Here are those five things you should NEVER say to your spouse:

以下是對你的愛人堅決不能說的五句話：

1. It's your fault! Sometimes, a financial decision goes bad, one of your children gets in trouble at school, or some household calamity occurs. And know this - things do go bad from time to time in any relationship. Decisions turn out wrong. Stuff happens! But the blame game never works! It alienates. It divides. It most certainly undermines trust and openness in your relationship.

1.那是你的錯！有時，會做出錯誤的經(jīng)濟開支決定，你的哪個孩子在學(xué)校闖禍了，或者出了一些家庭災(zāi)難。你需要知道，這些事情在任何家庭中都屢次發(fā)生。做出錯誤的決定，自然就發(fā)生了這樣的事。但是，“責(zé)備”絲毫不會奏效。它只會疏遠(yuǎn)和離間你們，而且毫無疑問地會傷害到你們之間的信任和坦誠。

2. I told you so! Trust us on this - these four words are rarely ever used in successful marriages. This kind of "comeuppance" has no place in a loving relationship. There is no need to remind your spouse that you were right about something and they were wrong. Talk about wasted criticism!

2.我早告訴過你！相信我，在成功的婚姻里幾乎不會出現(xiàn)這幾個字。在愛情中不應(yīng)有這種類似于“幸災(zāi)樂禍”的責(zé)難。你完全沒有必要去提醒你的愛人，關(guān)于一些事你是對的而TA是錯的。那些批評沒有任何意義。

　
3. Saying "I am upset with you about this or that . . . ." in a public setting. Telling private secrets or criticizing your spouse in public or to someone else can do permanent damage to the trust in your relationship. True or not - it doesn't matter. Keep private things private.

3.在公共場合就說：“我真受不你這樣或那樣”。在別人面前揭你愛人的短或批評，將會對你們感情中的信任造成永久性的傷害。對錯并不重要。家里的事家里解決。

　
4. Why do you always . . . Focusing on your spouse's weakness rather than building on their strengths will only increase their weakness and diminish their strength. This habit can send a relationship into a downward spiral if weaknesses are pointed out and commented upon. Success does breed success. Stick with the strengths and don't focus on weakness.

4.你怎么老是。。。？總盯著你愛人的缺點，而不是放大TA的優(yōu)點，只會讓TA的優(yōu)點更少缺點更多。指出并批評愛人的缺點，這一毛病會讓你們的感情每況愈下。成功孕育成功。多注意對方的優(yōu)點，不要總盯著缺點。

　
5. Ask for your spouse's opinion and then do the opposite. We have heard from many angry divorced or almost divorced couples that this is the greatest indicator of "disrespect." If you ask where your spouse wants to go to dinner and he/she suggests a couple of places, then you select a different one, by your actions you said, "I do not respect your opinion and don't care what you think!"

5.問過你愛人的意見卻反其道而行。從很多憤怒的離婚的或即要離婚的人們口中，我們都有所耳聞，這是最大的“不尊重”。如果你問你的愛人想去哪兒吃晚飯，她說了幾個地方，而你卻挑了一個別的。你是在用行動告訴好：“我不尊重你的意見，也不在乎你怎么想?！?/div>

Since saying negative or hurtful things can be damaging to a loving relationship, it is wise to take extra caution before engaging your mouth when these negative thoughts come into your mind。

既然這些消極而傷人的事情會傷害到你們的感情，所以，在那些消極的想法涌入腦海時，下意識地慎從口從不失為一個明智之舉。

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