Despite birthday clowns and stand-up
comedians dominating the scene, we all know that the best
jokesters are dads with their punny humor and groan-inducing quips. Although not everyone is a big fan of that type of comedy gold, there is a certain amount of appreciation any person can have for a well-timed pun. Especially if it's followed by thunderous laughter from the person and the classic finger-guns pose. Scroll down below to see some of the best dad jokes around and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites.
眾所周知，除了生日小丑和獨(dú)角滑稽秀演員，最厲害的段子手就是各家的爸爸們。他們最擅長一詞多用，妙語連珠。盡管他們這種喜劇風(fēng)格并不是所有的人都鐘愛，但對于一個不失時機(jī)的小笑話，任何人都會報以好感，哪怕是極少的一點(diǎn)好感。如果講笑話的人講完笑話又開始發(fā)出雷鳴般的傻笑，再加上一個經(jīng)典的“槍”型手勢，觀眾們更是控制不住要發(fā)笑了。往下翻，看看下面從全網(wǎng)搜集的最佳“爸爸笑話”。別忘了寫番評論，給你最喜歡的投票。
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1.Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
今天我的兒子問我“能給我張書簽嗎？”我頓時淚如泉涌。他已經(jīng)11歲了，仍不知道我的名字叫Brian.
網(wǎng)友評論：
So sorry Brian, one day he'll get it!
Brian我真為你難過，有一天他會明白的。
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2.My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
我妻子說我毫無方向感，為此她非常生氣。所以我收拾好自己的行李就向右走了。
網(wǎng)友評論：
I love this one.
好喜歡這個笑話
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3.DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
爸爸：我進(jìn)城的路上一直在聽收音機(jī)，聽說有個女明星剛剛自殺了。
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
哦天吶！是誰呀?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
呃，我不記得了……我記得好像叫Reese什么什么吧
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
媽媽: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife……
爸爸：不，好像是用一把刀
網(wǎng)友評論：
Groan - nice one!
大笑不止——這個笑話真不錯！
（注：?WITHERSPOON與with a spoon諧音）
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4.Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
你知不知道，第一份法國薯條其實(shí)不是在法國誕生的？它們是在希臘誕生的。
網(wǎng)友評論：
This was so stupid that i actually laughed out loud.
這個笑話好蠢，我都笑出聲了。
（注：Greece與greese諧音）
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5.If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
如果一個孩子拒絕在午睡時間睡覺，他們會因拘捕獲罪嗎？
網(wǎng)友評論：
If the kid wants to avoid a rest, he should go under cover ;)
如果那孩子想逃避追捕，他應(yīng)該尋求掩護(hù)
（注：resisting a rest還可以理解為“拒絕休息”，undercover還可以理解成“躲在披蓋下面”）
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6.I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
我在讀一本關(guān)于反重力的書。我無法把它放下來！
網(wǎng)友評論：
You must obey gravity, it's the law
你不能違抗重力，這是自然法則。
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7.What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
你怎么稱呼一個既沒有身體，也沒有鼻子的人？沒人知道
網(wǎng)友評論：
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.?
你怎么稱呼一只沒有眼睛的鹿？我也不知道。
（注：Nobody knows與no body nose諧音；no idea與no eye deer諧音）
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8.I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
我在亞馬遜上訂購了一只雞，一個雞蛋。我會讓你們知道結(jié)果的。
網(wǎng)友評論：
Eggs still came first, but for another reason. The first chicken had to come out of a chicken egg as it would otherwise not be called that. The animal that lay it however, does not nessecarily had to be a chicken (yet).
肯定是先有蛋，才有雞。不過我有新的解釋。第一只雞肯定是從雞蛋里孵出來的，否則“雞蛋”就不叫“雞蛋”了。而下蛋的動物并不一定是雞（或許還沒進(jìn)化成雞）。
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9.What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.
世界上最少人使用的語言是哪種語言？手語。
網(wǎng)友評論：
You got me.
戳中我的笑點(diǎn)。
（注：?the least spoken language還可以理解成“說的人最少的語言”）
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10.My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me..
我女兒對我尖叫說，“爸——爸，我說的話你一個字都沒聽到，對不對？”想跟爸爸說話，一開始就來這樣一句，真奇怪啊!
網(wǎng)友評論：
Nice one!
這個笑話不錯！
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11.A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
在牙買加，一份蘋果派的價格是2.5美元，在巴哈馬群島是3美元。由此可以知道加勒比海沿岸的派的價格。
網(wǎng)友評論：
Ha!Nice
不錯
（注：pie與π諧音，These are the pie rates of the Caribbean這句話還可以理解為“由此可以計算出加勒比海沿岸的圓周率”）
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12.My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
我妻子想用一只手解開我女兒身上的安全帶，她說“那些只有一條胳膊的媽媽是怎么做到這件事的呢？”我不失時機(jī)的回復(fù)到，“獨(dú)自一個人做到?！?/div>
網(wǎng)友評論：
Ha!That was just before she swiped at you
她聽完一定會錘你。
（注：Single handedly可以有兩種意思，一是“單手”。二是“獨(dú)自一人”）
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13.Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.
正義應(yīng)該是一道冷盤。如果它是一道熱菜，它就應(yīng)該寫作justwater
網(wǎng)友評論：
?Took me a few secs to get it but, well done.
我想了一會兒才明白過來，干得好！
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14.My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
我的朋友一直對我說，“兄弟，振作起來！你的情況已經(jīng)算不錯了！幸好你不是被困在地下一個注滿水的洞里！”我知道他是一番好意。
網(wǎng)友評論：
A well is an underground hole full of water.
“井”就是地下注滿水的洞。
（注：he means well還可以理解成“他指的是一口井”）
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15.MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."
媽媽：“我看起來怎么樣？”爸爸：“用你的眼睛??！”
網(wǎng)友評論：
I need to use this for every person that asks me this question
我會對每個向我問這個問題的人這樣回答。
（注：How do I look還可以理解成“我是怎么看見世界的？”這里爸爸利用了這層意思）
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（翻譯：小木）
