Strong relationships with colleagues can improve your work life. But if you’re overly close with a superior ― namely, your boss― the bond could actually do more harm than good, according to psychologist and executive coach Kate Snowise.
良好的同事關(guān)系有助于你的工作生活。但要是你與上級的關(guān)系太親近——也就是，與你的老板的關(guān)系——這種關(guān)系可能會弊大于利，心理學(xué)家間與高管教練凱特·斯諾維斯如是解釋。

“It is great to have personal relationships at work, and research demonstrates that having a close friend at work is one of the greatest contributors to job satisfaction, but things can get weird if this person is your boss, due to the potential power they have with your career,” she told HuffPost.
“能夠在工作中建立人際關(guān)系是很好的事情，并且也有研究顯示在工作上有一位親近的朋友，對于提升職業(yè)滿意度有很大的作用，但是如果那個人是你的老板的話，事情就變得很奇怪了，因為那會涉及到他們對你的職業(yè)生涯所起到的潛在影響，”她給《赫芬頓郵報》解釋道。

We asked experts to share the telltale signs that the relationship with your boss has ventured into unhealthy or inappropriate territory.
本網(wǎng)站詢問了許多專家，請他們?yōu)槲覀兎窒硪恍┖苊黠@的警告標志，預(yù)示著你與老板的關(guān)系會慢慢陷入不健康或危險的境地。

1. You stop receiving constructive feedback about your work performance.
1. 你再也接收不到關(guān)于你工作表現(xiàn)的建設(shè)性反饋。

“There is a fine line between being a boss and a friend, and being a boss requires sometimes having the hard conversations. If you’re getting too close to your boss, you may have found that you haven’t received any constructive feedback or don’t get any guidance on how you can take your career to the next level. Friends usually don’t want to upset or offend us, but it’s often the hard feedback delivered by a boss that can be some of the greatest fuel to help us move forward in our careers.” ― Kate Snowise
“老板與員工的關(guān)系以及朋友的關(guān)系，這兩種關(guān)系之間有一條界線。并且，老板有時候需要開展一些艱難的對話。如果你與老板的關(guān)系越來越接近，你可能會發(fā)現(xiàn)你再也沒有接受到任何建設(shè)性的反饋，或者沒有收到任何幫助你前進到下一個階段的指導(dǎo)。朋友通常都不想打擊或冒犯我們，但通常只有接受來自老板的鐵一般的反饋，才能獲得最好的能源，驅(qū)動我們?yōu)槭聵I(yè)的發(fā)展而努力?！薄獎P特·斯諾維斯

2. You start feeling like the teacher’s pet.
2. 你開始覺得自己像是“老師的寵兒”。

“This is often the first red flag. You feel singled out for plum projects and are taken to lunch more often than other members of the team. You may also get more face time with you manager. This is dangerous territory not only for the manager and company ― particularly with the greater awareness of bullying and sexual harassment claims of late ― but for you. You risk being ostracized by your peers and may find it difficult to get cooperation from coworkers.” ― Lynn Taylor, workplace expert and author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior & Thrive in Your Job
“這常常就是首個危險信號。你感到自己被孤立于渴望已久的項目之外，相比其他團隊成員，老板帶你出去吃飯的頻率更高了。你還有可能常常與你的經(jīng)理見面。這是一個很危險的情況，不僅對于經(jīng)理和公司——尤其是越來越注重近期的職場霸凌或性騷擾指控來說——對于你來說也是。你冒險把自己排除到同事之外，還發(fā)現(xiàn)難以和同事合作?！薄愐颉ぬ├眨殘鰧＜?，《馴服可怕的辦公室暴君：如何應(yīng)對孩子氣的老板行為，奮力發(fā)展》的作者）

3. You two share inside jokes that make your colleagues uncomfortable.
3. 你們開的玩笑，讓同事們感到不適。

“It’s OK if you develop a friendship with your boss outside of work. But it can be detrimental if you start forming inside jokes that spill into the workplace. If you find yourself sitting in meetings and you and your boss are sharing knowing glances with each other in reference to colleagues, you’re too close. This sort of behavior diminishes workplace morale and will damage productivity at work.” ― Alena Gerst, psychotherapist
“你在工作以外與老板建立友情是沒有問題的。不過如果你開始編一些圈內(nèi)的笑話散播到職場當中，這就有可能是有害的。如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己坐在會議室里，與老板眉來眼去，同時指向其他同事，那么你們之間的關(guān)系就太密切了。這一種行為會大大損害工作士氣，還會降低工作效率?！薄⒘漳取じ袼固兀ㄐ睦碇委煄煟?/div>

4. Your meetings are more social than work-oriented.
4. 會議的內(nèi)容更傾向社交而不是工作。

“If you’re too close to your boss, often the line between work and play can get blurred. The danger is that you may find that you don’t get the direction or support you need, as your meetings can often become more of a social catch-up than an opportunity to discuss real work-based issues or the need for guidance. You can help get around this by sending your boss agenda items of the things you want to discuss before any meeting.” ― Kate Snowise
“如果你與老板的關(guān)系太親近，那么工作與玩樂之間的界限就會越來越模糊。這里有一個險區(qū)，你可能會發(fā)現(xiàn)自己無法獲取所需的指引或支持，正如你們的會議的風格更像是社交話家常而不是一個討論真實的工作問題或提出知道需求的場合。你可以避開這個，只需要發(fā)送一條行程清單告訴老板你想要在會議討論的事情就可以了。”——凱特·斯諾維斯

5. You feel obligated to see each other outside of work.
5. 你無法抑制自己下班后與對方見面。

“It’s one thing to be invited to an occasional lunch alone by your manager. But if you’re being singled out, it’s happening often and it starts being combined with other outings, such as drinks or dinner, the relationship is likely crossing a healthy boundary. You should be able to do your job during normal working hours and never feel uncomfortable about the time and/or place. If you do, it’s your right to speak up immediately, with diplomacy.” ― Lynn Taylor
“偶爾被經(jīng)理邀請一次單獨的午餐是一回事。但是如果你是被故意挑選出來的，這種事情常有發(fā)生，并且這種單獨外出的情況與其他事情結(jié)合起來了的話（比如，喝東西或晚餐），你們之間的關(guān)系似乎正在跨越正常的關(guān)系邊界。你有義務(wù)在正常的上班時間完成你的工作內(nèi)容，并且不會對于時間或地點感到不安。如果你真的能夠這樣做，那么你有權(quán)力策略性地立刻把這件事說出來?！薄铡ぬ├?/div>

6. You start venting to each other like you would to a close friend or therapist.
6. 你們開始互相吐苦水，把對方當作親密的朋友或心理治療師。

“As much as someone can say that whatever you say to them won’t affect their impression of you, we’re all human and certain things can’t be unheard. So be careful what you share with your boss. If you find yourself using your boss as a venting buddy, telling them about your frustrations with the workplace and how you’re so hung over you can barely function, you might want to learn to keep your mouth shut.” ― Kate Snowise
“雖然很多人都說過，不管你對他們說什么都不會影響對方對你的印象，但是我們都是人類，有些事情無法視若無睹。因此你要注意與老板分享的內(nèi)容。如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己正在把老板當作出氣筒，告訴他你在工作上的煩惱，表現(xiàn)出你醉酒得幾乎不能自控的狀態(tài)，也許你真的應(yīng)該學(xué)學(xué)閉上你的嘴巴了。”——凱特·斯諾維斯

7. The relationship becomes flirtatious.
7. 關(guān)系變得輕佻浮躁。

“If you feel like you’re on a date versus ‘on the clock,’ there’s reason to develop an immediate strategy to deal with it. Your manager may call you by an affectionate name or cross the line with an unwanted hug, and you see this repeated. You’re made to feel awkward, and it’s difficult to be productive. The longer you wait to put a stop to their behavior, the more challenging it will be ― and the legal ramifications of this can be significant. The employer, your boss and you could all be part of a hostile work environment legal claim from other workers.” ― Lynn Taylor
“如果你感覺自己一直忙于約會而不是‘打卡上班’，那么你就有必要想出一套即場策略來應(yīng)對。你的經(jīng)理也許會用一個親切的名字來稱呼你，或者跨越了界線，給你一個你不想要的擁抱，而你發(fā)現(xiàn)這種事情時有發(fā)生。你被弄得很尷尬，也很難提高自己的工作效率。若你越不及時制止他們的行為，制止這件事就變得越困難——并且這件事情所需承擔的法律后果就會很意義重大。那個雇主，也就是你的老板還有你，都會成為與其他同事相互敵對的工作環(huán)境當中的一部分?！薄铡ぬ├?/div>

聲明：本雙語文章的中文翻譯系滬江英語原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容，轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處。中文翻譯僅代表譯者個人觀點，僅供參考。如有不妥之處，歡迎指正。

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