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Pirates Need Science, Too

Arrrrr. Today, September 19th, is international talk like a pirate day. No, seriously, yo ho ho, check the web, it really is. When they say it "talk like pirate", they don't mean, for example, "Hey, can you copy these DVDs for me?" No, they mean when you talk like this. Ya know, matey, anyone could be a pirate, all ya needed was a proper disrespect for authority and a willingness to be seasick months at a time. But to be a truly successful pirate and not just the son of a biscuit eater, well, ya had to know a bit of science too.

呃,今天是9月19日,國際海盜語言日。真的,我可沒開玩笑,不信你可以去網(wǎng)上搜下。當大伙兒要“扮海盜說話”時,可不是準備“玩盜版”,說一堆“嘿,你能幫我把這些DVD碟復(fù)刻一下嗎?”之類的話。完全不是這么回事!國際海盜語言日就是大家真的像海盜一樣說話,像這樣:“要知道,伙計,誰都能成為一名海盜,而你所需的是要對當權(quán)者有股子蔑視無禮的勁兒,還有能忍受幾個月暈船暈到七葷八素的心理準備。但要成為一名真正的海盜,別像個水手的私生子那樣衰!當然,你最好還得有點科學(xué)知識。

A good pirate captain had to know the astronomy to navigate by the stars. He had to be acquainted with meteorology and know enough fluid dynamics to make sure he didn’t overload his ship with booty. And he needed the psychological skills to manage his literally motley crew.

一名優(yōu)秀的海盜船長必須了解天文學(xué),通過星相來導(dǎo)航,還必須熟知氣象學(xué),對流體動力學(xué)也要十分了解,這樣他才不會給船上裝載過量的戰(zhàn)利品。這還沒完,他還要掌握些心理技能才能把他手底下那些形形色色的嘍嘍們玩的轉(zhuǎn)。

Your average pirate ship required a buccaneer surgeon to treat stab wounds and cat o' nine tails slashes, and a swashbucklin' general practitioner to make sure the men had the right diet to ward off scurvy with foods rich in vitamin C. Plus, your pirate optometrist supplied the men with eye patches. And of course, And of course, advanced veterinary pra..

What .. What do you mean my time's up? I'm a pirate, and I don't care of my time's up!

.. advanced veterinary practice kept your pirate parrots in fine fettle. So ya see, me hearty, no matter what your chosen path, science is sure to give you a hand. Or at least a hook .

你的每艘海盜船都需要一名甘愿當海盜的外科醫(yī)生,給船員們處理刀刺傷口和九尾鞭打出的鞭傷,還要配上一名裝模作樣的全科醫(yī)生來確保船員們飲食有方,多吃富含VC的食物,避免壞血病蔓延。當然,也少不了一名高級獸醫(yī)……

喂,你什么意思?這么快就讓我的60秒到了?!我可是個海盜,我才不管什么時間到?jīng)]到的!

……也少不了一名高級獸醫(yī)隨侍左右,讓你寵愛的海盜鸚鵡時刻神采奕奕。好啦,瞧,伙計,不管你選擇怎樣的道路,科學(xué)定可助你一臂之力。嗯,至少是助你一“鉤”之力!

—Pirate Steve

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