雨前
Praying For Rainfall
何其芳
He Qifang
| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國散文選二》

中文:
我懷想著故鄉(xiāng)的雷聲和雨聲。那隆隆的有力的搏擊,從山谷返響到山谷,仿佛春之芽就從凍土里震動,驚醒,而怒茁出來。細(xì)草樣柔的雨絲又以溫存之手撫摸它,使它簇生油綠的枝葉而開出紅色的花。這些懷想如鄉(xiāng)愁一樣縈繞得使我憂郁了。我心里的氣候也和這北方大陸一樣缺少雨量,一滴溫柔的淚在我枯澀的眼里,如遲疑在這陰沉的天空里的雨點(diǎn),久不落下。

英文:
I can never forget the thunderstorm we often had in my home town. Over there, whenever the rumble of thunder reverberated across the valley, the buds of spring would seem to sprout freely after being disturbed and roused up from their slumber in the frozen soil. Then tenderly stroked by the soft hands of fine rain, they would put forth bright green leaves and pink flowers. It makes me nostalgic and melancholy to think about the old times and my mind is as depressed as the vast expanse of North China is thirsty. A tear stands in my dull eye and, like the rain lingering in the murky sky, is slow to roll down.

要點(diǎn):
1,“那隆隆的有力的搏擊,從山谷返響到山谷,仿佛春之芽就從凍土里震動,驚醒,而怒茁出來?!白g為Over there, whenever the rumble of thunder reverberated across the valley, the buds of spring would seem to sprout freely after being disturbed and roused up from their slumber in the frozen soil. 原文中的3個動詞?!闭駝芋@醒,和怒茁“其實(shí)是遞升的關(guān)系,張先生在翻譯時同時運(yùn)用了主動語態(tài)和被動語態(tài),使得原文的遞升意義不復(fù)存在?,F(xiàn)提供另一段譯文。Those mighty crashes rumbled and reverberated from mountain valley to mountain valley, as if the new shoots of spring were shaking in the frozen gound, awakening, and bursting forth with a terrifying vigour.。這段譯文很好地體現(xiàn)了遞升的手法,同學(xué)們可以對比記憶。

2,“細(xì)草樣柔的雨絲又以溫存之手撫摸它,使它簇生油綠的枝葉而開出紅色的花。“突出地使用書面語或文學(xué)性詞匯,也是本文的特色之一,加之這句話既有通感,又有擬人,因此在選詞方面要尤為注意

3,“我心里的氣候也和這北方大陸一樣缺少雨量“不宜按字面直譯,可理解為” 我的心情抑郁,和北方大地干旱達(dá)到同樣嚴(yán)重的程度?!皩⑵浔扔鞯囊馑挤鰜?,譯為my mind is as depressed as the vast expanse of North China is thirsty.

4,“久不落下“漢語的否定結(jié)果比較單純,否定詞只有“不”、“非”、“否”、“勿”、“別”、“無”、“未”、“莫”、“不是”、“沒有”、“決不”、“毫無”、“幾乎沒有”、“幾乎不”等簡單的詞匯,漢語的傳統(tǒng)是傾向于動詞否定。

而英語的否定除借助詞匯手段外,還借助句子結(jié)構(gòu)和特殊表達(dá)方式來表達(dá)否定概念,既有動詞否定,也有名詞否定的習(xí)慣。

此處譯者譯為is slow to roll down, 是使用系表結(jié)構(gòu)~表達(dá)了了形式上肯定,意義上否定的方法。

綜述:
注意本段講的否定句的譯法~實(shí)際翻譯時為了符合英語表達(dá)習(xí)慣,我們可以“形肯意否“或采取否定轉(zhuǎn)移的方法~

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中文:
白色的鴨也似有一點(diǎn)煩躁了,有不潔的顏色的都市的河溝里傳出它們焦急的叫聲。有的還未厭倦那船一樣的徐徐的劃行。有的卻倒插它們的長頸在水里,紅色的蹼趾伸在尾后,不停地?fù)鋼糁灾С稚眢w的平衡。不知是在尋找溝底的細(xì)微食物,還是貪那深深的水里的寒冷。

英文:
White ducks have also become somewhat impatient. Some are sending out irritated quacks from the turbid waters of an urban creek. Some keep swimming leisurely and tirelessly like a slow boat. Some have their long necks submerged headfirst in the water while sticking up their webbed feet behind their tails and splashing them desperately so as to keep their balance. There is no knowing if they are searching for tiny bits of food from the bottom of the creek or just enjoying the chill of the deep water.

要點(diǎn):
1.在處理多層定語句“有不潔的顏色的都市的河溝里傳出它們焦急的叫聲“是譯者采用了后置定語來翻譯,譯為the turbid waters of an urban creek,

2,第二個多層定語句“那船一樣的徐徐的劃行“譯者巧妙地按其功能處理為了方式狀語
swimming leisurely and tirelessly like a slow boat

3,“不知是在尋找溝底的細(xì)微食物,還是貪那深深的水里的寒冷。“中的”不知…”=there is no knowing…,并且對于“寒冷”一詞的處理也比較貼切。

綜述:
漢語定語一般為前置,而且很少使用超過兩層以上的多層定語,這是漢語的傳統(tǒng)。在英語翻譯語言的影響下,現(xiàn)代漢語的多層前置定語已經(jīng)成為普遍現(xiàn)象。與漢語相比,英語名詞常常有多層定語限制,這些定語或前置或后置,或前后合并使用。明白了這些漢英差異,做起翻譯也會稍微得心應(yīng)手。

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