Do you regret your marriage, and why?
你的婚姻讓你后悔嗎？為什么？

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獲得38.8k好評(píng)的回答@Jennifer Lynn:

Yes, my first marriage was a disaster. It was actually an arranged marriage and I had no clues as to what kind of a person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. When his lies, selfishness, lack of love and greediness surfaced, it had become difficult for me to stay under one roof. We separated soon after.
后悔。我的第一次婚姻就是一場(chǎng)災(zāi)難，其實(shí)是父母安排的，我也不清楚自己的余生要和什么樣的人一起度過。當(dāng)他的謊言、自私、缺乏愛和貪婪顯露無(wú)疑的時(shí)候，我就很難和他共處一室了。我們后來(lái)很快就離婚了。

Later on I realized my mistake and I would like to share it with you.
后來(lái)我意識(shí)到了自己的錯(cuò)誤，我愿意分享給你。

Oftentimes people get into a relationship before taking the time to figure out who they are and what they need. They may spend more time researching their perfect car, which they will have for a short time, than they will researching their needs, wants and goals for their perfect relationship, which they expect to have for a lifetime. Therefore, step 1 is about self-discovery. If you are in a relationship just because it’s expected of you, it might backfire on you soon.
人們經(jīng)常還沒弄清楚自己是誰(shuí)、自己想要什么就開始戀愛。他們可能會(huì)花更多時(shí)間研究最適合他們的車，而車只會(huì)用很短一段時(shí)間，卻不會(huì)花那么多時(shí)間研究自己完美戀愛中的需求、渴望和目標(biāo)，而戀愛卻是他們想要持續(xù)一輩子的。因此，第一步就是自我發(fā)現(xiàn)。如果你只是遵從別人的期待談戀愛的話，你很快就會(huì)自食其果。

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獲得97.6k好評(píng)的回答@Russell Backman：

I am in the middle of a divorce after 27 years, which I thought was going to be forever. I didn’t want the divorce, initially. However, now that we have been separated over a year, I didn’t know how much I had changed. I am now somewhat glad we are divorcing. I wish we could have both changed and worked it out, but too much water under the bridge. I have changed significantly, being happier and more comfortable with the new me.
27年的婚姻生活之后我正在離婚，本來(lái)我以為這段婚姻會(huì)天長(zhǎng)地久。最初我不想離婚，然而既然我們已經(jīng)分開一年多了，我不知道自己變了多少，我現(xiàn)在還有點(diǎn)開心能離婚。我希望我們過去能做出更多改變并解決這件事，但已覆水難收。我已經(jīng)改變了很多，現(xiàn)在的自己更幸福，過得更舒服。

One of the toughest problems in long term marriage is that as time goes on you lose a sense of self, as you melt together as a couple. This loss of self is a big problem. Some look outside of the marriage for activities or even relationships not because they don’t love their spouse, but because they feel truly lost.
長(zhǎng)期的婚姻生活中最難處理的問題之一就是隨著時(shí)間流逝你會(huì)失去自我，因?yàn)樽鳛榉蚱弈銈円ズ稀Ｊプ晕沂莻€(gè)大問題，有些人尋求婚外之樂，甚至有人會(huì)有婚外情，并不是因?yàn)樗麄儾粣圩约旱陌閭H了，而是他們真的感覺自己失去太多了。

I think a truth about marriage: In the beginning of a marriage or relationship you argue and disagree because you are different and don’t know each other. In the end, you argue and disagree because you know everything about your significant other.
我明白了婚姻的真諦：婚姻或戀愛初期你們爭(zhēng)吵或產(chǎn)生分歧是因?yàn)槟銈冎g的不同，你們不了解彼此。后來(lái)你們爭(zhēng)吵或產(chǎn)生分歧是因?yàn)樘^了解對(duì)你很重要的那個(gè)人。

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獲得85.6k好評(píng)的回答@Nicholas Stavropoulos：

No. This September will be 25 years of marriage for us (I was 23 and my wife was 24 when we married). We have four children. I never regret my decision to marry, in fact, I'm very thankful for her presence in my life. This being stated I do not want anyone to believe that I am representing that I have a "perfect" marriage.
不后悔。今年九月是我們結(jié)婚25周年（結(jié)婚時(shí)我23歲，我妻子24歲），我們有4個(gè)孩子，我從未后悔結(jié)婚的決定，其實(shí)我還很感激她能走進(jìn)我的生活，說這些我并不是想讓大家覺著我有“完美”婚姻。

There have been great times and challenging times in my marriage. In the end though, I have grown significantly as a human being because of the experiences I have had in my marriage. My view of marriage and what it means to me is based on learnings that I have come to realize over the years:
我的婚姻有苦也有甜，然而最終婚姻的經(jīng)歷讓我這個(gè)人明顯地成長(zhǎng)了。我對(duì)婚姻的觀點(diǎn)和婚姻對(duì)我的意義都是基于我這些年的感悟：

-My goal in my marriage is to share my love with my wife. To me, if I am not filled with love, joy, forgiveness, service or any other virtue, I will be unable to share it with my wife.
—我結(jié)婚的目標(biāo)是要和妻子分享愛。對(duì)我而言，如果我心里沒有充滿愛、快樂、原諒、服務(wù)或任何其他美德的話，我就不能跟妻子共同分享。

-I've leaned to listen with attention to my wife (and others) because of my wife. I will forever be thankful to her for this skill. It has made me better in ALL my relationships, personal and professional.
—因?yàn)槠拮游覍W(xué)會(huì)了全神貫注地傾聽妻子（或別人）說話，我永遠(yuǎn)要為這個(gè)能力感激我的妻子，這使我更好地處理各種人際關(guān)系，無(wú)論是私人關(guān)系還是工作關(guān)系。

-I've learned and continue to learn to accept others as they are. To make choices about the people with whom I wish to invest my time and the activities in which I choose to participate.
—我學(xué)會(huì)了并將繼續(xù)學(xué)習(xí)接受別人本來(lái)的樣子，以便能選擇好我想花時(shí)間相處的人和我決定要參與的事。

-I've learned that there is no "soul mate". If there is a soul mate it is to be found within ourselves.
—我知道了沒有“靈魂伴侶”，如果有也是在我們內(nèi)心里。

-I've learned patience, forgiveness, acceptance, and much more because my wife and I are different. Because we have disagreements, arguments etc. . . Every time we have differences I make a choice to focus on what it is I can learn from the exchange.
—我學(xué)會(huì)了耐心、原諒、接受，更多的是因?yàn)槠拮雍臀矣泻芏嗖煌?，因?yàn)槲覀冇蟹制?、有?zhēng)論，每次我們產(chǎn)生分歧時(shí)我都決定要關(guān)注我能從這種思想交換中學(xué)到什么。

Finally, I want to make one additional point about marriage and in many ways life. Today it appears we live in a throw away, instant gratification society. We look for the fast and easy solution and cut our losses when things don't go our way. Marriage is not easy and it is not for the feint of heart. It takes an enormous commitment. Things will go wrong. Your expectations will not be met. You will suffer from time to time. This is life, this is marriage. How we respond is what matters. I think marriage is so great because in reality it is the most difficult thing in the world and it reveals everything about our character as humans.
最后，我想再補(bǔ)充關(guān)于婚姻和生活很多方面的一點(diǎn)。今天我們好像生活在一個(gè)很隨意的、及時(shí)行樂的社會(huì)，生活不盡如人意時(shí)我們尋求快速便捷的解決方法來(lái)減少損失。婚姻不易，不能虛情假意，需要巨大的付出。會(huì)有挫折，不能事事如意，偶爾你還會(huì)難受。這就是生活，這就是婚姻，我們?nèi)绾螒?yīng)對(duì)才是最重要的。我認(rèn)為婚姻很神圣，因?yàn)槠鋵?shí)它是世界上最難的，而且它揭示了我們?nèi)诵灾械乃刑攸c(diǎn)。

I continue to love, respect and care for my wife. I am thankful for our time together.
我會(huì)繼續(xù)去愛、尊重、關(guān)心我的妻子，我很感激我們?cè)谝黄鸬娜兆印?/div>

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（翻譯：菲菲）