?

Scream at the boss? Snap at a colleague? Throw your cell phone into your computer monitor?

朝老板大喊大叫？對(duì)同事厲聲斥責(zé)？把手機(jī)砸在電腦顯示器上？

In most cases anger isn't an illness but a normal human emotion that causes problems when it flares too hot, too often. People can learn to manage their anger with practical skills.

在大多數(shù)情況下，憤怒并不是一種疾病，而是一種正常的人類情緒，只不過在過度、過于頻繁發(fā)生的時(shí)候才會(huì)導(dǎo)致問題。通過實(shí)際的技巧，人們可以學(xué)會(huì)管理自己的憤怒情緒。

Psychologists believe that individual talk therapy is the most effective for anger problems. Anger doesn't occur by itself. It's nested and embedded with a lot of other emotions -- sadness, grief, shame. Angry people want to talk, given the opportunity.

心理學(xué)家認(rèn)為，個(gè)人對(duì)話治療是解決憤怒問題最有效的方法。憤怒并非單獨(dú)產(chǎn)生的，它還隱含和嵌入著許多其它情緒，比如傷心、悲痛、羞辱等等。一旦有機(jī)會(huì)，憤怒的人總是想傾訴。

Tips to Help Keep A Temper in Check

有助于控制脾氣的小貼士

--Calculate what your anger is costing you. Many people with anger problems think anger gives them an edge, and establishes superiority. Instead, you just look like an idiot.

計(jì)算憤怒的成本。許多患有憤怒問題的人都會(huì)認(rèn)為憤怒給予他們一定的優(yōu)勢，讓他們具有優(yōu)越感。其實(shí)恰恰相反，你看起來就像個(gè)白癡。

--Be aware of how you talk to yourself. If you keep saying how awful this is and making yourself feel alike a victim, you will get more angry.

小心自言自語的方式。如果你總是在說這件事情是多么糟糕，讓你自己感覺十足是個(gè)受害者的話，你就會(huì)變得更加憤怒。

--If you feel a blowup coming on, give yourself a time-out before acting on it. Wait 15 minutes before you say something, or an hour before you send an email. Keep your options open. If it's not going to be important in an hour, then let it go. It's not worth getting angry about.

如果你感覺自己就要大發(fā)雷霆，那么不妨在爆發(fā)之前稍作停頓。過15分鐘再開口，或者是過一個(gè)小時(shí)再發(fā)郵件。給自己多個(gè)選擇。如果在一個(gè)小時(shí)之內(nèi)這件事情變得不再那么重要的話，那么就讓它過去吧。它不值得你為之生氣。

--Keep an "anger log" to monitor what makes you angry. Learn to identify and avoid your triggers.

記下“憤怒日志”，監(jiān)控導(dǎo)致自己憤怒的因素。學(xué)習(xí)辨認(rèn)和避免觸發(fā)憤怒的扳機(jī)。

--Don't ruminate on past affronts or injustices.

莫要沉湎于過去所受的侮辱或者不公平。

--Get physical, without fists. When your primitive brain senses a threat, it sets off the 'fight or flight' cascade of hormones. Opt for flight instead of fight and burn off the extra adrenaline and cortisol with exercise. Even a brisk walk will help calm you down.

以鍛煉消耗精力，不用拳頭。當(dāng)你的原腦感覺到危險(xiǎn)的時(shí)候，它會(huì)發(fā)出“打或逃”的激素鏈。選擇逃而非打，通過鍛煉消耗掉多余的腎上腺素和皮質(zhì)醇。即便是一次輕快的散步也會(huì)有助于你平和情緒。

--Reframe the situation. Instead of seeing every inconvenience or frustration as a personal affront, imagine a benign explanation.

重新組織自己面臨的狀況。與其把每一次困難或者沮喪的經(jīng)歷看作個(gè)人遭受的侮辱，倒不如設(shè)想一個(gè)善意的解釋。

--Find a constructive solution to the issue at hand. Ask yourself: What do I need to be okay right now? That shifts the focus from how the other person needs to be punished to how I need to respond in a healthy way.

找出一個(gè)建設(shè)性的解決辦法應(yīng)對(duì)手頭的問題。問問你自己：我現(xiàn)在需要怎么做才能保持平靜？這樣就會(huì)將注意力轉(zhuǎn)移，從專注于考慮對(duì)方必須受到怎樣的懲罰，轉(zhuǎn)移到要怎樣才能以一種良好的方式應(yīng)對(duì)。