2017年12月英語四級作文點(diǎn)評:試卷一醫(yī)患關(guān)系(滬江網(wǎng)校版)
高級版
The growing conflict in service industries, especially the conflict between patients and doctors, has aroused a heated discussion as to the solutions to this phenomenon. Views on the topic vary greatly among people from different walks of life.
There are several things we can do based on the causes for such conflict. First, patients usually do not have a thorough understanding of how challenging and frustrating a doctor's job could be; therefore, the government could create more chances for people to have access to that kind of information. Also, it is also suggested that regular experience sharing from experienced doctors and constant communication with patients, particularly those suffering from severe diseases, should be required of young inexperienced doctors so that they can put themselves in the patients' shoes. Finally, balancing medical resources in different areas will greatly relieve the pressure on doctors and hospitals because they do not need to deal with so many patients at a time.
From my perspective, it is crucial that the relationship between doctors and patients be improved remarkably and immediately. Only in this way can we build a harmonious society.
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低級版
Nowadays, there has been a heated discussion as to the relationship between doctors and patients. Views on the topic vary greatly among people from different walks of life. To best handle the relationship, some believe that the patients’ needs should be satisfied as many as possible, but others consider it better to put the doctors’ suggestions/opinions/advice first.?
I totally agree with the idea that we should put the doctors’ advice first to form a better relationship between the doctors and the patients for the reasons presented below. To begin with, it is good/advantageous for the hospital because if everyone in society can respect the doctors more, it is more likely that the hospital will become better and better. (It is more likely that there will be fewer conflicts between the doctors and the patients) Furthermore, it benefits the patients, for it can help them form a better relationship with doctors which could result in a more satisfied treatment for themselves.?
From my perspective, it is crucial that the government should encourage people to show more respect to the doctors. Besides, it is also significant for people to be more confident about the doctors (who are more professional in medicine/medical science). Only in this way can have a better society.?
解析
文體:本次的作文是大家所熟悉的“議論文”,所以在文體上應(yīng)該給了大家一顆定心丸,比今年6月份的應(yīng)用文——廣告——要容易寫很多;
審題:其實(shí)題目中,最重要的一句話是:how to best handle the relationship between doctors and patients, 所以大家要好好思考一下這一句話就好了;這句話體現(xiàn)出的主題是“醫(yī)患關(guān)系”,體現(xiàn)的要求是需要一個(gè)“解決方法”,因?yàn)榇朕o用的是“how”,所以大家在寫的時(shí)候,圍繞“醫(yī)患關(guān)系”,給出“解決方法”就不會偏題了;
結(jié)構(gòu):議論文用三段論是最簡單也最有效的。正如滬江網(wǎng)校的四六級課程里,一直給大家灌輸?shù)睦砟罹褪且褒堫^鳳尾,中間結(jié)構(gòu)清晰”。也就是說,開頭和結(jié)尾至少要用詞準(zhǔn)確,有吸引力,尤其是開頭部分。因?yàn)殚_頭是給改卷老師形成第一印象的重要位置,所以大家要保證開頭的質(zhì)量;結(jié)尾一段也是如此;而中間部分,有連接詞展現(xiàn)段落的結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,這篇文章在結(jié)構(gòu)上就很清晰明了了。所以本文第一段,引入醫(yī)患關(guān)系的主題,第二段給出自己的解決方法,并說明原因,第三段進(jìn)一步給出對于集體和對于個(gè)人的不同建議,思路就很清楚了。
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- 相關(guān)熱點(diǎn):
- 四級答案
- 四六級應(yīng)試寶典
- 發(fā)揮英文