Research on what makes a marriage work shows that people in a good marriage have completed these psychological "tasks":

關(guān)于“是什么使婚姻美滿”的研究表明，那些擁有幸?；橐龅娜藗兺呀?jīng)完成了這些心理“任務(wù)”。

1. Separate emotionally from the family you grew up in; not to the point of estrangement, but enough so that your identity is separate from that of your parents and siblings.

在感情上與你成長的家庭分開；不要到產(chǎn)生隔閡的地步，但要足以使你的身份獨(dú)立于你的父母和兄弟姐妹。

2. Build togetherness based on a shared intimacy and identity, while at the same time set boundaries to protect each partner's autonomy.

在相互的親昵和一致的基礎(chǔ)上建立歸屬感，但同時也要設(shè)定一些界限來保障每一個成員的自主權(quán)。

3. Establish a rich and pleasurable sexual relationship and protect it from the intrusions of the workplace and family obligations.

建立一種豐富而又愉快的性關(guān)系，并保護(hù)其免受繁雜工作和家庭義務(wù)的干擾。

4. For couples with children, embrace the daunting roles of parenthood and absorb the impact of a baby's entrance into the marriage. Learn to continue the work of protecting the privacy of you and your spouse as a couple.

對于有孩子的夫妻，坦然地接受父母這樣的嚴(yán)峻角色，消化掉因?qū)殞毜某霈F(xiàn)而對婚姻生活造成的影響。夫妻雙方還要學(xué)會繼續(xù)保護(hù)自己和配偶的隱私。

5. Confront and master the inevitable crises of life.

共同面對和掌控生活中不可避免的危機(jī)。

6. Maintain the strength of the marital bond in the face of adversity. The marriage should be a safe haven in which partners are able to express their differences, anger and conflict.

在面對逆境時保持婚姻關(guān)系的穩(wěn)定?；橐鰬?yīng)當(dāng)是一個安全的港灣，在這里夫妻之間可以表達(dá)他們的不同觀點(diǎn)、忿怒和沖突。

7. Use humor and laughter to keep things in perspective and to avoid boredom and isolation.

通過幽默和笑聲來對待事情，避免厭倦和孤立。

8. Nurture and comfort each other, satisfying each partnerís needs for dependency and offering continuing encouragement and support.

扶持和安慰彼此，滿足彼此依戀的需求，并提供持續(xù)性的鼓勵和支持。

9. Keep alive the early romantic, idealized images of falling in love, while facing the sober realities of the changes wrought by time.

隨著時間的流逝，即使面對理性的現(xiàn)實(shí)，也要保持年輕時候一顆浪漫的心和墜入愛河時美好的憧憬。

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