good things in your life, you are so unhappy.
你的生活中有很多美好的東西，但你很疑惑自己為什么不幸福。
You frequently feel the need to make excuses for partner’s behavior.
你時(shí)常覺得需要為伴侶的行為找借口。
You often withhold information about your partner’s behavior from friends and family.
你常常對(duì)朋友或家人隱瞞自己伴侶的行為。
You know something is very wrong, but can’t quite figure out what it is.
你意識(shí)到生活中有什么地方不對(duì)，但就是搞不清是什么。
You struggle to make what should be simple decisions.
一些很簡(jiǎn)單的決定對(duì)你來說很艱難。
You constantly feel that you need to be a “better person.”
你一直覺得自己應(yīng)該做一個(gè)“更好的人”。
You feel hopeless and joyless.
你覺得無望、生活沒意思。
You wonder if you are “good enough” partner.
你懷疑自己作為一個(gè)伴侶是不是“足夠好”。
一旦受害者意識(shí)到自己遭受了汽燈，他們通常能從受害狀態(tài)恢復(fù)過來，重建對(duì)自身現(xiàn)實(shí)的信心。
通過重建那些自己曾今荒廢的人際關(guān)系，受害者通常能夠更好地恢復(fù)。而孤立自己則只會(huì)讓施暴者越來越掌控局面。
當(dāng)受害者意識(shí)到有人能給自己提供精神上的支持后，他們將能更好地重建對(duì)自己的信任。而當(dāng)這種信任重建以后，他們就有能力切斷與施暴者的關(guān)系了。
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OK，來講講今天的詞?Purposely
它的意思是“故意地”，詞根是名詞?purpose，它的形容詞形式是?purposeful
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那么，我們來造個(gè)句子吧~
They are purposely withholding information.
他們是在故意隱瞞信息。
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