In a 2017 CareerBuilder survey, 41 percent of workers ’ fessed up to dating a co-worker, and 30 percent of those relationships led to marriage. Regardless of how common it is, asking your work crush out on a date requires a lot of tact, especially with all the workplace sexual harassment scandals that have unfolded over the last year.
“凱業(yè)必達”調(diào)查公司公布的2017調(diào)查顯示，有41%的上班族曾經(jīng)爽快地答應(yīng)過同事的約會請求，而他們其中有30%的人最終走進了婚姻的殿堂。不過，不管這是多么常見的現(xiàn)象，想要請求你心儀的同事約會還需具備豐富的社交手段，特別在應(yīng)對那些沒有曝光的職場性騷擾的丑聞的時候。

How do you go about it without being a creep? Below, human resources and dating experts share six things to keep in mind before asking someone out at work.
那怎么做才不會讓自己看起來像一個怪咖？下面我們的人力資源及約會專家給大家分享六個小貼士，請謹記在心，在約會同事外出的時候就可以用得上了。

1. Check what HR policies are in place.
1. 適時核查公司的人事政策。

Your workplace is just that: a workplace, not a bar or a dating app for download. None of the HR experts we spoke to encouraged actively looking for love at the office, but they acknowledged it happens. And while it’s less common for businesses to enforce or even have a non-fraternization policy, it’s still important to determine if your company has one, said Teresa Marzolph, founder of Culture Engineered, a human capital consulting firm in Phoenix.
你所在的職場就是這樣的了：是工作的地方，而不是酒吧或一個可供下載的約會應(yīng)用軟件。我們約談過的HR專家都不鼓勵員工在辦公室找另一半，不過他們也不否認有這種事情發(fā)生。雖然對于工商企業(yè)來說一般不會實施甚至運行一套不親民的政策，但你也很有必要去確定公司是否有這樣的政策。Teresa Marzolph說道。Teresa是Culture Engineered的創(chuàng)始人，而這所公司是美國菲尼克斯州的一家人力資源咨詢事務(wù)所。

“The few policies still in existence often focus on relationships that put the company at risk, such as a romantic relationship between a manager and their employee, or one that runs contrary to the checks and balances that exist within the company ― like quality assurance and customer service or finance and sales,” Marzolph told HuffPost.
“很少有現(xiàn)存的政策會關(guān)注那些容易讓公司陷入危機的人際關(guān)系，比如管理者與他們的員工之間的情人關(guān)系，或者是違背公司部門之間相互制衡的關(guān)系——例如品質(zhì)保證與客戶服務(wù)或者是財務(wù)與銷售，”Marzolph在接受赫芬頓網(wǎng)站訪問的時候說道。

If no guidelines exist, Marzolph recommends gauging the workplace culture around you: Have you heard of other office relationships developing in the past? Does the company encourage after-hours camaraderie among the staff?
如果沒有現(xiàn)存的公司指引，Marzolph則建議員工去評估所處的職場文化：你是否曾經(jīng)聽說過其他的辦公室戀情？公司是否鼓勵員工之間建立下班后的友情？

“A company that sponsors or hosts non-work events and activities may be an example of a culture that’s much more tolerant or even supportive of relationships in the workplace,” Marzolph said.
“如果一家公司贊助或主辦工作以外的活動，也許這就能證明這家公司的公司文化更能包容甚至支持辦公室戀情?！盡arzolph說道。

2. Be friends first.
2. 先從朋友開始。

Avoid going from zero to 100 by establishing a friendship first, said Lynn Taylor, a workplace expert and author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior & Thrive in Your Job. This way, you’ll find out early on whether you have anything in common besides mutual disgust of your boss’ Tupperware lunches.
要避免從零到一百的長遠路程，那就先從朋友開始吧，Lynn Taylor表示。她是一位職場專家，也是《馴服可怕的辦公室暴君：如何對付孩子氣的老板行為，蓄力發(fā)展》的作者。這樣做的話，你很快就能發(fā)現(xiàn)，你們之間除了討厭老板的便利店午餐之外，還有哪些相似之處。

“Establish a foundation and find out if you’re compatible, personality-wise,” Taylor said. “Then, take cues. Gauge your next actions off the responses you generally receive from the person.”
“打好基礎(chǔ)，看看你們能否友好相處，個性相似?！盩aylor說道?！叭缓螅瑢ふ揖€索。基于你從對方的反應(yīng)所得到的信息，評估下一步行動?！?/div>

3. Suggest getting coffee.
3. 咖啡之約。

Take some of the stress out of the situation by suggesting a casual location for your date, said Neely Steinberg, a dating coach and image consultant.
在一個休閑場所約會，可以減少一些壓力，Neely Steinberg表示，她是一位約會教練及形象顧問。

“Coffee is usually a good suggestion because it’s low key and really, who doesn’t like coffee?” Steinberg said. “Plus, it may be perceived as a friend thing as opposed to an actual ‘date.’ If you’re not getting a good romantic vibe, you can always just chalk it up to a friendly co-worker coffee.”
“去喝杯咖啡通常都是很不錯的建議，因為喝咖啡是很低調(diào)的，并且誰不喜歡咖啡呢？”Steinberg說道。“再者，這個舉措可能會被視為朋友之間的活動而不是一次真正意義上的‘約會’。如果你們沒有衍生浪漫的氛圍，你還是可以把這視為一次友好的同事咖啡之約?！?/div>

4. When you do ask, don’t make it weird.
4. 如果你真的要提出來了，不要讓它看起來很別扭。

In the past 12 years Marzolph has worked in human resources, sexual harassment complaints have almost always been about how someone went about asking, not the fact that they had asked.
在過去的12年，Marzolph都在人力資源這一行里工作，而性騷擾的投訴常常都發(fā)生在某個人詢問對方的方式，而不是他們詢問的事實。

“The common theme is that the interaction left one person feeling uncomfortable,” she told us. “Whether intended or not, most filing a claim or complaint describe the pursuing employee’s approach as awkward or inappropriate.”
“常見的問題就在于兩個人之間的互動會讓其中一個人感到不適，”她表示?！安还苣闶枪室獾倪€是不是故意的，大多數(shù)人提出索賠或投訴都表示追求者的方式是令人尷尬或不合適的。”

To avoid becoming an office-wide pariah, be mindful of your surroundings and your body language when floating the idea of a date, Marzolph said.
為了避免當一個全公司都知道的過街老鼠，在你表達自己的約會請求的時候，請細心留意你所在的環(huán)境和你的肢體語言，Marzolph表示。

“Don’t come on too strong or corner the person, and ideally, approach them outside of work or in the communal area,” Marzolph said. “Try to keep your approach light; be ready to give the person an easy out if they’re not interested, so you both can continue working together without tension.”
“不要表現(xiàn)得太強勢，也不要攔住對方，理想情況下應(yīng)該在工作或通勤區(qū)以外的地方接近他們，”Marzolph建議。“請記得方法要輕巧，因為如果對方不感興趣的話，你要準備一個下臺階，這樣做的話你們都能夠繼續(xù)一起工作也不會感到壓力。”

5. If they say ‘no,’ maintain professionalism throughout the experience.
5. 如果對方說“不”，也要在這次經(jīng)歷中保持專業(yè)的態(tài)度。

Don’t take it personally if your crush is just not that into you, Taylor said.
Taylor表示，如果你的夢中情人對你不感興趣，你也不要針對對方。

“If the person declines, remember that this is a risky proposition,” she explained. “Your co-worker might have otherwise said ‘yes’ if you hadn’t met at work. Many are averse to dating co-workers as a personal policy.”
“如果對方拒絕了你，請記住這是一次冒險的請求?！彼忉尩馈！澳愕膯T工也有可能說‘好’，如果你們是在工作以外的地方相遇。但是很多人都會出于個人原則拒絕與同事約會?！?/div>

6. If they say ‘yes,’ still maintain professionalism throughout the experience.
6. 如果對方說“好”，你也要在這次經(jīng)歷中繼續(xù)保持專業(yè)的態(tài)度。

From the beginning, recognize that this is an imperfect dating situation. Asking a colleague out isn’t simply about two people getting together ― it almost always complicates the workplace dynamic, said S. Chris Edmonds, a human resources expert and founder of The Purposeful Culture Group.
從一開始，你就要意識到這是一個不完美的約會情境。請求同事約會不僅僅是兩個人在一起的事情——還總會加大職場的波動，Chris Edmonds表示。Edmonds是人力資源專家也是The Purposeful Culture Group的創(chuàng)始人。

“Luckily, some work relationships work out great,” Edmonds said. “I met the woman who became my wife at work and we’ve been married 38 years now. You just need to be diligent in keeping work separate from your outside relationship. PDA or arguing at work will only increase tension and discomfort by other team members and observers.”
“幸運的是，有的辦公室戀情確實可以修成正果。”Edmonds表示。“我在工作中遇到了一個女人，她成為了我的妻子，現(xiàn)在我們在一起已經(jīng)38年了。你們只需要努力地把工作從你們的關(guān)系中脫離開來。秀恩愛或者在工作的時候吵架只會加重其他團隊成員或旁觀者的緊張感和不安?！?/div>

Whatever happens, Edmonds recommends keeping your personal policy on interoffice romances as simple as possible.
不管發(fā)生了什么事情，Edmonds建議把你的關(guān)于辦公室戀情的個人原則保持得越簡單越好。

“The overarching policy everyone in the office should embrace is ‘don’t taint the workplace,’” he said.
“每個人都應(yīng)該遵守的總的原則就在于‘不要污染了工作場所’?！彼ㄗh。

聲明：本雙語文章的中文翻譯系滬江英語原創(chuàng)內(nèi)容，轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處。中文翻譯僅代表譯者個人觀點，僅供參考。如有不妥之處，歡迎指正。

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